Childless Life

TwinsMum_2

I would find that very difficult, I wanted children and when I meet my husband he knew I wanted children, I would have had them with or without him, he knew that. My sister has no children because her husband and her decided that they would not have any, she adores my boys and I think she would make a wonderful mum, and I tell her everytime I see her don't leave it too late, see I am convinced she has spent so long saying that she dosn't want them she has convinced herself that is the way it will be. You only have one life you have to make the best of it.

Barcode

Surely, I can't be the only person sympathetic to the OP's husband. If somebody states they don't want children, it's unfair to think, or expect, they will change their mind - it is not a good thing for everybody, and in general, people do think these things through. It is no different from a partner trying to turn the other into something they are not in other areas too.

And some of the reasons for having children in this thread are barking mad: to provide in your old age? Better hope you're bringing up a considerate, responsible citizen then, which is by no means guaranteed.

The O.P knew what she was getting into, so I really don't know how she complain it when five years later, the husband has not, surprise surprise, changed his mind.

mrcow

Barcode wrote: »

Surely, I can't be the only person sympathetic to the OP's husband.

lol no you're not

Having children is not the right thing for many people and for very good reasons. It is something however that needs to be made very clear in a relationship.

I have recently just had to face up to the fact that I am not going to be able to have any more children (although I already have three so the circumstances are different). It's actually a very hard pill to swallow when it's not 100% what you want for yourself and I can understand (in some ways) the problems that the OP is facing.

I guess a decision has to be made along the lines of what does she want more?

G-G_4

Me and OH do want children one day, although sometimes we decide now is right, and other days we both feel it is too early. I am 24, and he is 32.

The lucky thing is we both tend to feel the same thing at the same time, so we don't clash over it.. so I do feel for you if you are having a constant battle.

I sometimes wonder what world I am subjecting to my possible future children to. I can't imagine never having children though, and so I am torn..

Good luck, whatever you and OH decide to do.. x

Rupa

Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 is discussing this now. This topic, not this thread obviously.