The Best Is Yet To Come

slm6002

Thank you to you all. I haven't had any therapy to help, but realise that it may be something to look into. Now that he has split with the other woman he seems to be hanging around here a lot more. It wasn't until a ladies refuge came into work and talked about what they do, that I realised that he had mentally abused me for most of our marriage. Withholding / controlling the money for the household even though I was the one trying to pay the bills with the little money I did have, telling me I couldn't go out, not letting me stay friends with people and making everything my fault, even if I was sure it wasn't, he would still make me believe him. I was put down so much that I eventually believed that I was not worthy of anything. Not a nice person, and me and the kids are so much better now. I think it is the fact he was walking around as if nothing was wrong and look at how fantastic a person he is. His friends just believe it all and I feel like shouting at them that this is the not the real him. Anyway one day I hope that he will be found out.

Anyway I am feeling ok now and had a busy but productive day yesterday. Food shopping completed, took DS for his jab at the same time collecting everyone's prescriptions, met with a friend, took DD2 to the gym, did some washing and clearing up. I didn't really stop. Then DD1 came in demanding I go get her cheese for dinner as my cheese was not the right kind, it got my back up. I refused and she did not like it so stropped off to her room. When she was with BF everything he did revolved around her and now she is expecting it from friends and family. That is not working out too well for her. Friends are cancelling on her for the same reasons I am expecting. I feel she may realise soon what she has given up.

We are still waiting to hear if an offer will be made and I am really hoping that it will as there is one of the houses that we have considered in the right village that has yet again reduced its asking price. There is a small possibility that we would be able to move mortgage free too, but because of their low price I fear it will not hang around much longer. I am going to contact my agent to see if they can speak to the couple and get an answer out of them either way.

Today there is nothing in the diary other than DD1 going shopping with her friend, and DS working. I plan to potter around the house and make it look a little less messy.

slm6002

About to wake DD2 up as we are off to the sports centre for some early morning exercise. She will go to the gym and I will swim. Probably only about half an hour but it is a start. I may pop into work as well to go through the post. I know I had a whole van of deliveries that are currently all under and around my desk. I would rather open and sort them to the correct places than wait until the first day back in the office. That is if we are allowed in - work are keen for me to take my holiday and rest. I will rest, but knowing they are there is not helpful lol.

teapot2

If you are considering counselling or similar, it might be worth contacting your local women's aid for support as I know private counselling can be expensive. It won't matter that you split up some time ago especially as it sounds like it is retraumatising when you see him unexpectedly.

slm6002

Thank you I will look into it with them

debtfreewannabe321

Morning slm I hope you get an answer either way today on the house. A new start away from old marriage memories would be great for you. I couldn't wait to sell the house I owned with my ex for that reason. I have recently had some counselling and many of my issues stemmed from two people- my father and my ex H. Both mentally, physically and emotionally abused me. Counselling did help somewhat and I would recommend it if you've not spoken to anyone about it before it can be really helpful just to have someone say to you, you did nothing wrong. ❤️

slm6002

Thank you DFW. At the time we were just going into lockdown and I found that so helpful as no one could ask about it or question me, and by the time we came out we had got into the grove of it just being us, so never really thought about it. Then he had his stroke and was with the other woman so stayed away really. I was still wary of seeing either of them out and about, or his family. It has only become a bigger problem since he has moved back more locally and seems to be popping up all the time in random places. I don't like how it makes me feel.

And yes if we can move to the village I would like there is absolutely no reason for him to pop up in the area. So maybe today will be the day, I do hope so, but if they are not the ones maybe some other viewings would be good.

Swimming was good and I feel refreshed and awake, so may sort a drawer or 2 and get rid of some of the clutter building up

slm6002

Still no news so guessing it is a no. But maybe we may at least hear that from the agent today to finalise that thought in my mind.

Other than a parcel that is being collected today, we have nothing planned. Another relaxing day pottering around I think. DD2 is at work too so quiet day at home for us.

Last night DD1 wanted to go for a walk so I decided to drive to the beach. It is about 40 min away, but I havent been in ages and as it was a lovely evening we thought why not. We had £1 each on the 2p machines and a lovely walk. Very nice and relaxing and saw no one that we knew lol.

slm6002

Well it is already hot and I don't do well in this heat so feel anything needing doing needs to be done before it gets stupidly warm. I have opened windows to try to get some air through the house, but I am still waiting lol. DD2 is off to the library today for some crafts and DS is off to meet friends and to go to the cinema. I am meeting my best friend at 2 and DD1 has the day off so is planning something. Nothing too strenuous for any of us.

No news from the estate agents as yet. At the moment it is still saying the house we would like it still there for sale - how much longer at the really low price I do not know. I would love to use this time we have off to start preparing and packing but have been here before and ended up unpacking, so no point in that as yet. I am however decluttering the odd thing here and there ready. I am also slightly jealous as a close friend finally moved into her new house on Monday too. It was a very long process but she has made it.

Yesterday we did some outdoor cooking and came home with extra in our food box as a few families hadn't turned up (it was very hot so don't blame them). The fridge is so full, so I need to make sure I do something with it all. Maybe do a big slow cooker meal for the freezer, or prep some of the veg.

I best get moving before it gets warmer

slm6002

Well I am not sure where this week went. We have had lots of fun busy moments surrounded by some restful times but have always had something on each day. Next week looks almost as busy.

I am still working my way through the pile of food from the free box that we got. It means we haven't been shopping for the odd thing that we needed, as we just don't have the room to store it, even if we did go to the shops. The fridge is at the dangerous point of a jenga game, and adding anything extra or moving something without first looking could mean everything tumbling out onto the floor. We have also eaten a lot more veg than normal with our meals which I guess can only be a good thing.

We have a concert at a local fete today and will be there for a good number of hours. We will take our packed lunch with us and snacks. The band normally get treated to a cream tea as a thank you, so I may get a bit of DD2's scone / cake. I need to remember the sun cream and will look for my chair in the garage to take, although there are normally some available. Please everyone keep your fingers crossed XH is not at this one. There is a car show and it is that that normally attracts him. I'd just like a relaxed day.

I am thinking of making the dinner ready to pop in the oven when we get back, but that will depend on if I can put it in the fridge until it is needed. It is a new recipe that I saw, basically a bolognaise meat sauce with gnocci, all mixed together and baked with a sprinkling of cheese on top. Sounds nice and simple. We also have some garlic bread in the freezer that I thought we could use. Serve with some of the salad bits in the fridge and ta dah lol. We have a teams meeting this evening, so I am keen to make sure we have eaten before and not had to rush around too much after a long day out.

I need to update my gym figure below as we have been a few more times. At the moment it is looking like it has been worth it, plus I must have burnt off a few calories.

First load of washing has now finished so will go put that on the line. Hoping to do another before we leave.

teapot2

Fingers crossed there was an absence of the XH 🤞🏼