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Made inroads on my craft things yesterday - one bag of bits for mum of 4 girls and probably two bags for the charity shop. Three bin bags went in the black (rubbish) bin of which two bags were garden/ diy/ painting stuff other than stuff that goes in the green bin. Then later decided to get even more radical and a third of my craft stash will shortly be leaving (too hot to go anywhere today).
Working on something in one of minimalist mum's video's. She was talking about the reasons why we keep things and the one that struck a chord was 'fantasy you'. This is the belief that one day you will eg be the sort of person who gives lavish dinner parties, will make a beautiful quilt or other handmade items, can live with a white couch and children/teenagers/ animals.
Crafts
I have a long list of projects I'd like to do but my time is limited and the amount of embroidery I can do has greatly diminished - a maximum of two hours a day, down from 12 or 13 hours. I'm trying not to start anything new until I've done 5 important pieces - one has been finished and handed over, two are nearly finished and one only needs making up into a cushion. The fifth was for my mother but she won't be able to see it any more (it's emerald green on a deep blue background).
The last one I'm slightly annoyed about because I had taken it to do at a weekly craft session and was cajoled into making a cut down version to be put into someone's coffin - I was asked if I could do it within a week and I said no (I work on one hour to complete one square inch as a rough guide when I'm deciding if I can fit a piece of work into my schedule) but then showed her a part of the design which could be done in that time (with some extra words in simple lettering). I put the one for my mum aside and did the 'favour' (she offered to pay me but I had helped some other members of the craft group and not charged them anything. However I later found out that the piece hadn't gone in the coffin and had been kept.
Soon afterwards I had to stop working on coloured fabric (bold colours first, then pastels later) so this has been done very slowly over a number of years (because I sort of go cross-eyed after a while). For once I used a whole piece of cloth and centred the design and I absolutely love the colours, so I may keep it. But if it's for me it's at the bottom of the pile.
I think I've reached the stage where I would normally start a new piece (because it gives impetus to all the other work, I can work on a large patch of something where stitching is easy and I don't have to 'follow a pattern' and then work on something more complicated. I would also have a box of small pieces (mostly greeting card sized) and sometimes I'd work through the box of small pieces and go through my 'use up' threads so eg if a cat needed a few green stitches for it's eyes, I'd put that in with a suitable colour.
It's over a year since I ended my business. I had a huge row with the tax credit people about what I had and hadn't told them, they ended my claim and tried to reclaim two years of payments. I wrote an eight page letter, I could prove I had told them about the changes for the first year as I had jotted down verbatim the phone conversation I had had where the employee admitted that everything I was telling him was in my file but for some reason, had not been entered on the computer system. After his supervisor was consulted, I had been told it was a rare glitch in the system but she had come across it before. I was told not to worry, to ignore the form that was in the post but to fill in the next year's return. It was the 'one year later' return that caused the problems.
They conceded the first year but still wanted me to pay back the second year payments. Basically they had repeated the previous year's mistakes and the information I had given them was still not on the system ( and the employee I spoke to kept asking for different year's information so I was sitting flicking back and forward in my Accounts book with a raft of tax letters on one side and a series of Carer's Allowance letters on the other). In the end I told them the money they were asking for was more than double what was in my bank account. I did a deal with DS3 who paid me advance rent so I could pay it off but when I sent the payment it was returned to my bank account 10 days later. No letter of explanation, no apology but at least I was solvent again.
However all the hassle together with eye and hand problems (arthritis, shaking caused by a combination of medicines) and not making much money at all) and the continued struggle to keep going made me decide to pack it in. Going into self-employment was my last ditch attempt at working - I could work my hours around the bad days after my brother died when I just wanted to crawl under the bedclothes. Trust me to start a new business just before the crash in 2008. I've done a lot of physical work in my time and that has also taken it's toll (total hip replacement at the age of 56). Now I live on Carer's Allowance of 67 pounds 60 pence a week (for over 35 hours, we got a penny an hour increase this year). Together with DS3's contribution, I can pay my household bills and have enough for food but few extras.
My brother died at the age of 47. It's increasingly likely that I will outlive my baby brother (was recently hospitalised and spent time in intensive care). I am determined to reach my belated pension age (provided they don't switch the goal posts again) in 2 years and 6 months and then live to a very old age and claim my pension for as long as possible.
Sorry I'm way off topic. I have been doing a lot of thinking about who I am, what I have time and space for in my life and how I include lots of moments of joy and happiness and things that make my heart and soul sing. Some of my frantic digging over the past few weeks was displacement activity because there were lots of things making me unhappy and I wasn't sure what, if anything, I could do about them. This means I'll be becoming even more hardcore about getting rid of anything that no longer belongs in my life.
You're all doing brilliantly. Hugs for everyone who needs one or wants one (I'm a great hugger). A million thanks to our wonderful (cheer)leader. I'll be back.My mission in life is not only to survive,but to thrive and to do so with some Passion, some Compassion, some Humour and some Style.NST SEP No 1 No Debt No mortgage8 -
@mothernerd sounds v stressful with tax credit people, and people not doing what they should, and as well as how much you do, how much you do for others is very inspiring, as well as the embroidery .
Agree about the fantasy life, I have so much craft materials, paint etc, make up, handbags, whereas I where almost no make-up and either stuff things in my pockets or take a back pack. also fantasy cook, clothes for cocktails and glasses and tableware for large parties. I'm giving up some, and accepting some of these will never happen but do think when I stop working, work part-time some I will do
1323 deleted some apps and then the emails offering me incentives to use them - also deleted
1324 bracelet to CS, - quite a big move taking second or third visit to jewellery.
1324 hospital appts, mine - apparently torn small ligament in my wrist and arthritis in one hand as well as carpel tunnel they think. Turned down injections and being sent for more investigations. Also got DD1 appt in the morning for her ankle, bf taking her so hoping he is useful, can understand nicer for her to have him than me with her.
only nudged some frogs but will hopefully move far enough along to count tomorrow.
@EnergyShifter hope you get a good sleep tonight, 4 hours sounds v grumpy making if me. I think half the stuff away within 24 hours is not bad going- have known things not move for months!8 -
@mothernerd it all seems so frustrating dealing with 'officials'. I won't mention BG who are ignoring me this week - another email tomorrow I think. Several years ago I had a lengthy row with HMRC over some underpaid tax. Totally their fault as they had failed to act on the information both I and my then employer had supplied. Getting it sorted was a long tale of unanswered letters, meaningless apologies, contradictory requests etc. MP got involved as well. I knew I would have to pay it as they are allowed to make mistakes, even those of gross incompetence, as I am somehow supposed to know they had got it wrong. I paid half in cash and the rest over a year - I could have paid it all straight away but I didn't on principle.
Took DGCs swimming again so have a few aches and pains again today. Nice to cool off after school. I am taking them to school in the morning then no school runs until September although I will be doing some child care. I am still wearing mask much of the time where there are people but noticed most have abandoned them for school pickups.
1324 Filled green bin with weeds for collection tomorrow.
1325 - 1326 Ornaments x 2 to CS bag
Someone has bought my old dining room unit which they are collecting Sunday. Sales this week have covered more than half of last week's oven clean. Dentist's trip this week a bit inconclusive as toothache has gone but he is going to try and replace the crown which came off during pandemic as I eventually found the place I had put it for safety. Needs longer appointment in August in case he needs plan B (a new crown) which will be expensive.
I feel ready to tackle some more ornaments and thin out the lounge shelves and book cases. There is still space in new dining room unit - I have some nice boxes to go in which can hold the sorted old photos (when scanned) and wartime memories box. Happy memories today on one of my zoom groups as I presented some pictures of a wonderful holiday 8 years ago with late DH - a week on a small boat cruise down the coast of Croatia. I have been so lucky to have travelled as much as I have but I can wait for new experiences until the world is safer. Hopefully I will not be too old by then!2024 Decluttering Campaign 536/2024 🏅🏅🏅🏅⭐️
2024 Weight loss target 0/28 lbs
2024 1p challenge 126/366 days Total £115.429 -
@mothernerd, my sympathies re the tax office, they are a complete mystery to me. On the few occasions I have dealt with them I am always at a loss to understand their decisions and usually have to seek explanations from other people. Your embroidery work sounds beautiful, so annoying though for someone to ask for a rush thing and then not use it as planned. You need to make sure you give a higher priority to things for you, you work so hard you deserve lovely things. On finances it is an absolute disgrace that carers are so poorly paid when you consider how much it would cost if the care were provided by an agency. For what you get your Mum would be lucky to get 1 15minute visit a week. I agree about the fantasy self. I have loads of craft stuff that I have kept for when I get time, well that time is rapidly approaching, 2 days left in work and I will give myself a year to work out what I am really going to do craftwise and anything I am not using or enjoying will definitely have to go.
Today was quite emotional in work as we had a virtual staff meeting to basically say goodbye to all those leaving, 5 including myself. I have loved my job and consider myself to be very lucky to have found myself doing it. I had no grand life plan and until I found this job I would have said I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, I was 40 when I found it The original retirement plan was to leave at the same time as my teaching assistant, after working together for over 15 years, unfortunately she died last year and I couldn't help but think of her today and all the plans we had made. A few tears and tissues decluttered.
A few items thrown away in work, on the home stretch workwise, last big piece of work nearly finished and then I just have to remove stuff from my laptop, ipad dealt with and handed over. More items in though, 2 big pots of flowers taken straight to the patio from my class staff, a bunch of flowers from the school, 2 bottles of wine, 2 boxes of chocs, some candle stuff, beautiful pair of earinngs and loads of cards, mainly from staff. Yes Mrs SD we are very lucky in our school as we have some very generous parents. I think because we are a special school we probably have a much closer relationship with our parents than in a mainstream school and often support the whole family which was very important during the last year or so. Our school has been open for pupils throughout the covid period for any parent who wanted to send their child in. Those that chose to keep their child at home, some pupils have medical conditions making them extremely vulnerable, got home learning provided in a variety of formats suitable for their child as well as welfare phone calls at least once a week. As a happy result we have built an even closer relationship with our parents though I can't say it has been stress free. Several staff and pupils unfortunately got covid resulting in bubbles having to be sent home etc.
Nothing done at home apart from the wu and a load of washing. A couple of phone calls made about the football season tickets, one person in particular is stressing me but it will be sorted out in a few months
Sorry for the long ramblings
Take care everyone
8 -
Some very thoughtful and thought provoking posts today, Thank you for sharing.
I have had 3 battles with officialdom with limited success. One where I had a tax credit letter asking me to tell them if my child had left education. Didn't because he was going to 6th form. Silly me 6th form isn't education! 2nd and 3rd were both tying to change mobile suppliers. It was like trying to leave a cult!
I have got rid of my aspirational me books, clothes, craft supplies. I struggle with aspirational catering stuff and shoes. I have a lot of both. I have had a huge operation on my foot and ankle I can't wear most shoes. I now have a tiny house and cannot host lavish parties anymore. I defy logic.
Fixed the cooker yesterday and sanded and oiled the new bannister. 2 jobs off my list. Too hot for a lot else.
Work today as we are short staffed as someone was pinged. 2nd time after only being back 4 days.
Today I braved the scales for the first time in about a month. 1/2lb on. Very surprised as we have been eating all sorts of gubbins.
509. notebook used up,recycled.
Vx:7 -
Summer hols have started for DS2, so we have started sorting some things in his room, some of which are on this list as they have left (others are pending sale/ collection etc so will be listed when officially gone) DS3 finishes tomorrow - his room will be next when DS2's is finished!
701 – 711. Books sold via Z1ff1t
702 – 703. Box. Polystyrene and bubble wrap reused on above
704. Box and bubble wrap used on some CS fragile items
705 – 716. Books – CS
717 – 718. 2 tops sold – flebay
719. plastic mailing bag from stash reused on above
720 – 721. 2 towels (faded) to vets
722 – 741. Items (mostly toys or just ‘things’) from DS2’s room to bin/ recycling
742. pile of paper from DS2’s room to recycling
743. pack of 6 cans of tonic water given to my mum
744. sticker book – recycling
745 – 746. 2 books to CS
747. Book given to nephew
748.dried up mustard BBE 09/2018 to food bin, jar recycled
749. broken pencil case – bin
750. broken large storage bag – bin
I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soulRepaid mtge early (orig 11/25) 01/09 £124616 01/11 £89873 01/13 £52546 01/15 £12133 07/15 £NILNet sales 2024: £208 -
1. KITCHEN WILL CONTINUE TO BE LEFT CLEAN & TIDY EVERY NIGHT2. JUST DO ONE THING EVERY DAY (courtesy of bit_by_bit) OTHER THAN DAY TO DAY CLEANING & DECLUTTERING
3. ONCE A WEEK LEAVE THE HOUSE (e.g. Go into city centre for bank & butcher; go to local town for cs dropping off or buying; visit the pub with DH 😉When DH got back from sm I packed everything away immediately including tins etc - usually only pack away fridge & freezer stuff 😔 I was generous enough to let DH have 40 minutes or so in his office 😉 before we started on the garage 😉 First task was to locate & sort out all the odd bits of wood into useable for projects & non useable for the Tip. Ended up with 4 seed bags full of scrap wood & 2 bags for projects. Also had a broken garden fork, broken garden edger & an unusable lawn aerator. DH used a metal saw & dismantled all 3 - we now have 3 metal pole handles for Justin plus all the metal bits in a bag ready for Tip trip/s. Also found several items which have been moved to the now sorted shed 🥳🙂 where they belong 😉 and 6, yes SIX cardboard boxes which I dismantled & put in recycling bin which was emptied Thursday a.m. 👏
4 more blackberries harvested - a tad sour 😬 Dinner was salad using hg lettuce. Wudupa.
DSis watered the garden 👏 Vegetable box was delivered & all vegetables immediately stored as appropriate 😉1387 - 1395 Kitchen recycling, 6 cardboard boxes, cardboard packaging, drinks cans - recycled1396 - 1397 Kitchen detritus, garage detritus - binned1398 - 1403 Edger head, fork head, 4 bags rubbish wood - TipThursday is another scorcher 🥵 Seems hotter as the sky is a hazy blue & there is not a single cloud in the sky. However, very occasionally there is a slight cooling breeze 🙂
DH has made 2 trips to the Tip - 3 bags of wood & the edging tool head & fork head are now gone 👏 I have dealt with my post & have also pruned my tomato plants. I am writing down the plan for the afternoon, so as to encourage me to do something in this heat 😉so shore up the tomato plants, move excess large tomato plants from the caged raised bed & plant in pots, bags etc, harvest potatoes & chard. I need to spend time blanching & freezing cabbage, chard & pak choi + cooking up butternut squash for freezer 😔
Fingers crossed that I do at least some of the tasks 🤞🤞Great work Finstickle 👏 and good for you to only have clothes & underclothes that you love - you are worth it 🙂Excellent work Happy_Kitties 👏 So close with the neutral items but still a marvellous job 👏 Wow, destroying toothbrushes by brushing your teeth - that must be an entry for the Guinness Book of Records 😉EnergyShifter what a long day 😬 Even with your DS’s clutter you must be pleased that he is home for a while 😉🙂Back later as DH is chivvying me along to do stuff 😉🙄MrsSD 🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅 🥇 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Decluttering Target: 2021 1403/20212021 Savings Pot: £225.90 to end of JulyBe Kind. Stay Safe. Break the Chain. Save Lives.2024 Savings Pot Challenge: As a monthly amount, running total = £116.85
Jan £5; Feb £13; Mch £25; Apr £31:65; May £42.20; Jun £??; July £??; Aug £??; Sep £??; Oct £??; Nov £??; Dec £??. Grand Total £??7 -
Poot MrSD. Hope he doesn't develop a cold. The garage is one of our next jobs.
R< Hoarding. As someone who is a hoarder though not severe for me there are a few reasons:
The first are psychological: a wall of protection in books and other items. Feelings of anxiety when getting them out of the house.
Second: I had nothing much as a child and hate waste so will take everyone elses stuff and rehome it. It used to sit in my house but I have been able to help so many people over the last few years finding the right place for things to go that it is a lot easier.
Three: I was never taught how to let things go. AS DD was growing and she got stuff come in the house she had a sort out every 3 -6 months and can easily live in one room now.
I knew I had too much stuff but kept getting more, rescuing from the bin at the CS, buying stuff I liked but didn't need and just not getting rid. I think the first step is acceptance; you know that it is doing you no good mentally and physically, or your marriage.Then deciding what to do with items. My thing has been letting go purposefully; thankyou for your advice on that @vulpix. I havehelped so many people directing recources e.g camping equipment, charitys shop stuff. I have been at it for several years now, Rome not being built in a day. I am almost at the point of having people over which will be a big first for me.
Everything that comes from others now is sorted anbd out again withing a week. I buy with a view to giving away or selling, rarely for keeping. I womble but purposefully.
What @mothernerd quoted about 'fantasy you'. really struck a chord. I am sticking to one project at a time these days and slowly letting go of my craft supplies.
So to end, I happily sold a wombled item yesterday, a terracotta chimnea so one large item out. Very nice. Half is going to my travel fund but the other half divided between MIND and a local homelessness charity. Another few items have gone on to local free selling sites.
I have also decided that I may give up my allotment and move in with a friend a few plots up. She has a huge plot and struggles. I could do all I need to do with half of hers. She is thinkiong about it. It will save both of us some money, she will have a shed out of it and it. A big decisoin for me but I think it will work.
Wife, mother, gardener, nurse, Big C survivor. Officially retired at 55 2021 [/b][/b].Mortgage free April 2021Challenges 2024: Decluttering Campaign 32/100 bags plus 0 large items. Make £2024 in 2024#8 £0/£2024 Using my craft stash 0/52 Reading books 0/52 Donations for the CS/washing done from others (in and outs) in 2024 x 10 bags and 0 large items.12 -
Some very wise words from everyone in the last few days. Even if we are lucky enough not to be real hoarders I think it is important to acknowledge that stuff comes with emotional baggage and we need to acknowledge that and come to terms with what we are keeping and why. I find letting go purposefully is a great help. Late DH had loads of photography stuff and expensive cameras. He chose to deal with most of his non family photos once he knew he was not getting better - I know it was so hard for him to do. We agreed to sell his kit and the proceeds would go to his choice of two charities once he was gone - my brother helped me deal with this and it was not too hard as I knew I had DH's consent. This was quite a lot of money but somehow it was easier than the odd ornament he liked but I was not keen on etc. He did a lot of walking and hiking and a large box of ordnance survey maps was gratefully received by a youth group leader. I have decided on a few types of items/ornaments I really like to keep - including Swar** glass, old glasses, some lovely vases and glass animals. I also like the various wooden boxes we have but I think other things can go with my blessing.
Like many I had very few things as a child particularly books but I have reduced my collection steadily over the last few years. DGS1 was happy to take a few classics which he has on his reading list for 6th form college. He shares an allotment with his other grandfather and they find that is adequate for both homes.
I used to do lots of craft when children were young but I know I am not going to do it again so only basic sewing materials will be kept. I think one of the nice things about decluttering and tidying is I have space not only to put things away but also to store things I am still not sure about - it is out of sight but I know where it is and what is in the box and can deal with it when I am ready.
I treated my self to a nice dinner service, secondhand, to replace the 'best' plain white MrA set for when I have visitors and special occasions. I have been using a non matching selection of china in the kitchen and I now feel ready to replace that with the Mr A white set - three sets down to two makes sense so that may be my next big move. I reduced my glasses by another third and like to use my nice ones rather than saving them for 'what I don't know'.
Very hot this evening but I have a zoom talk at 7.30 which I am looking forward to. I may take myself swimming in the morning and sit in the jacuzzi as I have no small people until Monday. I have some admin frogs to deal with tomorrow and I may email BG again. I could also do with a quick clean (the house not me) but it is so hot. I changed my bed yesterday - putting king size cover on again at midnight was a struggle but it was nice to have a fresh bed.
1327 More weeds to recycling before bin emptied
1328 Quiz done and questions to recycling
1329 Fridge clear out
1330 Courgettes from garden sliced up and frozen (6 bags)
1331 Shredding for myself and DIL.
1332 Slippers out
I found a couple of very small pork boneless chops in freezer so had those for tea with some of my potato and swede mash from freezer. Went to large Tesco which was a chaotic mess - lots of stuff and staff everywhere. I did buy some new slippers as my old ones smell vaguely like teenage boy trainers. Old ones in bin as soon as I got home.2024 Decluttering Campaign 536/2024 🏅🏅🏅🏅⭐️
2024 Weight loss target 0/28 lbs
2024 1p challenge 126/366 days Total £115.4210 -
yay – go fantasy lives!This is mine! Well, not quite but I did stay cool, with feet up all day pretending I was on my cruise 😃
I’m becoming fantasy Me - I always wanted to be the woman who had the confidence to eat alone in a restaurant and I’ve been doing that. Next spring, I will be doing it in the Med and if I enjoy it, I could pick up again in the autumn.
I’m starting to enjoy that I have no one to care for, just a cat! 🐈⬛ 🧙♀️
I used to wonder what People did with themselves all day when they retired now I can’t imagine going back to work.These last couple of weeks, fantasy Me has had gorgeous laundry off the line, folded and put away the same day! 😂😂😂
Dreams can come true. Big or small!Disclaimer: don’t take advice from me. Impulsive is my middle name 😂😂10
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