Really confused about what I want :(

Thrugelmir

danlightbulb said:

Thanks for the replies. I know Ive been over some of this ground before here and Im no further forward. I just feel completely stuck.

Is there someone that view properties with you?  Two pairs of eyes are better than one as they say.  

Tiglet2

Danlightbulb, you have acknowledged that you need to compromise.  
Out of these two properties, which one would you prefer?
A.  Property 1 - semi-detached with off road parking with no spare room for the piano in DY4 and nice area, but no garage and no shed (though you could add an extension and shed later)
B.  Property 2 - detached with off road parking, garage, shed and a spare room for the piano, but not in DY4 and the area not as desirable.

ElizabethRose

I think you need to seriously reassess. You mention your age and seem panicked and a long list of non negotiables.

Not everyone has to own their own home, there is nothing wrong with renting. Your budget is clearly not big enough for your wants so you have to compromise which you seem unwilling to actually do. 

danlightbulb

Tiglet2 said:

I don't know why I'm replying to this thread either, but here goes:

Typically, first time buyers do not get their dream house, they get what they can afford with the hope of moving in a few years to a more suitable property.  You are only 40, you can buy something now and something better in 5 years time and still get a 25 year mortgage.  By then, you may have met someone which could make affordability/budget a little easier, who knows?

Reading your summary, I have linked to the following properties which do meet the majority of your criteria, except that I don't know the area and therefore cannot comment on how "rough" these locations are.

I am also struggling to understand why a search area greater than DY4 + 1 mile means that you'll be alone.  It would take no more than a 10 minute drive to visit friends and family if you were just a couple of miles further away, but yet you've dismissed properties before that have fallen outside your preferred location.  We are not suggesting moving to Worcester after all (though I have family there and it is lovely!)

https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9590769/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9333382/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9583852/

I do feel that what I buy now is going to be it. I know 40 is not old but I'm tired of the hassle and just want to be settled. The middle one of those is about the best, the Tipton detached is not in a nice place, and the Coseley semi-detached I would be always conscious of noise for the neighbours if I did have a piano (and that is my dream thing to have which I can't give up on).

Whilst the distance of the Bilston detached is not far away, its far enough to make it awkward to just pop to the pub with my friends. If Im far enough away to not be in walking distance, I may as well be 30 miles away it makes no difference. With that in mind, there are better places I could live.

bouicca21 said:

How often do you meet up with this group of friends?  Every night? Once a week? Once a month? Are they heavy drinking sessions or just a pint or two?  Have you thought about meeting up elsewhere?  The answer to those questions factors into the taxi costs.

What efforts are you prepared to make in order to find new friends?  How do you fill the rest of your leisure time (apart from playing the piano)?

Weekly normally Sundays, but sometimes other nights too. Its never just one or two. My other main hobby is mountain biking, which I have to drive for (mostly I ride at Cannock Chase but occasionally have trips to Wales). I also do some walking/hiking/camping. Not hobbies which are well suited to built up Tipton area really are they. Neither is piano, I personally know no-one else who owns one and there are no pubs near me that do any live music. I dated someone from Kings Heath last year, and that place was great for live music and pubs. But I can't get that where I live now and I wouldn't know anyone over that way, plus the house prices are crazier than here, being close to Birmingham. I hear Lichfield is nice for old fashioned pubs too.

Tiglet2 said:

Danlightbulb, you have acknowledged that you need to compromise.  
Out of these two properties, which one would you prefer?
A.  Property 1 - semi-detached with off road parking with no spare room for the piano in DY4 and nice area, but no garage and no shed (though you could add an extension and shed later)
B.  Property 2 - detached with off road parking, garage, shed and a spare room for the piano, but not in DY4 and the area not as desirable.

I would prefer B but I wouldn't be confident I was making the right decision and I would struggle to go through with it in case it was a mistake.

Thrugelmir said:

Is there someone that view properties with you?  Two pairs of eyes are better than one as they say.  

Sometimes I ask my mom to come and its nice to have 2nd opinion but Ive found it hasn't really helped. Thing is that its me who has to be comfortable with the purchase and that is what I am really struggling with, no matter what house it is. She loved the bungalow I nearly bought before but its because it was detached, and they have had historic issues with neighbours in their house.

My problem is far more fundamental than just the house. Its the area I want to live in and what I want to give up in terms of existing family and friends, in order to get the other desirable things like access to traditional surroundings, the countryside, or community pubs.

RandomDan

Just buy this one.  Simples.  Has a nice looking pub just down the road.  3 train stations within a mile. Ticks all boxes of your initial criteria.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-73647306.html

Doozergirl

What do you live in now? 

Does it have the things you want? 

movinghelp

I know it can be hard to make friends when you’re older (even though you’re not old at all) but honestly I’ve moved cities and countries and found that you will always make friends eventually if you make an effort to listen to people and are willing a bit of initial social awkwardness. 1 mile is a crazy perimeter.

JGB1955

I can see why you would prefer a detached house - have you considered a new build?  There seem to be quite a few in DY4. 

AdrianC

danlightbulb said:
...I would be always conscious of noise for the neighbours if I did have a piano (and that is my dream thing to have which I can't give up on).

So why have you ruled out an electronic piano plus headphones?

It would be nice if that Cosely property had a floorplan, but it looks like the small bedroom is above the front door - so no party wall with either side.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-75154689.html

RelievedSheff

danlightbulb said:

Tiglet2 said:

I don't know why I'm replying to this thread either, but here goes:

Typically, first time buyers do not get their dream house, they get what they can afford with the hope of moving in a few years to a more suitable property.  You are only 40, you can buy something now and something better in 5 years time and still get a 25 year mortgage.  By then, you may have met someone which could make affordability/budget a little easier, who knows?

Reading your summary, I have linked to the following properties which do meet the majority of your criteria, except that I don't know the area and therefore cannot comment on how "rough" these locations are.

I am also struggling to understand why a search area greater than DY4 + 1 mile means that you'll be alone.  It would take no more than a 10 minute drive to visit friends and family if you were just a couple of miles further away, but yet you've dismissed properties before that have fallen outside your preferred location.  We are not suggesting moving to Worcester after all (though I have family there and it is lovely!)

https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9590769/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9333382/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9583852/

I do feel that what I buy now is going to be it. I know 40 is not old but I'm tired of the hassle and just want to be settled. The middle one of those is about the best, the Tipton detached is not in a nice place, and the Coseley semi-detached I would be always conscious of noise for the neighbours if I did have a piano (and that is my dream thing to have which I can't give up on).

Whilst the distance of the Bilston detached is not far away, its far enough to make it awkward to just pop to the pub with my friends. If Im far enough away to not be in walking distance, I may as well be 30 miles away it makes no difference. With that in mind, there are better places I could live.

bouicca21 said:

How often do you meet up with this group of friends?  Every night? Once a week? Once a month? Are they heavy drinking sessions or just a pint or two?  Have you thought about meeting up elsewhere?  The answer to those questions factors into the taxi costs.

What efforts are you prepared to make in order to find new friends?  How do you fill the rest of your leisure time (apart from playing the piano)?

Weekly normally Sundays, but sometimes other nights too. Its never just one or two. My other main hobby is mountain biking, which I have to drive for (mostly I ride at Cannock Chase but occasionally have trips to Wales). I also do some walking/hiking/camping. Not hobbies which are well suited to built up Tipton area really are they. Neither is piano, I personally know no-one else who owns one and there are no pubs near me that do any live music. I dated someone from Kings Heath last year, and that place was great for live music and pubs. But I can't get that where I live now and I wouldn't know anyone over that way, plus the house prices are crazier than here, being close to Birmingham. I hear Lichfield is nice for old fashioned pubs too.

Tiglet2 said:

Danlightbulb, you have acknowledged that you need to compromise.  
Out of these two properties, which one would you prefer?
A.  Property 1 - semi-detached with off road parking with no spare room for the piano in DY4 and nice area, but no garage and no shed (though you could add an extension and shed later)
B.  Property 2 - detached with off road parking, garage, shed and a spare room for the piano, but not in DY4 and the area not as desirable.

I would prefer B but I wouldn't be confident I was making the right decision and I would struggle to go through with it in case it was a mistake.

Thrugelmir said:

Is there someone that view properties with you?  Two pairs of eyes are better than one as they say.  

Sometimes I ask my mom to come and its nice to have 2nd opinion but Ive found it hasn't really helped. Thing is that its me who has to be comfortable with the purchase and that is what I am really struggling with, no matter what house it is. She loved the bungalow I nearly bought before but its because it was detached, and they have had historic issues with neighbours in their house.

My problem is far more fundamental than just the house. Its the area I want to live in and what I want to give up in terms of existing family and friends, in order to get the other desirable things like access to traditional surroundings, the countryside, or community pubs.

Unless you are willing to compromise on something then you may as well resign yourself to the fact that you will be renting forever.

You can not afford what you want in the tiny area that you are looking. The longer it takes you to realise that the further out of reach those properties that might be suitable a little further afield are becoming.

You will miss the boat if you don't come to your senses soon.