Really confused about what I want :(

danlightbulb

Lover_of_Lycra said:

!!!!!! being more than a mile from your desired location won’t mean you’re alone. What you want doesn’t exist on your budget. You will need to compromise and starting another thread isn’t going to change that.  

What I meant was if I bite the bullet and move much further away, to get the better location, then I would be alone.

I need to compromise but on what? I feel the choice I have is to buy a poor house that I will immediately hate, or do nothing.

Slithery

Then do nothing.

The answer is the same as in your last thread, none of us can decide on which compromises you should make, it's up to you...

[Deleted User]

danlightbulb said:

Lover_of_Lycra said:

!!!!!! being more than a mile from your desired location won’t mean you’re alone. What you want doesn’t exist on your budget. You will need to compromise and starting another thread isn’t going to change that.  

What I meant was if I bite the bullet and move much further away, to get the better location, then I would be alone.

I need to compromise but on what? I feel the choice I have is to buy a poor house that I will immediately hate, or do nothing.

What is much further away? 2 miles, 5 miles, 100 miles? 

Why are your choices only binary?

More importantly why am I wasting my time replying to this thread?  

danlightbulb

Lover_of_Lycra said:

danlightbulb said:

Lover_of_Lycra said:

!!!!!! being more than a mile from your desired location won’t mean you’re alone. What you want doesn’t exist on your budget. You will need to compromise and starting another thread isn’t going to change that.  

What I meant was if I bite the bullet and move much further away, to get the better location, then I would be alone.

I need to compromise but on what? I feel the choice I have is to buy a poor house that I will immediately hate, or do nothing.

What is much further away? 2 miles, 5 miles, 100 miles? 

Why are your choices only binary?

More importantly why am I wasting my time replying to this thread?  

I have to go 30+ miles away to see a change in the types and quality of houses within my budget, places like Telford, Stoke, Worcester. They are nice places to live Im sure, but I'd be leaving everything behind. It's an idea that has its attractions but I can't bring myself to do it.

I would hope you are replying because I am genuinely desperate not knowing what to do. I'm not trying to annoy anyone, I don't have anyone I can talk this all through with who understands enough about the topic. I'm searching for any scrap of insight I can find that would help me take a new direction or be more happy making certain compromises over others.

Salemicus

I try and view lots of houses that meet some of my criteria, but the ones I like are so much in demand here that often I don't even get a viewing before its sold, or I do view and there is an issue with it that really should mean the price comes down but it still sells almost immediately and I don't get chance to negotiate.

If a house sells almost immediately, then it was at or very near the asking price. Clearly it was priced taking into account any such issue. What do you mean "negotiate"? Do you put in offers that get rejected?

If you want to live in this area long-term, it makes financial sense to buy. If you do buy, you need to look at the good points of a property, not just its drawbacks. In your previous thread, you were trying to future-proof against all kinds of possible eventualities - forget about it. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Buy a house you love now, and if one day you'd like a bigger garden for children one day, move. This is a (2nd time around) starter home, not necessarily your forever home.

Some obvious compromises:

• The house doesn't need space for car repair. Buy or rent a garage nearby for that if need be.
• Your driveway doesn't need to be large enough for your guests to park on. That's not an everyday occurrence (and the annoyance isn't to you, anyway). They can park on the street.
• The house doesn't need to have a secure outbuilding for bike storage. You can build that.
• If your friends are all within DY4 + 1 mile, you can surely be within DY4 + 3 miles.

But these are just so obvious that I don't think you are serious about compromising.

Slithery

danlightbulb said:

`I have to go 30+ miles away to see a change in the types and quality of houses within my budget, places like Telford, Stoke, Worcester. They are nice places to live Im sure, but I'd be leaving everything behind.

30 miles is nothing. I live further than that from all of my friends and family and it isn't a problem.

danlightbulb said:

I don't have anyone I can talk this all through with who understands enough about the topic.

There is nothing to 'understand', you just need to compromise in some way which you seem unwilling to do.

Ungnome

I dont think anyone can help you with this more than they have tried already. 
 You need to accept that your budget will not get you what you ideally want, so you need to decide what the most important requirements are,  and accept you will need to make a compromise. Also realise that this also may not be your forever home, and you may get a house that meets all your requirements one day.
 Either that or accept that buying isnt for you and scrap the idea all together.

 The house I have isn't what I originally set out looking for, but I realised I wasn't going to get my perfect house. In the end I went for location over size etc, as that was more important to me.

 So you need to decide, what is more important to you?

danlightbulb

Salemicus said:

I try and view lots of houses that meet some of my criteria, but the ones I like are so much in demand here that often I don't even get a viewing before its sold, or I do view and there is an issue with it that really should mean the price comes down but it still sells almost immediately and I don't get chance to negotiate.

If a house sells almost immediately, then it was at or very near the asking price. Clearly it was priced taking into account any such issue. What do you mean "negotiate"? Do you put in offers that get rejected?

If you want to live in this area long-term, it makes financial sense to buy. If you do buy, you need to look at the good points of a property, not just its drawbacks. In your previous thread, you were trying to future-proof against all kinds of possible eventualities - forget about it. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Buy a house you love now, and if one day you'd like a bigger garden for children one day, move. This is a (2nd time around) starter home, not necessarily your forever home.

Some obvious compromises:

• The house doesn't need space for car repair. Buy or rent a garage nearby for that if need be.
• Your driveway doesn't need to be large enough for your guests to park on. That's not an everyday occurrence (and the annoyance isn't to you, anyway). They can park on the street.
• The house doesn't need to have a secure outbuilding for bike storage. You can build that.
• If your friends are all within DY4 + 1 mile, you can surely be within DY4 + 3 miles.

But these are just so obvious that I don't think you are serious about compromising.

I agree with those compromises you have listed apart from the last one which I'll come on to below. Whilst those first three are things I have on my list, they aren't really the ones stopping me buying anything at the moment. Its more fundamental - the size/layout of the living areas, the style of the house. I don't even really look at decor, as Im quite willing to put a kitchen in (done it three times before). However I don't enjoy doing bathrooms so tend to look for that to be already reasonable.

Just on the last one - the distance. I know it might seem unrealistic but all my friends that I see regularly live within a mile of each other, within DY4 postcode, and they all go to a few pubs which are fairly central to where they all live. Part of me just wants to live within walking distance of these as well. I know I can drive (can't have a drink then) or have a taxi (cost does add up) but as I'm getting older I just have a desire to have this sense of closer community with my friends and local pub. I know this will feel like a completely unimportant thing to people and if I think objectively about it, it shouldn't be important to me either but my mind won't let go of it.

Tiglet2

danlightbulb said:

In summary:

• I'm looking to buy in a house very close to my existing location. I live alone, and my family and friends are all in quite a small area (DY4 +1 mile), and I have a desire to be close to them.
• I drive, and like to work on my own car from time to time, so a driveway, ideally a flat one, is a very high priority.
• I have bicycles, and a few tools etc to go with them, so a secure garage or relatively substantial outbuilding is a very high priority.
• I play the piano, and so a house with enough space to put this is a very high priority. It's also not very fair on the neighbours if I put it against a party wall, which requires a certain layout of house if I go for a semi (ideally one where the main living areas are on the opposite sides of the house, rather than having the living rooms adjoining which most houses are). I generally can't afford detached, there have been one or two come up but they had issues.
• Because I live alone, I'd like to be somewhere I can get out to socialise eg a local nice pub I can make friends with. Ive seen a couple of houses which fit my size criteria but they were further away and had no amenities near them.
• When I travel into Birmingham to meet work friends (pre-Covid obviously), its good to be within walking distance of the main train routes, (which DY4 is), otherwise it gets too expensive to make these trips by taxis.

I don't know why I'm replying to this thread either, but here goes:

Typically, first time buyers do not get their dream house, they get what they can afford with the hope of moving in a few years to a more suitable property.  You are only 40, you can buy something now and something better in 5 years time and still get a 25 year mortgage.  By then, you may have met someone which could make affordability/budget a little easier, who knows?

Reading your summary, I have linked to the following properties which do meet the majority of your criteria, except that I don't know the area and therefore cannot comment on how "rough" these locations are.

I am also struggling to understand why a search area greater than DY4 + 1 mile means that you'll be alone.  It would take no more than a 10 minute drive to visit friends and family if you were just a couple of miles further away, but yet you've dismissed properties before that have fallen outside your preferred location.  We are not suggesting moving to Worcester after all (though I have family there and it is lovely!)

https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9590769/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9333382/
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/9583852/

bouicca21

How often do you meet up with this group of friends?  Every night? Once a week? Once a month? Are they heavy drinking sessions or just a pint or two?  Have you thought about meeting up elsewhere?  The answer to those questions factors into the taxi costs.

What efforts are you prepared to make in order to find new friends?  How do you fill the rest of your leisure time (apart from playing the piano)?