Really confused about what I want :(

danlightbulb

Thanks all for the time taken to reply and those who have looked at RM for my area. I'll try to respond to all of them.

RandomDan said:

Just buy this one.  Simples.  Has a nice looking pub just down the road.  3 train stations within a mile. Ticks all boxes of your initial criteria.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-73647306.html

This was one of the ones that sold before I could get to view it. Still doesn't say sold on the advert. Dubberley gets 90% of the houses for sale round here, and I'm getting really fed up of phoning them up.

Doozergirl said:
What do you live in now? 

Does it have the things you want? 

Ive been renting this house for 10 years now. Its a semi detached. It does have some positives. Its in a quiet cul de sac, so its quite peaceful here with no through traffic. I have a drive and garage. The house is very small, it just has one 5x4m living room with the stairs directly in it and I have to cram everything in this one room. I cant have a real piano here because its not fair on the neighbour. The kitchen is small and cramped. Upstairs one main bedroom and one small one which at the moment is used for storage mostly for my camping gear. Small garden, north facing and very overshadowed by buildings so it doesn't get any sun, but its not overlooked so its private. So all in all its not bad, I could do with more living space here but it terms of location, condition and privacy its fairly good. Its not within walking distance of the pubs me and my friends visit but its fairly close that someone is happy to pick me up, or i get a very cheap taxi. Its also walkable to the station.

JGB1955 said:

I can see why you would prefer a detached house - have you considered a new build?  There seem to be quite a few in DY4. 

New builds tend to be out of my price range. There is one set of new builds currently on RM but they seem very small and are not in a good spot.

AdrianC said:

danlightbulb said:
...I would be always conscious of noise for the neighbours if I did have a piano (and that is my dream thing to have which I can't give up on).

So why have you ruled out an electronic piano plus headphones?

It would be nice if that Cosely property had a floorplan, but it looks like the small bedroom is above the front door - so no party wall with either side.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-75154689.html

I have reached a level of playing where a digital is holding me back now. I already own a fairly high end digital, and a high end digital is about £4,000 and a good real upright piano can be had for £5,000. I already have the money for it saved up, on top of my house deposit. I really don't want to try and put a piano upstairs, it partly defeats the purpose (a piano as well as an instrument would be a centerpiece like a piece of high end furniture). Plus if its upstairs I would be less likely to have a quick practice every time I pass by it. These may feel like unreasonable excuses to you but its not something I am willing to compromise on. What's the point in bothering if you have to hide away your prized possession, it would be like having a classic car and keeping it permanently under a sheet.

DCFC79 said:

danlightbulb said:

Hi all,
I've been here a few times going back and forth. Finding that needle in a haystack house for my budget, and even then it not being quite right.
I'm really struggling with what to compromise on and there are good reasons for every factor.

In summary:

• I'm looking to buy in a house very close to my existing location. I live alone, and my family and friends are all in quite a small area (DY4 +1 mile), and I have a desire to be close to them.
• I drive, and like to work on my own car from time to time, so a driveway, ideally a flat one, is a very high priority.
• I have bicycles, and a few tools etc to go with them, so a secure garage or relatively substantial outbuilding is a very high priority.
• I play the piano, and so a house with enough space to put this is a very high priority. It's also not very fair on the neighbours if I put it against a party wall, which requires a certain layout of house if I go for a semi (ideally one where the main living areas are on the opposite sides of the house, rather than having the living rooms adjoining which most houses are). I generally can't afford detached, there have been one or two come up but they had issues.
• Because I live alone, I'd like to be somewhere I can get out to socialise eg a local nice pub I can make friends with. Ive seen a couple of houses which fit my size criteria but they were further away and had no amenities near them.
• When I travel into Birmingham to meet work friends (pre-Covid obviously), its good to be within walking distance of the main train routes, (which DY4 is), otherwise it gets too expensive to make these trips by taxis.

Ok just my thoughts here
1 being very important and 6 being least important
In what order would you put the above 6 requirements.

You mention a relationship, dont have that in the back of your mind, dont try to accomodate a possible relationship into buying a property. Buy what YOU like/want to now.
Have you spoken to anymore estate agents ?

The driveway is most important, I simply do not want the hassle of having to battle for parking outside my own house.
Then second place is the right layout and living space so that I can have the piano I want.
Third is either that the house already has, or has the space to build, a secure outbuilding. I would prefer a brick garage connected to the house but i wouldn't be able to afford to get one built (£10k approx) as I won't have the capital after buying.
I didn't mention privacy but I cannot stand being overlooked and to have lots of surrounding noise, so that is also equal 1st.

scottishblondie said:

RandomDan said:

Just buy this one.  Simples.  Has a nice looking pub just down the road.  3 train stations within a mile. Ticks all boxes of your initial criteria.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-73647306.html

I was going to suggest this one:
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-71114094.html

Just round the corner, almost the same layout and £30k cheaper.  It doesn't have a ready made drive, but the neighbours have already added one at the front and there appears to be rear access and a garage at the end of the garden.

But given that OP has exactly the same access to Rightmove as we do, I don't expect suggesting properties to him is actually going to help...

I have had a hassle with that house over the summer. It came on the market in early summer I think, and I immediately called to get a viewing because I really liked it. The estate agent (Dubberley again) kept telling me the woman was ill and was refusing to do viewings. I phoned up every week for about 4 weeks asking about it, then it vanished off the market. I had some time off from looking at houses over the last month or so and when I looked again last week it had come back on, now at a different price. I called up and was told it had sold. This is the kind of hassle I am having to put up with when a good house comes on the market and its annoying as hell.

dramaticat said:

You have asked for help in making compromises, but compromising seems to be the one thing you are not able to do, for whatever reason. People have offered you constructive practical approaches to consider, but I don't think that's the help you need, and I wouldn't presume to try and tell you what might help. I assume that the house you rent currently works on some level, so I think you will just have to continue living in it in the hope that the "right" house will eventually come on the market.

I understand the importance of location and that big decisions like this can be affected by more than just practical decisions. I have been thinking of selling my house for the last three years but only took the plunge and did so this summer. I tell people it's because it's too big for me (5 bedrooms), which it will be when I get really old, but the main reason for moving is that it has too many memories after my husband died. So lots of emotional stuff in play in my transaction too.

I believe I already am compromising, and the things that are left now are pretty fundamental things that no-one should have to compromise on. For example a driveway and a reasonably sized living space, pretty fundamental issues. Its not like I'm chasing a brand new kitchen or perfectly painted magnolia walls. I would rather buy nothing and end up on the street than spend too much money on a piece of junk. I know that's extreme but its how I genuinely feel. £190k is a hell of a lot of money, and I expect to get something decent if Im spending it.

RelievedSheff

I hope you find your unicorn.

Tiglet2

danlightbulb said:

I would rather buy nothing and end up on the street than spend too much money on a piece of junk. I know that's extreme but its how I genuinely feel. £190k is a hell of a lot of money, and I expect to get something decent if Im spending it.

Everyone has to start somewhere - unfortunately with this way of thinking, I fear you never will.

danlightbulb

RelievedSheff said:

I hope you find your unicorn.

Im sorry I just don't get this. How can you say that a house with a drive, garage and a reasonably sized living space is a unicorn?

Im feel that I'm not expecting anything more than what should be considered really quite a basic/essential specification. 

It feels like people are saying, to use a car analogy, that because I can't afford to get a car with four wheels I should be happy with a motorbike.

Chandler85

Your car analogy is rubbish.  Basically you want a Range Rover, with heated seats, 4 wheel drive, blacked out windows and a pimped up engine and all the other mod cons.

Your budget can afford you a Suzuki Jimney.  You still get the car but not the one you want.

You are unwilling to buy a Jimney, but you can't afford a Range Rover, so are currently renting a Range Rover then complaining that you can't buy one.

It's simple, you cannot afford what you want, you will not make a compromise, I suggest you join Crashy waiting for market to correct itself and all house prices to plummet and you can buy your house.  Be warned, Crashy has been waiting a while already.

Tiglet2

danlightbulb said:

Im feel that I'm not expecting anything more than what should be considered really quite a basic/essential specification. 

It feels like people are saying, to use a car analogy, that because I can't afford to get a car with four wheels I should be happy with a motorbike.

Your basic/essential specification wouldn't get you a shoebox in London.  Similarly it doesn't (quite) get what you want in Tipton. Therefore location is more valuable and pricier than the size of the property.  The compromise is location versus size of property - somewhere in the middle is what you need to aim for.  If you cannot do that, then there really is no point going over and over it and wasting your own and everyone else's time.

danlightbulb

Chandler85 said:

Your car analogy is rubbish.  Basically you want a Range Rover, with heated seats, 4 wheel drive, blacked out windows and a pimped up engine and all the other mod cons.

Your budget can afford you a Suzuki Jimney.  You still get the car but not the one you want.

You are unwilling to buy a Jimney, but you can't afford a Range Rover, so are currently renting a Range Rover then complaining that you can't buy one.

It's simple, you cannot afford what you want, you will not make a compromise, I suggest you join Crashy waiting for market to correct itself and all house prices to plummet and you can buy your house.  Be warned, Crashy has been waiting a while already.

I just dont agree that what Im asking for is unreasonable. The specification I am looking for is not a luxury specification in my view, but are fundamentals. You're suggesting I compromise on the fundamentals and that is incredibly difficult to do.

trix-a-belle

fundamentals + budget + location = unobtainable for you
you don't compromise on the fundamentals, ok fair enough, but something has got to be a compromise otherwise the equation just does not work, you can't save more to increase your budget so its got to be location;
obtainable for you = budget + fundamentals + somewhere else

fiwen30

danlightbulb said:

Chandler85 said:

Your car analogy is rubbish.  Basically you want a Range Rover, with heated seats, 4 wheel drive, blacked out windows and a pimped up engine and all the other mod cons.

Your budget can afford you a Suzuki Jimney.  You still get the car but not the one you want.

You are unwilling to buy a Jimney, but you can't afford a Range Rover, so are currently renting a Range Rover then complaining that you can't buy one.

It's simple, you cannot afford what you want, you will not make a compromise, I suggest you join Crashy waiting for market to correct itself and all house prices to plummet and you can buy your house.  Be warned, Crashy has been waiting a while already.

I just dont agree that what Im asking for is unreasonable. The specification I am looking for is not a luxury specification in my view, but are fundamentals. You're suggesting I compromise on the fundamentals and that is incredibly difficult to do.

You can’t afford your ‘fundamentals’ in the place you want them. One or the other has to give, until then you’re not going to get anywhere.

danlightbulb

Tiglet2 said:

danlightbulb said:

Im feel that I'm not expecting anything more than what should be considered really quite a basic/essential specification. 

It feels like people are saying, to use a car analogy, that because I can't afford to get a car with four wheels I should be happy with a motorbike.

Your basic/essential specification wouldn't get you a shoebox in London.  Similarly it doesn't (quite) get what you want in Tipton. Therefore location is more valuable and pricier than the size of the property.  The compromise is location versus size of property - somewhere in the middle is what you need to aim for.  If you cannot do that, then there really is no point going over and over it and wasting your own and everyone else's time.

Hi, yeah I realise that. London is crazy. I do understand I am fortunate in one way to be able to buy something. But that doesn't mean I should just buy anything. Because I have certain needs, which I consider to be fairly basic really. A family with 2 kids might not be willing to settle for a 2 bed house for example. I don't care about bedrooms but I do want reasonable downstairs living space. Its a little unfair of people to say I'm unwilling to compromise I think because in my opinion Im not looking for a unicorn. Would you be saying the same to the family who wanted a 3 bed, that they can't afford it and buy a 2 bed instead? 

I think you're right that its my tight location creating issues for me overall. Im concerned/scared that if move more than a certain (small) distance away that I will feel cut off. I see moving away, even a few miles, as me giving up on one life and starting fresh.