Money Moral Dilemma: Should I still send a present if I'm not invited to the wedding?

crmism

There could be valid reasons why guests have been so limited, such as the risks of transmission during the current pandemic or size of the venue, but it's most surprising that someone as closely-related as an uncle hasn't had an invitation to either wedding or reception. It just might have been an oversight but, whatever the cause, I'm sure you'll have regrets later if you don't provide the couple with a wedding gift. It would be nice to think that the newlyweds will write a note of thanks after the honeymoon, as your brother will doubtless remind them to do as a matter of courtesy.
Don't think about the money, nor lack of an invitation; it's the thought that counts, and you can forever rest easy in your mind that you've done what was expected of you.

Pollycat

crmism said:

There could be valid reasons why guests have been so limited, such as the risks of transmission during the current pandemic or size of the venue, but it's most surprising that someone as closely-related as an uncle hasn't had an invitation to either wedding or reception. It just might have been an oversight but, whatever the cause, I'm sure you'll have regrets later if you don't provide the couple with a wedding gift. It would be nice to think that the newlyweds will write a note of thanks after the honeymoon, as your brother will doubtless remind them to do as a matter of courtesy.
Don't think about the money, nor lack of an invitation; it's the thought that counts, and you can forever rest easy in your mind that you've done what was expected of you.

From the original 'post', the OP isn't close to the bride (his/her niece).

TBH, I'm not close to 2 of my nephews either and wouldn't expect an invitation to their weddings - certainly not during covid or even in normal times.

I don't think 'closely-related' has anything to do with wedding invitations.

The post immediately before yours (on the previous page) gives a very good suggestion for guests at a limited capacity wedding - and I don't think an aunt or uncle comes anywhere near the top of the list.

Aranyani

crmism said:

There could be valid reasons why guests have been so limited, such as the risks of transmission during the current pandemic or size of the venue, but it's most surprising that someone as closely-related as an uncle hasn't had an invitation to either wedding or reception. It just might have been an oversight but, whatever the cause, I'm sure you'll have regrets later if you don't provide the couple with a wedding gift. It would be nice to think that the newlyweds will write a note of thanks after the honeymoon, as your brother will doubtless remind them to do as a matter of courtesy.
Don't think about the money, nor lack of an invitation; it's the thought that counts, and you can forever rest easy in your mind that you've done what was expected of you.

Weddings are limited to 15, I'm not sure if that includes the minister/registrar, but if it does then that is 7 for the bride's side and 7 for the groom.  So for the OP's niece her 7 is very likely to be herself (she is counted as one of the 15 I believe), her parents, any siblings (lets say 2), grandparents if they are still around and that leaves...  oops no that's 7 already!  With no space for close friends who might have been bridesmaids, cousins, siblings partners etc. 

Its very very tight numbers. 

silvercar

Aranyani said:

crmism said:

There could be valid reasons why guests have been so limited, such as the risks of transmission during the current pandemic or size of the venue, but it's most surprising that someone as closely-related as an uncle hasn't had an invitation to either wedding or reception. It just might have been an oversight but, whatever the cause, I'm sure you'll have regrets later if you don't provide the couple with a wedding gift. It would be nice to think that the newlyweds will write a note of thanks after the honeymoon, as your brother will doubtless remind them to do as a matter of courtesy.
Don't think about the money, nor lack of an invitation; it's the thought that counts, and you can forever rest easy in your mind that you've done what was expected of you.

Weddings are limited to 15, I'm not sure if that includes the minister/registrar, but if it does then that is 7 for the bride's side and 7 for the groom.  So for the OP's niece her 7 is very likely to be herself (she is counted as one of the 15 I believe), her parents, any siblings (lets say 2), grandparents if they are still around and that leaves...  oops no that's 7 already!  With no space for close friends who might have been bridesmaids, cousins, siblings partners etc. 

Its very very tight numbers. 

It includes the bride and groom but not anyone working at the wedding, so not the minister/ registrar.
DS1 was due to get married in Spring, now delayed.. with just the couple, siblings, parents and grandparents we are at 12. 4 aunts without their spouses would make it 16, but that would leave out the bridesmaid and best man! Hence the decision to delay.

Aranyani

silvercar said:

Aranyani said:

crmism said:

There could be valid reasons why guests have been so limited, such as the risks of transmission during the current pandemic or size of the venue, but it's most surprising that someone as closely-related as an uncle hasn't had an invitation to either wedding or reception. It just might have been an oversight but, whatever the cause, I'm sure you'll have regrets later if you don't provide the couple with a wedding gift. It would be nice to think that the newlyweds will write a note of thanks after the honeymoon, as your brother will doubtless remind them to do as a matter of courtesy.
Don't think about the money, nor lack of an invitation; it's the thought that counts, and you can forever rest easy in your mind that you've done what was expected of you.

Weddings are limited to 15, I'm not sure if that includes the minister/registrar, but if it does then that is 7 for the bride's side and 7 for the groom.  So for the OP's niece her 7 is very likely to be herself (she is counted as one of the 15 I believe), her parents, any siblings (lets say 2), grandparents if they are still around and that leaves...  oops no that's 7 already!  With no space for close friends who might have been bridesmaids, cousins, siblings partners etc. 

Its very very tight numbers. 

It includes the bride and groom but not anyone working at the wedding, so not the minister/ registrar.
DS1 was due to get married in Spring, now delayed.. with just the couple, siblings, parents and grandparents we are at 12. 4 aunts without their spouses would make it 16, but that would leave out the bridesmaid and best man! Hence the decision to delay.

If I was your DS I'd invite the bridesmaid and the best man and get married.  The Aunts should understand if they care about their nephew.