Money Moral Dilemma: Should I still send a present if I'm not invited to the wedding?

hwadsworth52

Of course you must.  COVID rules have ruined your nieces plans and she must be devastated.  You haven’t had to buy a new outfit or hat (that you will never wear again), paid for accommodation or taxis, etc.  Win, win, apart from your niece who won’t have the wedding celebrations she had originally planned.  Maybe it’s time to take stock and think about what’s really important. 

gloriouslyhappy

This:

hwadsworth52 said:

Of course you must.  COVID rules have ruined your nieces plans and she must be devastated.  You haven’t had to buy a new outfit or hat (that you will never wear again), paid for accommodation or taxis, etc.  Win, win, apart from your niece who won’t have the wedding celebrations she had originally planned.  Maybe it’s time to take stock and think about what’s really important. 

thedr

Yes, send the present. You were invited to the original wedding. That's the important thing. This pandemic has thrown up all sorts of heart-ache. Your niece will have a nice wedding, but not the original wedding she was hoping for. She will be forever having to think about that. And it must have been painful for her to have to cut people she wanted to come to the original wedding.  She must have been conscious that she might have upset people by doing that. Don't add to her misery and complicate things more by souring your relationship with her (and potentially your brother). Send her a present to let them know that you're wishing her and her husband/wife well. She'll probably be relieved to know that you're not angry and you'll be making her wedding day even more special. And think about all that good karma you're putting out into the world. Well worth the price of a present! 

REJP

It is not her fault the guest list is limited to 15 people.
if you had been able to attend the wedding presumably you would have given a gift.
Is there a wedding gift list that you can choose a present from?  If so, spend what you can afford and please send a present, as that will mean a lot to her and her husband, as well as your brother.

princess90

Made an account just to post. We had to cut out wedding due to covid and uninvite tons of people. Ended up with only 11 guests. Of those 11, 3 didn’t bother giving gifts. And they were our siblings. 2 disinvited guests gave gifts but none from anyone else. Tbh, I would have expected gifts as material as that may sound considering that the etiquette is that you send a gift if you are invited, not if you can attend. Give them a gift. It’s their wedding day. It’s not like it’s just a birthday party which happens every year. 

missile

Do not be mean, send a card and a gift

PurpleGoldFish

No, don’t send the present or a card. You clearly care not a jot about the niece, so much so you whinging online about sending her a present, a present that I’m assuming she mightn’t even want if you don’t have time for one another. 

Don’t bother thinking about your brother either, yes you get on with him, but not enough not to even contemplate how snubbing his daughter might make him feel. 

Give the toaster to the British Heart Foundation. 

nczm

Under usual circumstances id only send a gift if I was unable to attend or if it was a close family member, not if I wasn’t invited.
However covid has changed things & id probably have saved money on outfit, hotel, drinks & gift - so would likely send a card with £50-100 depending on how I was feeling

Helen5419

Earlier this year my great-neice's May wedding was postponed, I'd' already bought a gift from the well-known shop list for them. When the rearranged wedding was announced for July it was a few people only, the remaining guests and other friends watched on zoom. I received the flight money back and hotel etc so went straight in and bought something more from their gift list. For goodness sake - she's family, send them money, look forward to meeting the newly weds when this is all over.

A_Lert

Send the gift. The only reason you can't come is that it's been made literally illegal for all the guests to attend.