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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I still send a present if I'm not invited to the wedding?
Comments
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My understanding is that if you get invited then you give a present even if you can't/won't attend. Since you have been uninvited you don't have to give a present but I would. You are buying goodwill from the couple and from your brother's family.1
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Most definitely1
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Yes, send a present. It will be appreciated, and may have additional positive effects.
When my wife and I got married, we received a lovely gift from my cousin who we hadn't invited (who I hadn't seen in years, and who my wife hadn't even met). Turned out to be one of my wife's favourite gifts on our big day, and paved the way for a happy relationship between my wife and that cousin when they eventually met.3 -
I'd send a gift and card. It's your niece. Be kind, be generous. You won't regret it.Please note - taken from the Forum Rules and amended for my own personal use (with thanks) : It is up to you to investigate, check, double-check and check yet again before you make any decisions or take any action based on any information you glean from any of my posts. Although I do carry out careful research before posting and never intend to mislead or supply out-of-date or incorrect information, please do not rely 100% on what you are reading. Verify everything in order to protect yourself as you are responsible for any action you consequently take.3
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Its your niece, stop being tight, send a present3
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seems like everyone is in agreement- this really was a waste of a dilemma- what do you gain by NOT sending a gift? I think only guilt. Send a harder question next time.2
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Buy yourself a ps52
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We invited 8 to our wedding, all family, we received a lovely monetary gift from my parents, which went a long way to paying for the wedding, registry office do and reception later, apart from that no presents, just 3 cards! That was it.1
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You were invited and intending to go, so whatever rules you would have operated to for that probably apply (and presumably there was a list etc?). But perhaps you could check with the bride for the best timing - if they are hoping to organise a celebration when things are different, she might suggest you wait.
(FWIW I have not sent gifts for cousins' weddings I haven't attended, invited or not, but do mark the day with a card (and try to remember the first anniversary too). Partly that is because they've not been setting up a home, I think I would make a different decision about the next generation ie nieces and nephews, but have attended those so far anyway)1 -
We had a similar situation - we sent a present to wish the couple well. They suffered enough disappointment this year, therefore, felt it was the least that we could do.1
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