son has my savings

Bravepants

Sorcerer2018 said:

Unfortunately when it comes to money you almost always see the bad side of people, having been an executer for a number of estates over the years, I have seen how family treat each other when it comes to money, it's so sad to see.

Agreed! Some people think that stealing from their own family is perfectly acceptable...horrible people!

csgohan4

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Is it fairly common for the children to refuse to hand it back then when it was specifically for 'safekeeping'?

How one child acts is different to another. Sadly more than often when money is involved it becomes messy.

General rule is only give money to relatives if you don't plan on seeing that money again

John464

masonic said:

Sadly, we can't change reality in order to give the lady a break. 

Exactly.
And it isn't helping her to give her false hopes.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

London7766551

csgohan4 said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Is it fairly common for the children to refuse to hand it back then when it was specifically for 'safekeeping'?

How one child acts is different to another. Sadly more than often when money is involved it becomes messy.

General rule is only give money to relatives if you don't plan on seeing that money again

It just requires common sense, I would not give money to a child which had money problems for example.  
And I thought my family was bad!

John464

Most people assume family will repay their debts
But, very sadly, they don't find out what they are really like until the time comes to repay them

csgohan4

London7766551 said:

csgohan4 said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Is it fairly common for the children to refuse to hand it back then when it was specifically for 'safekeeping'?

How one child acts is different to another. Sadly more than often when money is involved it becomes messy.

General rule is only give money to relatives if you don't plan on seeing that money again

It just requires common sense, I would not give money to a child which had money problems for example.  
And I thought my family was bad!

how would you know they have money problems? Do you look at their bank statements and ask them to a SOA?

People hide things well, such as affairs, gambling e.t.c. 

Just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it will work for others. 

Bare in mind if it does go wrong, it really is is bad. Whether you think it's worth that, is another matter, 

London7766551

csgohan4 said:

London7766551 said:

csgohan4 said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Is it fairly common for the children to refuse to hand it back then when it was specifically for 'safekeeping'?

How one child acts is different to another. Sadly more than often when money is involved it becomes messy.

General rule is only give money to relatives if you don't plan on seeing that money again

It just requires common sense, I would not give money to a child which had money problems for example.  
And I thought my family was bad!

how would you know they have money problems? Do you look at their bank statements and ask them to a SOA?

People hide things well, such as affairs, gambling e.t.c. 

Just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it will work for others. 

Bare in mind if it does go wrong, it really is is bad. Whether you think it's worth that, is another matter, 

It would depend how close you are to your children. Most of the time you can sense these things. 

Just because it didn't work for the OP, doesn't mean it won't work for anyone else either. 

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

eskbanker

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

London7766551

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

eskbanker

London7766551 said:

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

Having taken issue with those condemning OP's decision, it seems a pretty odd direction to start fabricating a backstory based on some irrelevant and arbitrary prejudices and preconceptions!