son has my savings

csgohan4

London7766551 said:

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

Digging yourself a larger hole is not helping you is it? 

I never mentioned the OP's class, but indeed you seem to think that you have the moral high ground and everyone else who is not in the same thinking as you as abhorrent and snobbish middle class?

Class or no class, money and family should never mix as the old adage goes. 

Sadly for the OP whatever we comment doesn't change the fact, the son is not going to give their money back and they have limited options. 

London7766551

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

Having taken issue with those condemning OP's decision, it seems a pretty odd direction to start fabricating a backstory based on some irrelevant and arbitrary prejudices and preconceptions!

Who has fabricated anything? I said it was an assumption. Please get off the high horse. 

London7766551

csgohan4 said:

London7766551 said:

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

Digging yourself a larger hole is not helping you is it? 

I never mentioned the OP's class, but indeed you seem to think that you have the moral high ground and everyone else who is not in the same thinking as you as abhorrent and snobbish middle class?

Class or no class, money and family should never mix as the old adage goes. 

Sadly for the OP whatever we comment doesn't change the fact, the son is not going to give their money back and they have limited options. 

Jesus Mary and Joseph. I am seem to have hit a nerve with an off the cuff comment which was just an assumption. What hole? what are you talking about, I don't have to try to get out of a hole. 

I have explained my reasoning above, you seem to be making incorrect links. I am working class, so I look at things in that way, I only assumed in the middle classes perhaps it is more completed or more common. I don't know why you are getting defensive. I didn't attack anyone.

csgohan4

London7766551 said:

csgohan4 said:

London7766551 said:

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

Digging yourself a larger hole is not helping you is it? 

I never mentioned the OP's class, but indeed you seem to think that you have the moral high ground and everyone else who is not in the same thinking as you as abhorrent and snobbish middle class?

Class or no class, money and family should never mix as the old adage goes. 

Sadly for the OP whatever we comment doesn't change the fact, the son is not going to give their money back and they have limited options. 

Jesus Mary and Joseph. I am seem to have hit a nerve with an off the cuff comment which was just an assumption. What hole? what are you talking about, I don't have to try to get out of a hole. 

I have explained my reasoning above, you seem to be making incorrect links. I am working class, so I look at things in that way, I only assumed in the middle classes perhaps it is more completed or more common. I don't know why you are getting defensive. I didn't attack anyone.

working class people lend money to other people all the time, be it to cover loan sharks, debt, expenses, 

you would be surprised how much working class people save up money, otherwise how would they ever buy a house I wonder?

DireEmblem

I would take a copy of your bank statement, with the transaction reference and speak this through with someone from citizens advice.

Ideally you will have a text message or something as well communicating that you were transferring the sum for safekeeping purposes.

Worst case scenario, you won't receive anything back.  To claw back some funds, you could stop any spending on them, until the value plus interest is repaid.  In addition, add a point to your will, that you transferred 16k to mr X on such and such a date, and in order to treat your family equally, wish this to be taken into account when dividing up your estate, factoring in the minimum of UK inflation, or the inflation of the FTSE All World Index over the period as the funds were not available to you to invest in something to leave for your family, and you do not want the others to lose out.

garmeg

London7766551 said:

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

How do you define working class and middle class as most people in both categories go to work

Is it income level, asset wealth, education or something else.

Millionaire Danny Baker was always going on about being working class, for example.

London7766551

garmeg said:

London7766551 said:

eskbanker said:

London7766551 said:

I do wonder what goes on in these middle class families. 

What middle class families?  What does class have to do with anything here?

Working class families don't tend to have such amounts to give someone to take care of. So I assumed it is more likely a middle class family.

My point is that, the working class is far less proud and more likely to let everyone know in directly that don't have any money etc, whereas the middle classes seem to want to maintain a public image and hide things. So it is far more likely to happen within middle class families. 

How do you define working class and middle class as most people in both categories go to work

Is it income level, asset wealth, education or something else.

Millionaire Danny Baker was always going on about being working class, for example.

Income level for the purposes of this discussion. But it really is a personal choice. But the reality is no matter how much money you have, the way you look and sound play a significant part in how people define your class.

ZeroSum

DireEmblem said:i

I would take a copy of your bank statement, with the transaction reference and speak this through with someone from citizens advice.

Ideally you will have a text message or something as well communicating that you were transferring the sum for safekeeping purposes.

Worst case scenario, you won't receive anything back.  To claw back some funds, you could stop any spending on them, until the value plus interest is repaid.  In addition, add a point to your will, that you transferred 16k to mr X on such and such a date, and in order to treat your family equally, wish this to be taken into account when dividing up your estate, factoring in the minimum of UK inflation, or the inflation of the FTSE All World Index over the period as the funds were not available to you to invest in something to leave for your family, and you do not want the others to lose out.

If I was in the OP's position, I'd write them out of the will completely for pulling a stunt like that

uk1

Bella2016 said:

back in 2916 I put 16000 in my sons bank account for him to keep for me so I didn’t use it as I wanted it for my retirement then we had a argument over my grandson in November 2019 and in March I asked my son in a text message to transfer my savings as due to the locked down coming I needed to use some of it and he messaged me back saying what money I haven’t got your money I said the 16000 I have for later in my life he denied having it then I said do your not giving it back to me 
then a few weeks after that he said it’s not my money it’s rent money that I saved for him over 5 years where he didn’t even pay that amount in rent over that time and I’m a single parent and a carer to my daughter who has special needs so why would I do this and why would I give all my savings to one of my kids and not the other 2 since then I’ve had a solicitor letter from him saying I’m lying about it’s my saving so I e gone to CBA and the lady was so lovely she helped me with a letter to his solicitor as I have mental health issues I was in hospital last year which my son knows this this is killing me how he can do this to his own mother and to the point I have so many debts I need to pay I’m sitting here with a smashed phone screen my glasses are broken with only one arm in them while my so called son sits with all my life saving doing his house up with his new girlfriend I’m heartbroken 

Sympathies.

You need to get the advice of a solicitor.  Ask the CAB if they can recommend a sympathetic one. Can one of your other children give you support?

There appears to be no dispute that he had the cash only your intentions in giving it to him.  If this goes to court it will be a matter of whose version of events the judge believes.  If you have any texts or letters either between you and him or to others about this cash it will help you.  Do not believe that you need to prove your intentions to a level of 100% certainty and that having little written evidence means your situation is impossible.  Judges are good at testing the honesty and credibility of witnesses by asking penetrating questions. If on balance the judge believes your version is the more likely then you should win.  However before you start you need to be certain that if you win then there are assets or cash that can be used to pay you back. 

Genuine sympathies and good luck.  Do post progress here and as any questions you have. 

uk1

barnstar2077 said:

Give the lady a break.  Regardless of how she arrived at this situation, she has stated that she has mental health issues and is clearly very distraught by what has happened.   I am saddened to read the replies above.

I take that back, not saddened, disgusted. 

A wise and compassionate post for which you should be thanked.

May I make the observation that you are a nice person.