son has my savings

uk1

Sorcerer2018 said:

Unfortunately when it comes to money you almost always see the bad side of people, having been an executer for a number of estates over the years, I have seen how family treat each other when it comes to money, it's so sad to see.

Albert Pierrepoint  I presume.  

ZeroSum

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Why?
The only reason really is the aforementioned benefit fraud.

Is it that common? I've never heard of it. As what you're talking about is completely different to power of attorney on an elderly relatives own bank accounts. 

John464

I wouldn't steal a relatives money
But then I don't need to because I've got plenty of my own
If they had given it to me so they could commit benefit fraud, the fraudster didn't need it and I needed it for my kids, would I be tempted to dip into it?
I would like to say No
But until you are in that situation, I don't think you really know what you would do.
I can imagine an emergency where I was tempted to dip into it.  Especially if someone else was encouraging me to do so.  And then when I had got over the hurdle of doing it once ...

London7766551

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Why?
The only reason really is the aforementioned benefit fraud.

Is it that common? I've never heard of it. As what you're talking about is completely different to power of attorney on an elderly relatives own bank accounts. 

Fraud? I don't see how it would be of benefit to hand over money to someone else. If they can see you have money, they can also see that you have sent the money somewhere else surely. 

Some relatives cannot handle money. ie if they have it they burn it. So they give it to someone else to keep hold of it. I admit it requires trust!

Well it is very common in my neck of the woods. I'd be very sad as a parent (I am not) to have such mistrust over my children.

ZeroSum

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Why?
The only reason really is the aforementioned benefit fraud.

Is it that common? I've never heard of it. As what you're talking about is completely different to power of attorney on an elderly relatives own bank accounts. 

Fraud? I don't see how it would be of benefit to hand over money to someone else. If they can see you have money, they can also see that you have sent the money somewhere else surely. 

Some relatives cannot handle money. ie if they have it they burn it. So they give it to someone else to keep hold of it. I admit it requires trust!

Well it is very common in my neck of the woods. I'd be very sad as a parent (I am not) to have such mistrust over my children.

If you have savings over £16k then you lose benefits. So yes, fraud.

Also if you've managed to accumulate that sort of sums, then you ain't the sort of person who money burns a hole in their pocket. 
I know those sort of people exist, and the handing over of cash to look after is no more than £100 a month just to make Xmas easier. 

London7766551

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Why?
The only reason really is the aforementioned benefit fraud.

Is it that common? I've never heard of it. As what you're talking about is completely different to power of attorney on an elderly relatives own bank accounts. 

Fraud? I don't see how it would be of benefit to hand over money to someone else. If they can see you have money, they can also see that you have sent the money somewhere else surely. 

Some relatives cannot handle money. ie if they have it they burn it. So they give it to someone else to keep hold of it. I admit it requires trust!

Well it is very common in my neck of the woods. I'd be very sad as a parent (I am not) to have such mistrust over my children.

If you have savings over £16k then you lose benefits. So yes, fraud.

Also if you've managed to accumulate that sort of sums, then you ain't the sort of person who money burns a hole in their pocket. 
I know those sort of people exist, and the handing over of cash to look after is no more than £100 a month just to make Xmas easier. 

I can't see how many people would commit fraud in such a way. The numbers must be very low. Lots of people only touch benefits as a last resort. They will rather burn their savings.
It would be more a case of someone being made redundant, or having some sort of win.

ZeroSum

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Why?
The only reason really is the aforementioned benefit fraud.

Is it that common? I've never heard of it. As what you're talking about is completely different to power of attorney on an elderly relatives own bank accounts. 

Fraud? I don't see how it would be of benefit to hand over money to someone else. If they can see you have money, they can also see that you have sent the money somewhere else surely. 

Some relatives cannot handle money. ie if they have it they burn it. So they give it to someone else to keep hold of it. I admit it requires trust!

Well it is very common in my neck of the woods. I'd be very sad as a parent (I am not) to have such mistrust over my children.

If you have savings over £16k then you lose benefits. So yes, fraud.

Also if you've managed to accumulate that sort of sums, then you ain't the sort of person who money burns a hole in their pocket. 
I know those sort of people exist, and the handing over of cash to look after is no more than £100 a month just to make Xmas easier. 

I can't see how many people would commit fraud in such a way. The numbers must be very low. Lots of people only touch benefits as a last resort. They will rather burn their savings.
It would be more a case of someone being made redundant, or having some sort of win.

Of course it will be low, as people on benefits don't generally have that sort of money. 
But youre still skirting around the reason for handing over large sums of cash to someone else. There's no reason to do it. The only reasons you've given for handing over cash in general are for people who wouldnt have that sort of money in the first place. 

Redundancy, you'd need that money to live on, so wouldnt hand it over if your claim about burning through savings is true. 
Winnings, potentially comes back to benefit fraud 

London7766551

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Why?
The only reason really is the aforementioned benefit fraud.

Is it that common? I've never heard of it. As what you're talking about is completely different to power of attorney on an elderly relatives own bank accounts. 

Fraud? I don't see how it would be of benefit to hand over money to someone else. If they can see you have money, they can also see that you have sent the money somewhere else surely. 

Some relatives cannot handle money. ie if they have it they burn it. So they give it to someone else to keep hold of it. I admit it requires trust!

Well it is very common in my neck of the woods. I'd be very sad as a parent (I am not) to have such mistrust over my children.

If you have savings over £16k then you lose benefits. So yes, fraud.

Also if you've managed to accumulate that sort of sums, then you ain't the sort of person who money burns a hole in their pocket. 
I know those sort of people exist, and the handing over of cash to look after is no more than £100 a month just to make Xmas easier. 

I can't see how many people would commit fraud in such a way. The numbers must be very low. Lots of people only touch benefits as a last resort. They will rather burn their savings.
It would be more a case of someone being made redundant, or having some sort of win.

Of course it will be low, as people on benefits don't generally have that sort of money. 
But youre still skirting around the reason for handing over large sums of cash to someone else. There's no reason to do it. The only reasons you've given for handing over cash in general are for people who wouldnt have that sort of money in the first place. 

Redundancy, you'd need that money to live on, so wouldnt hand it over if your claim about burning through savings is true. 
Winnings, potentially comes back to benefit fraud 

People on these forums really are condescending and judgemental. I have already cited an example of my own parents giving me money to look after. It's perfectly sound if you come into some winnings or draw on early retirement funds (before retirement) to keep a chunk of the money. In my fathers case he received around 20k from retirement funds (part of his pension), he used some of this, but being someone who has vast debts he gave me the money to look after simply because he cannot handle money. If he has the power to spend it, he would have. So I kept it in my account until he really needed it. Currently he plans to use it to purchase a van but is not ready to do so yet, so I will keep the money until then. If the money was in his account, he would spend it over time and it would be gone. Should he pay off some of his debt, yes I would agree but he doesn't want to and I am not going to try to tell him how to spend the money. I would ask people on here to have more of an open mind in these matters.

Yorkshire_Pud

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

ZeroSum said:

London7766551 said:

What's with all the condemnation of the OP's decision? It is fairly common for parents to trust their children.

In the past I have been given chunks of money (more than the OP gave) to look after. My parents trust me with their accounts. Sure I have the "power" to take all of the money and do a runner, but this is my parents money and why would I do such a thing? although I am sure it does occur. Most people have a good trusting relationship with their parents. 

Personally if I had children i'd like to think I could give them money to look after as an adult. It is fairly common as I say and if the relationship is good and normal it should be acceptable. In addition my late grandmother gave my mother rights to her account and total control of her life savings, in the event she became incapable of looking after herself, and 10 years later it happened. As I say this happens all the time, the OP was not wrong to do it assuming the relationship was very good prior to now.

To the OP, I would try to talk to your son again and apologise to his child. He is worked up but hopefully will see sense. 

Why?
The only reason really is the aforementioned benefit fraud.

Is it that common? I've never heard of it. As what you're talking about is completely different to power of attorney on an elderly relatives own bank accounts. 

Fraud? I don't see how it would be of benefit to hand over money to someone else. If they can see you have money, they can also see that you have sent the money somewhere else surely. 

Some relatives cannot handle money. ie if they have it they burn it. So they give it to someone else to keep hold of it. I admit it requires trust!

Well it is very common in my neck of the woods. I'd be very sad as a parent (I am not) to have such mistrust over my children.

If you have savings over £16k then you lose benefits. So yes, fraud.

Also if you've managed to accumulate that sort of sums, then you ain't the sort of person who money burns a hole in their pocket. 
I know those sort of people exist, and the handing over of cash to look after is no more than £100 a month just to make Xmas easier. 

I can't see how many people would commit fraud in such a way. The numbers must be very low. Lots of people only touch benefits as a last resort. They will rather burn their savings.
It would be more a case of someone being made redundant, or having some sort of win.

Of course it will be low, as people on benefits don't generally have that sort of money. 
But youre still skirting around the reason for handing over large sums of cash to someone else. There's no reason to do it. The only reasons you've given for handing over cash in general are for people who wouldnt have that sort of money in the first place. 

Redundancy, you'd need that money to live on, so wouldnt hand it over if your claim about burning through savings is true. 
Winnings, potentially comes back to benefit fraud 

People on these forums really are condescending and judgemental. I have already cited an example of my own parents giving me money to look after. It's perfectly sound if you come into some winnings or draw on early retirement funds (before retirement) to keep a chunk of the money. In my fathers case he received around 20k from retirement funds (part of his pension), he used some of this, but being someone who has vast debts he gave me the money to look after simply because he cannot handle money. If he has the power to spend it, he would have. So I kept it in my account until he really needed it. Currently he plans to use it to purchase a van but is not ready to do so yet, so I will keep the money until then. If the money was in his account, he would spend it over time and it would be gone. Should he pay off some of his debt, yes I would agree but he doesn't want to and I am not going to try to tell him how to spend the money. I would ask people on here to have more of an open mind in these matters.

Couldn’t your father use the pension lump sum to pay off some of his ‘vast debts’ as you describe instead of giving the money to you for safe keeping. Might count as a lifetime gift in HMRCs eyes.

Yorkshire_Pud

OP could have just handed her debit card in her name and account details to her son and then ask for money as and when.  Money transferred to family members is usually classed as a gift for estate purposes by HMRC unless it is owed to settle a bill.