First Steps to Solvency

getmore4less

On the deal  were effectively asking the FIL to be a guarantor at a lower rate that  commercial lenders saw the risk. 

Maybe you offered the same rate? 

theoretica

ryanm8655 said:

Money is no good when you’re dead, need to enjoy life as well. Where do you draw the line? Let’s say you’re in your 70s, have £100k in savings, no mortgage and £2k surplus every month so are continuing to accumulate savings. Do you live a little then?

Hopefully you have been living life all along - it doesn't revolve around spending money for everyone.  Take my parents, who are not far off your example - they like their holidays, but actually prefer a B&B or similar with a local host in an area with interesting ruins or landscape to a fancy impersonal hotel and resort with 'facilities'.  The price doesn't really enter into their calculations, because what they want is easily affordable.

warby68

Catching up.
Really hope you managed the apology  - the Pumpkin Patch Hissy Fit can become a family legend, at your expense perhaps but a bit of self-deprecation goes a long way.
Roll on new budget

alt80

@DayDreamerandGeneralWaster Lol it’s not quite that bad. Yeah most of my life stories do start with ‘remember when I bought x y z’ haha. Lot of fun and don’t get the experiences through never spending tbh. 

Pumpkin rage wasn’t my finest moment haha.

@Jellytotts I’m sorry to hear about your husband and income but glad you have learned to live through it and are happy. I’m not in a massive amount of danger for lines of credit drying up or needing to drastically change my lifestyle - which isn’t extravagant now I’m working to the budget. Not going to pretend I’m thrilled about that though. 

@getmore4less I offered slightly less (needs to be a win for me too lol) but still a lot more than sitting around doing nothing. Literally no risk for him as I exited onto a mortgage for any I kept as BTLs. Some were just little flip deals - sub £100k places requiring basic overhauls and were sold within 6 months of buying. His loss ultimately so won’t be losing any sleep over it but still ridiculous and just an example of his pettiness - doesn’t like me so won’t even help me out despite being married to his daughter and make a few quid in the process lol.

@warby68 Pumpkin rage again FML lol.

Yeah apologised to in-laws for losing it last week but I lost it again when he insulted me over a planned birthday treat for son saying he’ll pay because he knows I’m ‘financially struggling’ in front of BIL who asked if my business was ok and FIL had to give the ‘lives on the never never’ trump card. Won’t be going back after that.

strawb_shortcake

@getmore4less I offered slightly less (needs to be a win for me too lol) but still a lot more than sitting around doing nothing. Literally no risk for him as I exited onto a mortgage for any I kept as BTLs. Some were just little flip deals - sub £100k places requiring basic overhauls and were sold within 6 months of buying. His loss ultimately so won’t be losing any sleep over it but still ridiculous and just an example of his pettiness - doesn’t like me so won’t even help me out despite being married to his daughter and make a few quid in the process lol.

I think you sometimes read more into a situation than is intended. Presumably £100k is an awful lot of money for FIL, in fairness it's a lot of money for anyone. 
There are countless stories on here about family and finances not mixing, and it's rarely a good idea. 
I wouldn't invest my life savings into one of my children's business never mind a partner of theirs. 

And with Jellytots comments, I think what she was trying to demonstrate that life throws us a curve ball from time to time, that can turn our lives upside down and we can all be hit financially without warning. 
My Husband had a massive Heart attack last year, aged 41. No warning, no idea why his only risk factor was smoking and he wasn't even a heavy smoker. He was incredibly lucky to survive. From a financial perspective we were okay, he didn't work and all our finances are based on one wage, the critical illness payout was a nice to have. But a few different financial choices then we would have been up the creek

alt80

@annabanana82 He would have needed to have zero involvement and I wouldn’t have treated the money any differently to a bridge - no desire to keep his money. Just a nice little JV opp which should have been a winner for the both of us but no.

I am quite aware of being hit financially without or with little warning - if you’ve never had a project go over budget or hit something unforeseen once have you even been in the property game haha?! Tbf I understand you and Jellytotts are talking about health / freak accidents. I’m not downplaying that but you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, what are you going to do? Never leave your house? Never take any risk whatsoever? Never have any fun with your money? As harsh as this sounds - that’s life, awful things happen often to people who don’t deserve it. If I had a heart attack / freak accident tomorrow would I financially be in a good place? Probably not great but not as bad as someone reliant on a full time employed position who couldn’t fulfil their contract tbh. Would my income take a hit - yes undoubtedly but not to the extent of a lot of people’s. Business would all become more passive so less profit directly into my pocket but I wouldn’t be reliant on state benefits and living in a council house. 

getmore4less

Never having fun with your money...... 

Problem is you have been having fun with money you don't have. 

I suspect your FIL has known for years you have been living ahead of your income. 


If you want more income you need bigger business, growth first. 

If you want to pull out £10k a month work out how much bigger you need the business.

warby68

I'm sorry the apology was overtaken by events. 
Hope you can calm down and stay in the game.
Your FIL and your flips? It wasn't a 'nice little jv' if he was only to provide funding at rates cheaper than commercial lenders but without portfolio mitigation or control. It was more akin to an equity play but with the risk/reward stacked very firmly in your favour. 
Good luck with budgets and business today.

alt80

@getmore4less yeah payback time now unfortunately but that is what it is- what am I meant to do dwell on my past poor decisions and get depressed about it? 

He’s always said BS like I’m more ‘big finance than big money’. Tbh he just needs to keep away from me and I’ll keep away from him. None of his business (he wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for my wife) and not his right to go telling my BIL who asked a perfectly reasonable question given Covid etc. My choice to play it down which it really isn’t what FIL is making it out to be anyway.

I need to get my head together and carry on putting business first, agreed. 

@warby68 calm down and stay in the game if by that you mean go back there just to have him say that kind of stuff no I won’t. Didn’t massively lose it tbf not fair on my wife and son and does me no favours but FIL is quite aware he can forget Christmas here (Covid permitting away). Wouldn’t want to be eating at a table bought I probably bought on credit I’m sure anyway haha.

Yes stacked in my favour or what’s the point?

alt80

Budget reset day - going to make a pledge to update this later or I’m going to avoid it haha. Want to spend money today not gonna lie. Last month it was something new and I suppose I was a bit more enthusiastic for it, this the punishment is really setting in tbh. Yep instant gratification ha. Need to push through.

Wife and I had a bit of a discussion about cards - she basically feels she can’t trust me and wants me to update her with what’s going on with them. Not a great place to be but all my fault for running up this and previous card binges. I’m not sure I want this long term - her wanting to pry into my finances and also she wants to know about any deals I take on which really is none of her business. Maybe my mindset is skewed which I’m sorting out not spending obscene amounts of money now but she’s risk adverse to stuff she shouldn’t be risk adverse about and it causes arguments no prizes for guessing where she gets that from haha.