First Steps to Solvency

getmore4less

Sounds like you have fallen into the IG trap your wife has been in that you have been trying to get her away from.

The old times where you can't really remember most of them and were distroying what you had built with the business along with ignoring your family.

See them for what they were not drug induced good times.

It is not normal to have a bit at the weekend never has been never will be.

First step is fix your eating that is messing with your body and you head.

warby68

Time to get back in the game @alt80

Remember the magical 'first' day out just you and your son - absolutely nothing related to money, spending or bad habits.

Your addict brain has got you in retreat from all the goods things (and people) you've tried over the last year until you're wallowing in self-pity and hankering after the fix and the fantasy more and more again ; its a dangerous path. Turn round, go back the other way. Just do what you know you should whether you want to or not. And yet again, get some more intense professional help. If you have to pay extra that would be a worthwhile spend. 

And again, sort those basics - healthy diet, fresh air, balanced days, exercise, rest and sleep.

I think you're completely worn out from having to try so hard but there isn't really a choice if you want to succeed. 

satchmo1

I wonder if you have ever come across 

Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT)

Mindfulness-based therapies help you focus on your thoughts and feelings as they happen, moment by moment. And to recognise that thoughts aren't facts and don't always need to be acted upon.

It can help help prevent depression coming back, and help anxiety and stress.

It combines mindfulness techniques like meditation and breathing exercises with cognitive therapy, which is about learning how to manage your thoughts and how they make you feel.

I know when my husband hasn't meditated, and his anxieties are beginning to overwhelm him. 

poppy811

Hope you finish early today and have some family time

stymied

I was going to suggest drive through Macdonalds with your son to combat the chicken salad and give him a treat 😊

alt80

I haven’t been well these past few days. Not really getting through very well, managed to work well but everything else gone to !!!!!!. Despite feeling awful this morning going to try to have a day with my family. I’ve been trying to tell myself I don’t want to spend like I used to and don’t care about the money idk only reason for me and I don’t think that mindset will fully leave me. You are right on here a bit at the weekend isn’t normal just is amongst some of the people I’ve chosen to associate with for years. Not all and I’m too quick to bin those people off because I have a problem with it and I know people rely on me.

Bargainhunter30

@alt80 I really think you should talk to a professional about medication. It was the only think that helped me out of a dark, self pitying hole. Sometimes our brains just don't work correctly and when multiple triggers occur medication is the only thing to fix it, with immediate effect. You wouldn't ignore a broken leg - unfortunately there is such a stigma around anti depressants, but if you brain has a chemical imbalance, you may need something else to work alongside the things everyone else has suggested. I kick myself for waiting so long to take them. Good luck.

stymied

I hope you have a good day. What do you have planned?

alt80

Have managed to spend the weekend with family. Spent a couple of £k, mainly on holiday clothes for wife. tbh had a good time for once. Did go out Saturday with wife, wasn’t the most sensible with that either but I don’t really regret it, saw some people who I’ve not seen in a long time and it was a good laugh. Yesterday managed to get through it, had lunch and get out for a good walk in the afternoon which was pleasant. Another day off work today, we’ve not planned a lot but this weekend off being sensible and miserable has been really !!!!!! nice tbh. I know I need to watch it doesn’t descend into what it was but it’s been good to not just live for work and absolutely nothing else. 

SusieT

Oh well done, that sounds so much more normal than before. Even when it gets really hard, please try your best to keep going like this as it will be so much better for you longterm, and your son will benefit hugely from it