First Steps to Solvency

mark55man

well done for pulling through your dark moments - just back from holiday and catching up and the difference from 2 weeks ago to today is amazing.  I believe there is a syndrome called SAD (seasonal affliction disorder) where lack of sunlight causes low moods.  Its been much sunnier for the last two weeks maybe that has helped

I agree with what getmore4less said about the slog - dealing with the first few months (and wow what a rollercoaster) is really motivating and exciting as you take control.  but then you have 2, 3 however many years of just keeping on the straight and narrow as best you can and that is a slog 

ladyholly

Congratulations on 271 days. A real acheivement andd you should be very proud of yorslef.

theoretica

You mentioned a while back an interest in bonsai - maybe here would make a nice quiet outing one weekend in spring? I am sure there would be temptation to spend some money - but trees for beginners to learn on are not too expensive.

https://www.bonsai.co.uk/visit-us/

strawb_shortcake

Well done on the 271 and glad you seem so much better.

I've deleted the usual newspaper feeds on my phone, there has been some alarmist headlines which I could feel was starting to affect me, but much of it is speculation and assumptions rather than facts. I can deal with the latter not the former.

My social media has mainly been about supporting Ukraine and helping the displaced Ukrainians, I can't change the current situation but I can help those directly impacted by donating supplies so I am trying to channel my energy into that. 

Sun_Addict

It shows just how far you've come that you've managed to get through some dark days and still remain clean, you should be very proud of that.

The latest news all feels very start of Covid when the media were frightening everyone with their doomsday scenarios. Great idea from Anna to focus on doing what you can do to help. 

alt80

Thanks all 

Not sure how it’s Thursday again and we’re a couple of day into March, also means 39 weeks today. I’m not going to pretend it’s been easy; I still sometimes think I’m going to fail to get through the day tbh. Woke today with very poor mental outlook irony is the item on the cal today was to appreciate you are alive. Should be able to do that given how fortunate we are here. I know I need to stop reading the news; my phone logged over 4 hours on it yesterday. Still haven’t been able to do anything to look at my personal finances tbh when my wife spent what I now see as a large sum of money my mental health completely !!!!!! spiralled. Hers has too, need to look after each other although glad to see the back of February. Something in the seasonal affective disorder for me, I know I moan about the weather enough ha. I am still enjoying my garden when I can and a trip to the bonsai place would be good. I’m really struggling with getting away from work and am working with the pros on that tbh the way I’ve lived my life has done me no favours can tell you that ha. My son has surprised me; he bought some plants for his room and is looking after them really well so hoping he will continue to enjoy the garden too. He’s growing up quite a lot, no problems with school and taking an interest in his education more so tbh feels like less of a waste of money.

Certainly agree about the slog of the payback though fml I’ve made a good attempt to avoid it previously but I do think now is the right time to get to a point of not having the stress of my financial situation hanging over me. I have spent time with my accountant reviewing ways forward with my business finances too, not quite so bad as my personal finances tbf but I’ve admitted to myself it’s always been stretched to the limit and beyond a few times and that I need to consolidate, reduce my over reliance on banks generally. I’ve always pushed against anything that meant a few years of consolidation thinking it meant I wasn’t moving forward.

Humdinger1

@alt80 when I came down from my castle in the air and started to live at ground level, it was exhausting.   Not dissing you I hope: you should be immensely proud of your journey and lbm.  It will get better for both of you.  I found recalibrating my expectations was a process but so worth it.  You're unpicking years of toxic behaviour and setting up healthy habits.  It's likely to be a rather bumpy process for your wife but you can make a huge contribution here because you started earlier so can reassure her that all is not lost because of some glitches.  You've  had them and recovered and carried on in the process. Everyday life is harder than living in a fantasy world but we are all so proud of you; be proud of yourself.   Love Humdinger x 

KxMx

When you feel you may fail to get through the day- don't look at it as a whole day but a series of 1 hour time periods.

I have to do that sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed, it really helps and with each hour that is got through I have a sense of achievement as a stream of good feelings, in a day where I'm not feeling good! 

vampirotoothus

@KxMx great post x

DancingInTheRain

Congratulations on 39 weeks 3/4s of the way to a full year, quite an achievement. I, like many others on here, truly hope you and your wife keep working together on your journey despite its ups and downs.