First Steps to Solvency

Sun_Addict

Oh alt 😩 Sorry to hear your wife has sabotaged your plans. Is there anything that can go back? Does she not want to see the finances in better shape? You must feel like you’re banging your head against a brick wall. I hope you can come up with a solution. 

alt80

Day 237, looking forward to seeing day 250; it was a milestone I set for myself.

Todays cal ‘choose one of your strengths and find a way to use it today’ well I’m at work lol.

@RelievedSheff I can’t do that as tempting as it is rn. Didn’t get much sleep last night but the guided meditation worked to help me drift off. 

@Sun_Addict it was jewellery she reckons she wants to keep and a !!!!!! expensive dress for our vow renewal end of May. My financial situation disgusts her. She wants it sorted, thinks I can generate money out of thin air fml but as she says doesn’t want to live like we are doing, this shouldn’t be part of her life and not be able to treat herself.

RelievedSheff

She has a funny way of showing it disgusts her by making it worse!!

Tell her to send the items back and that she can have them when together you work through your current financial situation. It won't be forever if you stick to the plan. It might be forever if she is not willing to change her ways.

I'm going to guess she is on IG again?

strawb_shortcake

Wasn't the whole point of the renewal to draw a line under the past and start afresh with a happier and sustainable future ahead of you? 

To be frank, your wife has !!!!!! all over that romantic gesture so I'd be inclined to call it off. 

KxMx

Pre paid cards. 

Your wife has shown time and again she won't stop voluntarily.

This cycle will keep happening unless you take control - you did it with your personal finances and now you need to do it with your wife's. 

stymied

Oh no! There’s treating yourself and there’s having a massive blowout - 2 quite different things. Reduce number of cards would be different to taking them all away. Keep the jewellery or the dress but not both.

Iamouttheotherside

1) Inform your father in law of her latest antics.
2) Close the credit cards you don't need for both of you, that way it doesn't seem like you are just cancelling her cards.
3) Lower the limits of the remaining cards, if you won't cancel her cards, if she doesn't have it available she can't spend it.  Keep lowering the limits as you pay your debt off.
4) Make her take the jewellery back - no negotiation.
5) Put her officially on your payroll for her cleaning she does, put it in her bank and tell her thats her spending money.  Then she will see how the majority of the population live.

sophialoren2

Most certainly see yo see what you need to sell, e bay,Vinted. Facebay. Generally wealthy individuals know whip things they don't utilize and pay special attention to deals, no disgrace in it at such an extremely long time.

Iamouttheotherside

Oh and try and find out what "triggered" her spending!

satchmo1

I'd suspect that your wife will see "the perfect dress" for your vow renewals nearer to May.
Jewellery shouldn't be an impulse buy when there's debt to clear!!!

Tell her you are invested in the health of your relationship, but that unnecessary spending is detrimental to your relationships health. 

Be prepared to praise even the smallest step forward. Be prepared to praise often. 

You have made great progress, well done. Be prepared to praise yourself often!