First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

poppy811 said:

[Deleted User] said:

If you post on a public forum you have to expect a variety of views to be expressed.
At this moment the obsession about being only positive along with the fear of actually saying how things really are, in my opinion stops proper solutions bring achieved. 

Agree with that but comments need to be kind as well as truthful

Unfortunately the truth isn't always kind! 

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Just checking that you’re ok @alt80

Four_Seasons

Missing the daily quotes! Hope you are all OK. 

alt80

I’m ok, just getting through each day still, not spending any money or anything else. Engaging with the pros, my family and trying to ensure I stay on the right road. Been out for lots of walks with my son and started to plan what we are doing in our garden for the coming year.

Regarding my wife she would have taken a different path with hindsight so I know she regrets that choice and what that’s meant both in having to deal with me and financially. I cannot blame her for feeling she’s been cheated tbh when I was a lot younger I led her to believe I was going to be big in business. I know I do ok in the grand scheme of things but not the level she wanted from life.

Just for you @Four_Seasons todays is ‘decide to lift people up rather than put them down’.

RelievedSheff

Perhaps you should look to lift yourself up today rather than putting yourself down.

Four_Seasons

Thank you Alt its very kind of you. Have a good day you are definitely on the right path.

ladyholly

Re your wife hindsight is a wonderful thing but she made her choice and to keep bringing it up and making quite nasty remarks to you is unfair to you and unhelpful to her well being.
Most people have regrets about something they have done or not done but live with it and don't keep bringing it up.  I think it is indicative of her still needing to grow up. 
I would also say even if she had found her footballer they don't all make loads of money and many have to retire early due to injury and disability.  You should point that out to her. 

getmore4less

ladyholly said:

Re your wife hindsight is a wonderful thing but she made her choice and to keep bringing it up and making quite nasty remarks to you is unfair to you and unhelpful to her well being.
Most people have regrets about something they have done or not done but live with it and don't keep bringing it up.  I think it is indicative of her still needing to grow up. 
I would also say even if she had found her footballer they don't all make loads of money and many have to retire early due to injury and disability.  You should point that out to her. 

This has been covered before, 

Many wife's also pull their own way with successful careers the day of  WAGs are over.

Not sure retaliation is productive it could deteriorate very quickly.

I suspect the get the FIL on side that she is bringing up I could have done better again is the better approach.

FIL knows first step, if she does follow through(or gets kicked out), is she comes home and PIL have made it clear they are not keen on that happening.

alt80

Shouldn’t be up now but can’t sleep, going to write this and do a guided meditation see if that works. 

Made a little promise to myself I’d find something to say they’d done well with today to all my staff, wife and son. Wasn’t weird some were just very small others quite big but thought today’s calendar was quite nice. 

Time to be honest whilst I’ve spent no money my wife has and tbh knowing the balances won’t be going down to the figures I had planned I’m not in the best mindset rn - still I know I have a choice in the way I react and I’m not going to let it derail me. I asked her to lock her cards away with mine obviously she refused idk considered cancelling them - she’s a second card holder so wouldn’t be cancelling her accounts, they are all my accounts. Don’t really want to get into figures tonight tbh it’s a bit embarrassing and idk really where to go from here I’ll just say it’s !!!!!! up my plans to meet the balloon payment. Anyway I need to face up to dealing with it.

@RelievedSheff thanks mate.

RelievedSheff

No wonder your sleep is all over the place when your wife is just reverting back to old habits. 

I do think now is the time to cancel her cards. She has proven time and again that she can't be trusted with them.

I wouldn't tell her they have been cancelled either and let her find out the hard way.