First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Didn’t do too badly once I did get to sleep last night. Going out for lunch with in-laws to some pub in the middle of nowhere Nottinghamshire always a bit of a gamble Sunday lunch out imo but this place looks nice, old time country pub type place so we will see ha. 

I am unfortunately too aware where my thoughts can lead and how destructive those type of thoughts are and can be - why I went to see the pros. Know I need to try to nip it in the bud - subject of which was in my garden this morning and noticed my cherry tree is starting to blossom. Seems earlier than usual though possibly just didn’t pay enough attention to my garden before now tbh but some very very early signs of saying goodbye to winter. Nice to spend 30 mins just walking around it and looking at what there is to do and what I already have here this morning.

I do need to get back to looking after myself which is difficult but have to do it to not lead to more destructive thinking / actions. I know I’m at least doing well not touching any substances or spending money but also realise just how much I did the self destructive stuff to advert the worthlessness- had a !!!!!! lot of therapy lol. Still not had a drink tbf I did stay at my office one evening last week as I’d started to convince myself I was going to go home and drink idk why possibly time to look through what I’ve put in the cellar and get rid of it. This sounds crazy but I said to one of my staff I don’t drink anymore and after they went away from my office I realised I don’t want to start again anytime soon.

RelievedSheff

Well done for realising you needed help. That is all part of the recovery process. 

Enjoy your Sunday lunch.

Willowtree222

Hope the Sunday lunch is good.
my tree is starting to bud too but it is a lot earlier. I think the milder weather for this time has made it a lot earlier.

Sorry you’re struggling again with those destructive thoughts. Hopefully the strategies from the pros will help you overcome them as much as you have the addiction. 

mark55man

Hey - I know you are trying to control the spends but sometimes you need a break.  Plus you are a big swings and roundabouts guy so £100 for spends for a day out to refresh the mood is not unaffordable.  Although Nottingham is quite central a trip to the seaside - either spontaneous or maybe with a nice upmarket lunch booked - is super chilling and you get to drive amongst some stunning scenery.  I always find 1-2 hours drive to a destination quite relaxing of itself.  And as designated driver another way to have fun and be AF.  

I'm probably odd, but I prefer a bracing spring day (as long as dry) to a baking hot crowded summer day.  We went to Whitstable yesterday with friends and it was all of the above - plus ended up dinner for 4 at £40 at a chippy type place with eat in pretensions - was fabulous

theoretica

One thing that strikes me - have you realised how much you use the word 'deserve'?  I am pretty sure nobody in your family has a fairy godmother to come twinkling along in a cloud of frills and give everyone what they deserve. 

alt80

Day 227 

Lunch out wasn't great tbh and managed to have a take away tonight fml I need to get back to eating better last week when I did eat it was takeaway whatever I could eat at the office, hardly any exercise and just generally not good for me. So aiming for 10k steps / x3 proper workouts and eating properly, wouldn't harm to track tbh. 

I still need to do a bit of goal setting for this coming year financially and otherwise, hoping I'll be in a good enough state of mind to get on with it over the next week or two. Also getting back on track with the happiness cal / bit of the guided meditation and something else to try to switch my brain off a bit - @enthusiasticsaver learning to relax definitely did bypass me and not great when up at stupid hours. Almost think I was destined to be a cokehead somedays hate myself for how bad I let that get but I couldn't see beyond it for a very long time, justified it to myself. 

@mark55man I do have planned days out / breaks / holidays etc. started to feel guilty writing things on here when I know the majority are less fortunate than I am in terms of income and my personal debts being my own !!!!!! stupid spending when I'd been on the chang. Anyway I'm with you re visiting the coast, little interest in it when the weather it at its best and there are a load of people, massive queues and crowds spoiling it.

@theoretica I want to give my family a good life and lifestyle. Suppose I hope it makes up for me but know it doesn't.

getmore4less

I like to break complex stuff down to simpler bits.  

You can't change the past but can change the now and future.

Hiding in the office does nothing but repeat the past and has to stop.

I thought there was a plan to work round School stick to it.
We are heading into the worst 2 months of the year for weather but nature fights that with growth responding to the longer days embrace that and get out of the house for those walks in daylight 

As for the finances for this year.

What needs changing from the current plan for the personal?
I thought that was pretty good, it seems to be about right on balance between scrooge and living.
Plenty of things sorted for the year in terms of the bigger trips and more time with your parents. 

If the business forecast is good, maybe reshuffle the drawdown between the let&main keeping it the same total  and thinking about how to invest any surplus.

This is really the year to engage with the mentors and higher level business gurus to look/find the scaling opportunities, you are maxed out already and more hours doing the same is not productive or good for your life balance.
Organic growth through more business of the same needs to be done by others freeing you up to do the important stuff.

Maybe some complimentary training/education would be useful

alt80

Day 228

Been a really good one; got my 10k steps, ate healthy and made sure my Mrs has eaten well too. She lost 1kg last week and is still aiming to get to 50kg to be able to give blood I've somehow roped myself into going with her when she reaches her goal ha. 10k steps. No workout as rest day for Mrs. Office school hours, dropped off and picked up son. Dog walk whilst it was still light and staff have jobs to do not having me sitting there until stupid o'clock doing their jobs for them this week fml. I know what triggered it but couldn't admit it last week and why I started obsessing over the personal finances again. My wife had put together a list of things to redo our son's bedroom, came to a ridiculous amount of money just over £12k which is !!!!!! ridiculous for a kid's bedroom if I'm being honest but I couldn't tell her no, I told her I'd look at it. I just want to be able to provide well for my family but having took that step back I wonder if that's as much about providing a dose of realism rather than just finding money all the time. I don't have endless funds it embarrasses me that I'm not close to that and that's something I have to deal with but according to the stats 98% of the country is worse off than me in terms of income- have a lot to be thankful for.

Todays cal: 'be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes' - I'm working on that today. Spoke to pros, wife and my dad. Benn honest with my wife told her his bedroom is fine (it is) and it's a ridiculous amount to spend especially right now or in the near future. This is something I couldn't have done without being on here I always tried to make things work money no object tbh because I thought it was the only thing I could do right by them or as close to right as possible. Going to say this for anyone who reads this and struggles with my type of mindset; you are not just your earning (or spending) power. I'll have to retain that one and hopefully I'll see it when I'm going down the stupid road.

@getmore4less  thanks mate I'm completely whacked but read your response nodding along and smiling - what I need to do 100%. Stealing your comment about nature fighting the grim weather with growth - my son will like that. Few signs in our garden right now.

Anyway off to bed, put my audio book on and hopefully up for a bright start tomorrow. Thanks all.

alt80

Todays cal ‘get back in contact with an old friend’ fml probably better missed lol. 

mark55man

we're all old friends on here. 

I have met up with some school friends after ages thanks to the wonders of FB.  It was OK - did it a few times then it dwindled with the pandemic.  It will wait - I think you need to be 50+ when your own kids are grown and a bit of spare time to make the most of it