First Steps to Solvency

Legs21

So sons friends parents want to go out for a drink and go to a church service with you? Yeah, they must really hate the sight of you to want to do all that!? 

Stop overthinking everything and assuming you know what people think.

You have come so far in such a short space of time you should be wanting to get out there and show everyone how much you’ve changed. Stand tall, hold your head up high and be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished over the last 6 months. 

poppy811

I have thought a lot about about putting this in the public domain but I think you are a need of a reality check.  My husband died in very traumatic circumstances and soon after I was diagnosed with inoperable cancer.   Enjoy what you have.

SusieT

I am an echo here, but GO!! They are wanting to be seen with you (and I bet that would not have been the case previously), your wife is proud to be with you, your son will have daddy there like the rest of his friends. You should be so much more proud of yourself for doing so damned well, and to now have people happy to be seen with a clean you. 
Just tell them you are driving so it is orange juice or whatever only for you, show the world that you are a real achiever and that your family mean so much to you. That is worth a million of anything purchased for them.

Purplelady65

I agree with all the other posts. This family have invited you for a drink and it’s an opportunity to start afresh with them. I’m sure it would mean a lot to your wife and son if you went. As others have said you can’t absent yourself from everything - that’s what being part of a family is about. You might actually enjoy yourself! Easy to be AF and say you’re driving or have made some health and lifestyle changes and don’t really drink these days. 

Cherryfudge

@poppy811... what can I say? Thank you for being strong enough to put things in perspective, it makes my little grievances very petty. Sending you hugs, if I may.

alt80

Day 202

Have been in a really !!!!!! awful mindset all day but haven’t touched any substances and have spent no money. I know I would have this time last year. Spoken to pros recovery is more effort than relapse tbh but no desire to !!!!!! up again. Sometimes I just think if I knew the money would keep turning for family and staff, no potential of upheaval for tenants and no one would be hurt financially or otherwise I wouldn't have to be here. It’s just the personal acknowledgment I don’t enjoy life, nothing more.

My wife and son want me to go with them so I am going to, it will be good for them and probably look more weird if I don’t turn up. No going to pretend it’s not tripping me off tbh but I know my son will enjoy the time with his friend. Last time my wife arranged to do something with them was the last time I had a drink and I knew it was getting destructive, planned to share a bottle of wine with my wife and got absolutely wasted no other reason than to have an excuse to hide from them. Bit pathetic really I know. They are aware why I went away, my wife told them so I doubt I’ll be under any pressure to have a drink. It is what it is. 

@poppy811 I’m really sorry to hear those things, not that it changes anything, I appreciate that and I hope the medical pros can help. Fwiw I know I’m a !!!!!! and there are people in much, much worse positions with a much better outlook in life. Lot of better people in this world that I admire 100%. 

Purplelady65

 It’s just the personal acknowledgment I don’t enjoy life, nothing more.

It may be just your mindset atm as some of your posts prior to the last couple of weeks have sounded very positive and you sounded to be really enjoying life. When you went on holiday to Greece you sounded really happy. 

I’ve just been wrapping some Christmas presents and had a flick through the first few pages of one of them which is Matt Haig’s The Comfort Book. It’s full of different entries, some long, some very short. Anyway here are a couple which might resonate with you and maybe provide some comfort based on your recent posts. 

To be is to let go

Self-forgiveness makes the world better. You don’t become a good person by believing you are a bad one.

You are the goal
You don’t have to continually improve yourself to love yourself. Love is not something you only deserve if you reach a goal. The world is one of pressure but don’t let it squeeze your self-compassion. You were born worthy of love and you remain worthy of love. Be kind to yourself. 

warby68

I'm glad you're going

Sorry its proving a difficult week. When you say you just don't enjoy life, it might be worth reading some of your diary back - you really do seem to have enjoyed good chunks of the last few months, despite the triggers and effort to maintain your recovery. 

RelievedSheff

I'm glad you are going as well. You have to get out and face people.

Christmas will be over in a few days and then you can sit back just you , the wife and your son and have some quiet time together.

ladyholly

I think you just have pre Christmas blues just as you had pre holiday blues. You are still learning to lead a different life and naturally worry about it. I am sure it will all be fine and you and your family will have a lovely time can look forward to a more stable 2022.