First Steps to Solvency

FootyFanDan

Hi mate, not commented for a while.....been so busy lately, can't even keep up my own diary lol, just wanted to say well done on achieving 125 days that is amazing!!. I know you have had a tricky few weeks but your doing really well to resist the temptation to do anything that would set you back and that takes some serious effort.

I am with you on the weird sleeping patterns, although it is calming abit now but if I can't sleep even if its daft o clock in the morning I find getting up and doing something more productive than just lying awake in bed. It seems like FIL in is maybe seeing how hard you are trying and maybe throwing out olive branch. 

ladyholly

Starting looking at finances late in the evening is, as you well know, stupid. It makes you anxious and does not allow you to get in a good frame of mind to sleep well. If you really cant sleep get up and do something that calms you. A cup of camomile tea and reading a boring book works for me - well not the tea as I loathe the taste but I know you drink it. Starting on worrying about finances is guarunteed to keep you awake.

You will enjoy the pumpkin picking even if it brings back memories. I seem to remember you admitting you did last year despite the meltdown over a muddy RR.

alt80

Day 125 no way I’m losing this count today 😆

Did get some sleep- not enough really and my fault 100% going to make sure I have my last proper coffee with lunch and switch to decaf. I need to start helping myself rather than keeping myself awake with bad habits and using mild stimulants. Feel I don’t get enough time for anything when I’m sleeping early glad personal finance plan more or less runs itself set up that way to just look at once per month and update spends once per week. 

@FootyFanDan you sound in good spirits mate and thank you. It does seem like I’ve got some !!!!!! side hustle in ‘not being a drug addict’ with a further offshoot into ‘not spending compulsively’ I joke but I think my habits were so ingrained its a !!!!!! daily battle mate.

I don’t help myself with sleep don’t need a medical qual to know that.

My FIL and I have a similar sense of humour when I’m not taking what he says too personally we’re very different people but actually had a good laugh with him in recent months.

@ladyholly I’m an idiot mate, didn’t help myself. 

Actually am quite looking forward to it haha fml. My boy loved it and I’m prepared for my car to look a mess lol.

getmore4less

125  starting to look like a 1/2 decent cricket score.

I was thinking again about the school dad calling you a jumped up EA.

That would be a very complimentary business to go with your main business and the letting side.

In a rural area I go to it is quite common for the business  to be EA, surveyors and valuers dealing with both commercial and domestic property. 

These days with so much done on line and rightmove the need for premises in EA row in any town is probably no longer a must have.


on the personal front I think you need to get back to doing what was working.

proper plans for the week ahead.
Family time during the week.
Shorter working hours.
Weekends that have activities or visits to places planned.

This move to all I need to do is keep off the stuff won't work, as you will regress back to the old habits of withdrawing from family people and just working 

As was discussed very early on you need to replace that habitual activity and hiding in office prison  with new activities that become habitual, the weekends with family, engaging with the FIL,  coming home early and being a dad during the week were all working well and it was reflecting in the business getting back on track with visible growth.

The other habit was looking for the magic fix even though its not there, you have started looking again, the debts will keep getting lower, you have to be a bit flexible with the rate there will be good months and not so good.
Might need to roll over some of the debt an nothing wrong with a bit of planning especially with the  free options like the purchase, get them a bit early and moving some of the debt pushed any hard dates back and should avoid hitting the buffer where you need a fee card to keep it rolling.

On the business  you need to continue with the organic growth of what you have but the big wins are finding new opportunities to grow, this means reaching out to the mentors, other business people you know as well as your own team.

It might be looking at things you already do and expanding the scope in new areas or something new but complimentary to what you do already.



On the Greece trip,  I would not prebook alternative accommodation stick to the plan but review once there, parents must know people and places that would allow you to spread out for some of the time, son can stay with your parents and you can have a date night or two.







 

SanguineGina

alt80 said:

@SanguineGina

I think everyone thinks about it life is generally !!!!!! doesn’t mean going to act on any thought though. 

Alt, I know you are going through recovery which is by no means a piece of cake, and that you struggle sometimes with sleep and suffer low moods/anxiety and health anxiety, and on top of all that you are doing the slog of payback, running your business and doing the household finances, so I get that you have a lot on your plate to deal/cope with, BUT it ain't like the devil vomited into your kettle is it? ( thank you Blackadder for that brilliant phrase btw)

I think you are mistaken when you state that everyone thinks about it, and I definitely disagree that life is generally !!!!!!.

Well done for reaching Day 125,  you should be really proud of that.

theoretica

Did you in hindsight accomplish anything productive after 11 last night? Let alone 3+ hours worth? Your finances are all lined up now  - all you need to do is a few addition/subtraction sums now and then?  For all that rehashing the past repeatedly is not a good idea, noting (once) and remembering the reward/cost analysis of your actions is worthwhile.

alt80

Day 125 through and 18 weeks tomorrow. Long day working today good one though and shorter day planned tomorrow. Had the wife in today for school hours. Weekend already sorted and trying to avoid thinking about getting on the plane as much as i can would give money not to go but I need to do it - my parents are getting no younger I know. Today’s gem from FILs cal ‘remind yourself that things can change for the better’ he sends me these things every !!!!!! day lol.

Son made me laugh telling me about some school project about their interests his top 3 were football, our dog and going to the beach last one made me laugh he doesn’t go to a beach very often so I don’t know how that made it up there. Others were ‘his’ garden, rugby thanks to @getmore4less for that lol he’s just started playing rugby and ‘sea creatures’. Think I’ve said on here how !!!!!! obsessed he was with aquariums when he was younger. We are getting him a little tropical fish tank for his birthday this year. No gadgets/ games made the list that surprised me. 

@getmore4less I am involved with agency much more on the management side though not that long brought a guy in to expand the agency side of things generally. Old style RICS GPs still exist and are more plentiful than you’d first think especially and more overtly so in rural locations. Corporates not ruined us entirely yet. Right now I’m identifying gaps / areas of growth and looking towards finding the right people to bring on board when I’m not running myself down with the fee earners that tbf you’re right I should be doing less of. 

I’m very much struggling with doing the things I should be doing (which you’re right about mate 100%) and yeah I retreat back into the ‘safety’ of office/ work/ generally just hiding away from people apart from those who were destructive. It’s a battle to make the better choices every single day. There are days sometimes weeks I lose stress is a contributor but I allow that to happen with the way I behave ultimately. I could have less stress generally if I was prepared to step back a little bit sometimes it’s needed when I’m working into stupid hours on stupid things. I’ve spent whole nights awake recalc staff jobs couldn’t tell you why I do it, it was paranoia I used to have a lot of weird really paranoid thoughts when I was using heavily and up at all hours. Never admitted it to myself until this year but don’t think my mental health ever been amazing really. Apparently more common with people in business than other parts of the population read a few interesting articles which were true for me anyway. 

Re personal debts I do need to calm down about it again. I’m getting obsessive about it and about not spending which sounds odd probably but I go through times I cannot stand the idea of money being spent on me/ treats/ rewards etc etc Any amount it just sickens me the thought of it. 

Greece: yeah my parents know a lot of Greeks no surprise there lol they are very hospitable generally. I’m just !!!!!! anxious about going tbh mate probably over thinking it. 

@SanguineGina haha my parents loved Blackadder lol. Really pleased for you that you enjoy life mate, that’s fantastic. I didn’t say I wanted others to think in the same way, I’m really glad you don’t tbh.

@theoretica Nothing productive really lot of staring at a sheet rejigging amounts in the template one seeing how I could make my end-2021 goal work what I could cut from where, could I stretch some interval or other etc etc just madness really going over same ground feeling !!!!!! angry with my Mrs because she says she thinks I work too much to have no lifestyle whatsoever when I see people on here smashing payoffs in little time earning much less. Really it’s no !!!!!! big deal when it’s 0% and tbh beyond another commitment idk what I’d do without the cards / RR etc way of !!!!!! life for me being in debt is to the point I’m terrified of the idea one day I might be debt and PG free (very very long term goal or was before I started really thinking about it and panicking I’d lose all drive for life without the bills to pay).

RelievedSheff

Give it time and you will find a happy medium between paying down the debts and living a life where you can have planned spends and enjoy life.

You will get there. 

SanguineGina

Happy week 18, alt!

Greece will be fine.  You will be able to cope with any awkward  moments/situations and before you know it, you will be back home, glad that you made your parents happy and fast tracking your way to week 25.

foxgloves

You are making great headway on staying off the destructive substances. Also, it sounds as though you are a good landlord. You can't underestimate that. I spent a couple of years in an awful rented property in NG city. Dreadful landlord. Decades ago, but last I heard, that property 'empire' was still going strong.
Having an accessible, fair landlord can make life a lot easier for tenants, that's for sure.
F