First Steps to Solvency

SusieT

I went out with a friend a few days ago, she has sod all money to spare but the kids love the fact that she spends time with them. They have friends for sleepovers from families with a lot more money than her and their kids also love the bedtime stories and going out to parks and nature trails etc. One was from a high income family who spend on gadgets but do not have any time to sit down with the child. He went home telling the father that he had just had the best day ever and wanted to stay and do it again. The father did not understand that going out and jumping in puddles with her, making very odd looking dinosaur biscuits together and not having the latest gadgets was actually better than him throwing money at the child. Try thinking of doing things like that as having more value than money, spending time with your son is worth a lot more than £'s. If you put a value on your time of (say) £100 an hour spend that £100 on time with your son, aim for at least an hour a day, more at weekends and holidays and put that time in his memory "bank" so that in the future he will be able to look back and have a lot in there to thank you for, that he will use when he has children of his own and can tell them stories of things that he did with his father at their bedtimes.  

SanguineGina

Have you done conkers yet with your son, alt? Gathered some on one of your family walks and showed him how to play? 

Watch those not really wanting to be here thoughts, alt,  if you are referring to life; really hope you never act on them and if you find that they are occuring more frequently, make sure you talk to the pros about it.

As warby mentioned, if your mood is persistently low, some prescribed meds if your doctor thinks them necessary/suitable would be something to seriously consider as a means to get back on a more even keel.

Hope you have a mini goal and small reward/treat lined up to look forward to and if not, tomorrow, day 125 would be fitting.☺

alt80

@SusieT my wife spends lots of time with son and often has his friends during school hols etc. They love it here so I know where you’re coming from know a few parents both working all hours kids have little in the way of a childhood.

@SanguineGina Wife has and in-laws.

I think everyone thinks about it life is generally !!!!!! doesn’t mean going to act on any thought though. 

No treats / rewards planned.

RelievedSheff

Day 124. Well done. Another big milestone tomorrow. 😀

Grumpelstiltskin

Alt  Put this in your diary for this Thursday if you can get your son down after school.
He will love a selfie.

BEAKING NEWS: Goosey’s flying visit to Old Market Square! | West Bridgford Wire

QueenJess

alt80 said:

Glad you can look back and say you wouldn’t change a thing must be a nice place to be. 

It’s more that I just can’t think like that. I’m sure I could have done lots of different things and many things better, but it’s waste of time thinking like that and I just can’t think that way anymore. My brain is instantly bored and thinks about something else instead. I much prefer to plan for the future as I can control it better.

 Plus I’m in the camp of if everything goes very smoothly in life, you’ve probably had a very boring life!

alt80

@RelievedSheff thank you.

@Grumpelstilskin ha my Mrs saw that this evening. I told him I can’t go, I’ve got 1 on hols until Monday did say to wife I’ve told him I’m not going but am going to plan to go and come home make them a hot choc. You’re probably going to say shouldn’t wind a kid up but he’ll like the surprise. Do what I need to do work wise that evening. Shame the fair isn’t on imo hopefully will be next year. 

@QueenJess yeah wish going over things made me ‘bored’ as I say it’s a nice place to be. Not knocking you, it must be brilliant to not look back. Can learn some things reflecting but can be really destructive so I’m pleased for you.

Fml re everything smoothly I’d trade for very boring life rn 100%.

alt80

Day 124 through. Fml just had a message through from FIL today’s cal was ‘be a realistic optimist. See life as it is, but focus on what’s good’ - he’s bought tickets for !!!!!! pumpkin picking again sends me a message saying I might still be a !!!!!! but I’ve grown as a person so they’ve booked pumpkin picking this weekend. Asked him what the !!!!!! he was talking about sends back he reckons I’ve grown beyond ‘raging about parking a 4x4 in the mud’. Ha fml didn’t need to be reminded of that lol but did make me laugh tbf.

alt80

Shouldn’t really be up at this time looking at this I know. My mental health / sleep patterns are in !!!!!! tatters rn hardly coping just about getting through working day and nothing else. Did start looking at work 11pm ish but decided to move onto personal finances.

Can’t sleep if not obvious and been looking at the figures looking like if I can pull £345 out of my budget for the month I’ll be at £25k left owing on cards - sales unlikely this month given wife has nothing up for sale and we’re going to be away. So far it’s been a low spend so should be on track but we need to buy my parents their Christmas gifts and still thinking about booking accommodation rather than staying with parents which will !!!!!! the budget unfortunately. November & December aren’t looking too hopeful either not over budget for planned spends or certainly hope not to be but doubt we’re going to be much under either. My Mrs thinks I’m obsessing about being sub £20k on cards to start 2022. I have worked out to realistically clear the current crop of 0% by the time it is due I’m looking at clearing £2050 per month. That won’t happen Nov/ Dec, should do this month half thinking about telling parents I’m not in a position to get them much no !!!!!! pride anymore can tell you that ha. Think I’m going to have to have a look at 0% purchase offers in Jan/ Feb time to make sure I reach the deadlines for the current. Unfortunately they all fall at once give a month for one card - when I got the purchase cards last time only deals were 18 months @ 0% -they were the best back then. 

Need to have a look what the deals are now hopefully more than 18 months also be planning for Range Rover balloon too as I’m going to be reliant on 0% to make it. We were also hoping to purchase the MG agreed £8k and though mate is ok about it I’m a bit embarrassed to leave it much longer than next year but no !!!!!! room to purchase it/ meet my deadline and have a life. I can’t !!!!!! believe I’m agonising over £8k tbh but I am.

alt80

Fml just seen the time I’m wide awake have spent my time looking at 0% offers I don’t need to apply for rn and could change in a few months. Need to go to bed really. Almost wish I had the excuse of being on the stimulants apart from a few coffees and a red bull looking through cards which tbf I shouldn’t have touched at least not had anything stronger though. Being wide awake at gone 2am just thinking what an idiot I am.