First Steps to Solvency

mark55man

hey there @alt80 - checking in again - still going strong I glad to see. although still fighting with yourself, and that's a fight that you can never win

just wanted to say I have worked in or with a lot of small companies, and they say the structure and dynamic of the company tends to change most when staffing increases to 2, 20, 200, 2000 employees with a need to redesign how you do management and delivery and admin.  May be different in your business area but have a think or ask the team for thoughts, or hire someone to do it

good luck - it also a bad time of year to be in a lull, as the weather is getting worse etc, so I think a sunny holiday is a great plan to look forward to

alt80

Day 120. Haven't been in a great state of mind yesterday / today but have stopped myself from having a proper !!!!!! it moment. Not being able to easily access my cards probably has saved me for the past few days / weeks both spending and otherwise. It's given me time to stop myself from doing stupid stuff. 

Purplelady65

Sorry to hear you’ve not been in a good way. However it shows the strategies you’ve got in place (I.e no access to cash or cards) is the right one to have in place for you as it stops you acting on impulse. Hopefully you’ll feel in a better place in a couple of days. 

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear you’re struggling at the moment, things will get better, you just need to get past this hurdle. Stay strong 💪 

warby68

I hope you're accessing the help @alt80 - you can't do this alone.

woahsoah

Think of the positives, day 120 and you restricted your own access to the cards and have done bloody well. Watch Minimalism on Netflix to take your mind off the consumption. I know you won't throw the progress away, you just need to relax and enjoy life a bit.

alt80

Day 121, thanks all. Going out for a big walk with family today. Know a lot of my thoughts are skewed and am maintaining time with the pros. Suppose I don’t know what other purpose there is to life other than buying things and paying commitments I’m so !!!!!! afraid of stopping caring about working the levels although thinking like that is making me ill.

Years and years ago I said I’d have it made if I could leave my business alone for a few weeks and it be fine be able to go away relax and recharge for a bit and concentrate on other areas rather than the day to day fee earners I’m not blind to the direction I need to take. Suppose I was brought up being told I need to put the graft in and some things just look like little other than thinking but need the headspace from the day to day grind I put that down to me being deficient but possibly isn’t. Agree re staff levels going from below 5 was a real step and not got to 20 yet but edging 15 and there is starting to be a bit of a different dynamic. I’m maintaining contact with someone who was a good mentor early days but we fell out of touch for a while. He’s winding down now but built up from nothing to about 40 staff in a different industry done really well though. Business still going but he’s stepping back. Can’t say I’m comfortable with giving equity away but I have considered it once; someone who could have brought a different element to the table and ultimately set up themselves and doing very well - I lost out there and was really sinking into addiction at that point only realised that in this period of recovery. 

Interesting point re my son all being well he won’t be in the position I was when I left uni. Although that concerns me tbh; idk what his future looks like. I would like to be able to pass on my business and property but not sure how good that is for him - worried he won’t develop much of a work ethic.

mark55man

alt80 said:

Day 120. Haven't been in a great state of mind yesterday / today but have stopped myself from having a proper !!!!!! it moment. Not being able to easily access my cards probably has saved me for the past few days / weeks both spending and otherwise. It's given me time to stop myself from doing stupid stuff. 

That's a really positive sign you have got your head in the right place - strong will power, but supported by mechanisms to help.  You can't wing this stuff, and planning ahead for down times is great work. When you were stronger you put in place systems to help you on a bad day.  That's a formula for success

Legs21

You have come a long way in the last 120 days. Be proud of yourself! The changes are gradual which is why you can’t really see them until you look back months or years. We can see the changes in you but we can also see you slipping backwards into your old ways with working stupid hours to the detriment of valuable family time. What’s the point of a 7 figure house if you’ve driven everyone away to get it?

You need to go back to where you filled your day\diary with a balance of work and family time and stick to it!

Get rid of the apps and unsubscribe to the emails and ads that make you want to spend money. You felt much better the last time you did it. 

Have more phone free weekends. Your son probably wants one because he sees how much you and your wife are on your phones. 

Get back to basics and a simpler life 🙂

RelievedSheff

Sorry to hear you are struggling Alt. 

Day 121 is a great achievement and you should be proud. Hope you have a good weekend with your family.