First Steps to Solvency

Grumpelstiltskin

The being whacked at weekends is relatively easy to sort.

Cut down on the amount of time you spend at work.

You know the staff can and are willing to do more, just take the step and let them do the work.

I still don't think you realize you are a long time dead please get it into your head your family need you not a million pound house and you dead.

If you got your house which your wife didn't want and you did die I guess within a year your wife would sell it and move to a much smaller easier to run house.

SanguineGina

alt80 said:

Day 119, 17 weeks today. 

I’m totally whacked; weekends, we go somewhere and last weekend my wife just left me to sleep in the car. There’s something wrong with me .. 

alt, when you factor in that you are using enormous reserves of mental energy on fighting cravings & staying clean, and that your mind and body is still getting use to functioning without the stimulant of cocaine, and on top of that you aren't getting regular quality amounts of decent sleep, then it is no wonder that you crash sometimes and just sleep the sleep of the exhausted.

There is nothing wrong with you, alt,  honestly, and in time things will improve on how energy sapping the above is.  Lack of decent sleep will always impede anyone's ability to function effectively and enhance the feeling like crap sleep deficit hangover.

Btw, I get the bonkers 7 fig house box ticking goal totally.  And I get that even if you weigh it all up and can see that it doesn't stack up logically, that it still remains a goal.  I get that totally.

ladyholly

The pros are right. Stress is exhausting. To compare it to dog training. Mental work for a dog is just as if not moe tiring. It is the same with people. The amount of stress you giving yourself with the constant going over figures, looking for the next level.,  working long hours, worrying about past misdemeanours must be like running a marathon every day. For your own health and sanity you must park the past and put the rest into boxes that can be considered  at appropriate times as in discussions with your wife.etc. You know working late doesn't achieve more and I suspect much of the time you are not actually working just going over and over things that either have happened or are in the future. Plans and ambition are good obsession is not. 

getmore4less

Crazy thing is it the overwork that has stopped you from even starting to get to the "next level" whatever that really means.

You still have it in your head working long hours was good, can't you see it did nothing to progress the business if anything it set it back, same thing is going to start happening if you continue like this.

Still a big lack of trust to just let the staff take on the work, especially if they are asking for more give it to them, by now senior people should be sharing the top level stuff and even getting a share of the business so they have a stake in its success beyond a salary. 

I suspect the business has already grown too big for you and you need help at the higher level, more mentors and maybe get some director level people on board that can help with the strategy and growth, scaling up big time is not a one person job. 

The really successful people get there by delegating just about everything and managing the growth and direction letting their people get on with the jobs that bring in the money.

The place has shown it can run itself for the day to day for quite extended periods you should be capitalising on that.


You have the Greece trip that's the time to relax, unwind and recharge.

Spending a shed load on rehab is a waste of money if you don't put the basics that were working back in place, less work, more family.

getmore4less

SanguineGina said:

alt80 said:

Day 119, 17 weeks today. 

I’m totally whacked; weekends, we go somewhere and last weekend my wife just left me to sleep in the car. There’s something wrong with me .. 

alt, when you factor in that you are using enormous reserves of mental energy on fighting cravings & staying clean, and that your mind and body is still getting use to functioning without the stimulant of cocaine, and on top of that you aren't getting regular quality amounts of decent sleep, then it is no wonder that you crash sometimes and just sleep the sleep of the exhausted.

There is nothing wrong with you, alt,  honestly, and in time things will improve on how energy sapping the above is.  Lack of decent sleep will always impede anyone's ability to function effectively and enhance the feeling like crap sleep deficit hangover.

Btw, I get the bonkers 7 fig house box ticking goal totally.  And I get that even if you weigh it all up and can see that it doesn't stack up logically, that it still remains a goal.  I get that totally.

the bonkers bit is it has to a purchase  not just own.

The smart people modify the goal along the lines of buy a £1/2m home and turn it into £1m home.

Purplelady65

Do you know how many hours you are working in a week? If not, maybe keep a record and also set a limit so you are keeping yourself from overworking. I agree with the OPs that all this checking of figures, wish lists, going over past events, dealing with recriminations e.t.c. must be exhausting and also stressful so it’s not surprising you feel tired as well as working too many hours. 

I’m also wondering if the impending holiday is a factor behind this dip? Re your comments that your wife and in-laws don’t think you’re good enough for a 7 figure house you must know that’s not the case. You’ve said previously that your in-laws think that you would just be putting yourself under too much pressure and stress with a bigger mortgage and would be better off just staying where you are in an already lovely house. I’m sure your parents don’t think you should just give up on life either. Again it’s the link between your self-esteem and material possessions which unfortunately is still there for you. 

theoretica

alt80 said:

Tbh I am taking the approach of staying clean and not spending is all I need to do rn.

Have you discussed that with the pros? I think you need to, and also that your addiction is making you think there were good points to being on the stuff - there weren't.  Not for you and not for your business.

And all the people telling you they think you should drop the aim for the £1 million purchase - there is a big difference between something you will not be able to do and something you should not do.  If people thought you would not be able to do it, there would be no point in trying to persuade you not to. 

stymied

“Tbh I am taking the approach of staying clean and not spending is all I need to do rn.”

This is 100% not all you need to do especially not in the run up to your holiday - you need extra support and you need to go back to what does work for you - engaging fully in your recovery. Your business and family will both suffer if you carry on down your current path.

Or to put it bluntly, stop being a !!!!!! 😂

Bargainhunter30

Alt are you depressed? When I feel down and mentally struggling, I tend to focus on something too much, like moving house. I feel exhausted and can't find enjoyment in things i have previously.  I agree that you need to focus on the therapy side to get you in the right mindset. If the house is something you really want, then in a few years when you are in a better financial position, it is something you should consider. But I think focusing on it now is having a really negative affect on you.

JGB1955

I'm just a bystander but it seems to me that you are sinking into an abyss.  Stop trying to hide away.... you need to stop work at 5:00 on a Friday and ignore it until 9:00 on Monday.  I very much doubt that you 'working' outside those hours is productive...it's even possible that your employees are having to pick up the 'mess' after the event.  Give yourself a break.... pretty please?