First Steps to Solvency

Legs21

Day 76 ✅ These days are absolutely flying. Are you finding it’s going quickly too? 

The more anxious you are about doing things the more you enjoy them when you do do them. I’m sure your son is toilet trained, able to walk/run unaided, talk in full sentences, can eat and drink on his own, can tell you if he’s hot, cold, comfortable, in pain, hungry or thirsty. Basically, he doesn’t really need you to do anything for him other than be there with him. Write down a list of things you both want to do for the day and see how many you can cross off the list. Make sure you take selfies of the pair of you to capture the memory of your day out, even if you’re both pulling silly faces. 

Pull your big girl pants up and just get on with it, you’ll be absolutely fine 🙂

stymied

Take carrier bags to sit on on the way home in case you fall in the sea / a puddle / get attacked by a giant chocolate ice cream. And baby wipes and cereal bars - they fix lots of problems.

alt80

Day 76 and pleased to report the MG made it to the coast and back, worried about nothing it was a flawless run. Managed the day for 3/4 tank of petrol, £7 on coffee, £2.50 on ice cream and £20 on lunch. No tat bought or even looked at. Had a great day but I've been in bits this evening. I know my boy deserves so much better and that I've missed out on a lot. Such a !!!!!! mess earlier I didn't get the work done that I'd planned to do this evening; my staff tell me to have some time off - really struggling with that at the moment, the business is the only 'normality' I have rn. Lucky to be able to rely on them I know I never forget that.

alt80

@RelievedSheff day itself was brilliant tbh thanks

@getmore4less ha didn't see that but yeah def a good test. You're right re business I am lucky in one respect there I don't 'need' to work as much as I do idk you possibly know what it's like - don't want to just carry on coasting and can be as little as spending a day or two a week or seven days a week. At the moment I am working a lot.

Ultimately I think if anything ever happened to my wife he'd be better with his grandparents - they are better for him than me. Had to smile re not needing to draw so much though ha fml true lol - opportunities for more units quicker though. Look on bright side.

@enthusiasticsaver something going on with my head definitely mate idk my head is in a complete different place to before. I suppose I haven't really had much of a life outside of work. All I !!!!!! know is work/ spending and spending time doing coke got pretty sad last few years using for the wrong reasons. Didn't really go out out that much and hadn't for quite a long time really mainly just hanging out in my comm office look back I think I really was a !!!!!! sad act in some ways. Idk keep looking forward rather than back is where I need to be focused. 

@Legs21 it's odd sometimes feels like 5 days passed sometimes like 5yrs ha. So either seems like time has moved very quickly or not at all. Few other people said the same thing to me. 

My son was absolutely fine thank you. 

@stymied thankfully didn't get too filthy lol but not a bad idea tbf.

Legs21

Glad you had a good time with your son.

You need to stop working yourself into the ground. It doesn’t benefit the business, your family or your mental health. You have a good team in place so you need to step back a bit and let them get on with it. I’m not sure if you’re using work as an escape mechanism from having to deal with real life. 

Future you will look back at now and wish you’d spent less time working and more time with your son and family. 

getmore4less

alt80 said:

Day 76 and pleased to report the MG made it to the coast and back, worried about nothing it was a flawless run. Managed the day for 3/4 tank of petrol, £7 on coffee, £2.50 on ice cream and £20 on lunch. No tat bought or even looked at. Had a great day but I've been in bits this evening. I know my boy deserves so much better and that I've missed out on a lot. Such a !!!!!! mess earlier I didn't get the work done that I'd planned to do this evening; my staff tell me to have some time off - really struggling with that at the moment, the business is the only 'normality' I have rn. Lucky to be able to rely on them I know I never forget that.

Good you had the day out and back home safe using the MG.

A bit of a cliche these days but you are in the process of creating a "new normal" for you that is a more balance between  work and life. 

We have been over this before you become a lot less productive with long hours(on or off the substances) and you have to let real life get in the way when it needs to.

Yesterday was one of those days, ran out of time to get the planned work done, it can wait.

I think you really need to review your work schedule as you have too much in it, when you are maxed out there is no capacity for planning and cover should that be needed.

Reflecting on the past is inevitable but regressing back to work and the office is counter productive when you can give that time to family like you did today, that's what is important.


11 weeks today

RelievedSheff

Fantastic that you had a great day out with your son and the MG. You need more days like those.

As others have said above you really do need to address your work/life balance as your recovery continues.

It sounds like you have a great team of staff so let them get on with the job to give you more time to concentrate on you and your family.

maggiem

Very pleased to read your day out went well. It sounds like you both enjoyed yourselves. Success! 

So why, having had a lovely day both of you, are you beating yourself up again in the evening? You cannot control what has happened in the past, only what happens in the present and the future. Kids are funny creatures, as others have said the things they remember may not be what you expect! 

As Beanielou would say, keep plodding! You re doing well and should recognise that. 

Sun_Addict

I’m glad the day with your son went well. When I was your age my kids were 14 and 16. 7 year olds are a doddle in comparison believe me 😆

SanguineGina

Another happy to read that you had a great day with your son; when you look back in a few years, alt, you will have the memories you are making now to be glad of and hopefully they will replace some of your regrets about the past.

And it's brilliant that today will be 11 weeks clean - congratulations for doing so well with your recovery.