First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@BalanceBy50 my wife keeps saying something similar. Idk just anxious. Weird thoughts really and issues with myself.

@mark55man might have to get it - read a few books from recommendation on here.



Shouldnt be up at this time absolutely massive anxiety bordering on panic and absolutely no idea why. No reason for it and wonder why sometimes I can’t function. Wife back sleeping in my bedroom for a few weeks I don’t want to wake her so wound up in her bedroom haha I won’t sleep just don’t want to disturb her. Just spent some time reading about Afghanistan- what is !!!!!! wrong with the world?

alt80

Day 74 - just had to check that, can hardly believe it but I’ve got this far. Only spends should be planned spends (food) and wife is going to do our roast chicken for dinner later. Utterly terrible night’s sleep- my wife is right shouldn’t have been up reading the news on my phone and thinking about what is going on doesn’t really help me I know do keep thinking about it, it’s !!!!!! madness. I really thought or certainly hoped my son wouldn’t grow up in a world with this kind of !!!!!! going on tbh really puts into perspective owing a bit of money to Land Rover and staying away from self destructive stuff doesn’t really mean I’m hard done by, !!!!!! lucky they’re my only problems really.

RelievedSheff

Well done on getting to Day 74. The slow and steady one day at a time routine seems to work really well for you.

Try not to worry about the sleep. You just need to get into a bed time routine, much as you would have done as a child and try to have a set time to start getting ready for bed so that your body knows it is time to start winding down. The sleep will come in time.

alt80

@RelievedSheff seems to be working this time idk why engaging with pros ready to just grow the !!!!!! up maybe ha. Even my Mrs said it’s day 75 tomorrow she is happy about that and going to cook a three course meal. She’s really enjoying her food rn and I take no !!!!!! persuading lol. 

My sleep is terrible generally tbh I was in bed just couldn’t sleep then spend too long reading the news and couldn’t !!!!!! sleep after reading that. Wife does the whole sleep routine thing always has and sleeps very well but she can switch off and I can’t - more I try worse it is.

warby68

alt80 said:

Day 73 - absolutely smashed it today. Day with friends, got the cars out, Sunday roast out which I hadn't planned but our friends had booked a table so we had a run out to Derbyshire. Absolutely cracking meal and kept it alcohol free. We'll have our roast chicken tomorrow but my turn to organise something for next month - Sunday drive and roast dinner out. My turn to pay too no such thing as a free lunch haha. Managed to spend a bit of time working this evening. Do need to keep it in check I know it's getting a bit obsessive again I'm getting the panic if I do absolutely nothing.

Planning to have a day off in the week and drive son to coast. Wife said I should leave the laptop at my comm office and we should have a day out just the two of us and take the MG, he'd love that but idk it's a very old car - well sorted and I know my mate has done trips around Scotland in it tbf but I'm not sure I trust it. Tbh would prefer my Mrs came and we took the Range Rover, shared the driving and know we're going to get there and back. She made me laugh told me she'd fill the car and can eat in Starbucks on the way (I'm allowed to have the Starbucks card loaded up ha) so I won't need any money on my person fml yeah that's going to go down well son wants a !!!!!! ice cream and I've got to tell him no. First time in a while I thought I do need to get myself some sort of access to my own !!!!!! money haha.

@mark55man thanks mate. That really relates re recovery - I don't read enough really apart from a bit of non-fiction but I really enjoyed a bedtime read and a chamomile tea in bed when I was at the rehab. !!!!!! miss those days sometimes, sounds ridiculous I'm sure but I have never been anywhere so peaceful in my life, no cares in the world it was !!!!!! blissful for last week or so.

Ha I !!!!!! loved the cartoon lol thanks and I think you could be onto something there re my Mrs. 

@warby68 My son's school has a lot of similar opportunities as he goes through the years with bursaries / scholarships etc as the years go on not something I think we will be eligible for though tbh - either from a financial or performance perspective so in my calcs I have accounted for always been a full fee payer. It's likewise not a snobby school ha my mate's kids go to that type of place proper old boarding school £30k+ a year job and he's got 2 kids. Him and his ex-Mrs hardly see the kids term time not a !!!!!! chance my Mrs would stand for that even if I could afford to send him tbh doesn't really sit right with me either for some reason idk why as I do appreciate the opportunities those kids have are next level so def have a bit of guilt I'm not in any position to go down that road at least until my Range Rover is paid for and then tbh I don't think I would. 

As you're aware I've been there for a long time with the large commitments; school and otherwise never known any different personally always been financially stretched. How you finding having the spare cash now they're older? Kept drawing or left retained? Tbh I'm so !!!!!! afraid of having spare personal money I plan to just keep more retained and just take out what extra is needed when I double my res mortgage. Wife thinks I'm sticking with current drawings but I don't see the point when I won't have the Range Rover and credit card commitments. Only feel safe when my personal money in its entirety is committed haha.

Only finished last year and we're still supporting 2 at uni. Some retained and chucking more at the mortgage this year. Hopefully we'll get back to travel and new cars in a year or two. We don't have a lot of extra cash sloshing around as such  as the regular drawings/my salary cover the regular outgoings and extras are drawn as and when so always subject to a bit of consideration first. 

It is a bit funny to hear friends complaining about having to shell out for uni when to us its suddenly quite cheap. It really does all depend what your perspective is.

Get a day trip in with your son. Perfect chance to start him off with some pocket money. He could even have £20 to match yours and you can choose together !! Why are you so worried about it just being him and you? 

RelievedSheff

I think a day out with your son at the coast would be a great idea. Also agree that starting your son with some pocket money is a good idea.

If you take your £20 and your son takes say £10 then you should be able to have a lovely day out, get some lunch and a sweet treat and have some change in your pocket at the end of the day. 

alt80

@warby68 it never ends lol. That’s the road I want to go down re bit more consideration over purchases when I have less ongoing monthly commitments tbh. Said before I’m not going to turn into some complete miser I haven’t stopped liking nice things am never going to stop but need more balance in my life getting too old to keep constantly running up six figure debts without thinking it through.

That X6 still makes me smile lol.

My res mortgage is on repayment so don’t feel the need to clear additional capital only add to it haha cheapest rate finance you’ll ever have.

Uni is def cheaper than school if you are letting them rack a student loan up and just topping up but not so sure if you’re paying c£9k/a in tuition fees plus say £1k/m allowance or whatever idk. Not really something I’ve thought about - a long time away. Tbh I worked and I’ll expect my son to, don’t think it does people good to not have a job. 

@warby68 / @RelievedSheff Re my son it makes me anxious in case he needs something and wife is not there. My Mrs thinks this is !!!!!! hilarious after 7 years but the sense of responsibility is like nothing else can’t really describe it ha.

The coast is a very, very long way from here and wife has this !!!!!! crazy idea we can go in the MG which my son would love; it’s 55 years old and its completely !!!!!! tripping me off. I know it should be fine, wouldn’t bother me on my own but I don’t really want to risk it with my son in the car. He’d !!!!!! love having some pocket money lol made him plan our trip to the RHS garden told him couldn’t go if he can’t make the figures stack kept his brain working whilst he’s not at school ha and he !!!!!! loved it - he’s a strange lad lol.

Sun_Addict

The east coast is less than 2 hours away. Which coast were you thinking of going to?

alt80

@Sun_Addict yeah east coast. Thinking Lincoln stop for coffee and walk round, head over to quiet beach and an hour looking at the tat in Skeggy and a drive back to NG. Will be ok in Range Rover but it’s a !!!!!! mission in a 55 year old car mate. Long way for my Mrs to come out if needed in the EQC if there’s no chargers that way or MG if I take the Range Rover. EQC should make it there and back tbf but if she’s been out in it idk. Miss my F-type with stuff like this cropping up or just overthinking it maybe idk.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@Sun_Addict yeah east coast. Thinking Lincoln stop for coffee and walk round, head over to quiet beach and an hour looking at the tat in Skeggy and a drive back to NG. Will be ok in Range Rover but it’s a !!!!!! mission in a 55 year old car mate. Long way for my Mrs to come out if needed in the EQC if there’s no chargers that way or MG if I take the Range Rover. EQC should make it there and back tbf but if she’s been out in it idk. Miss my F-type with stuff like this cropping up or just overthinking it maybe idk.

The MG will be fine.

You are driving to Skeg not the moon!!