First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

I doubt the MG will break down but if it does it will be a lesson to you both in how to cope when something does not go to plan.Go for it. It will be an adventure in itself.

SanguineGina

alt80 said:

I'm definitely stressing the what ifs mainly the what if he needs his mum. One of the best days of my life was taking my son and dog out just before the Tier 3 lockdown. My wife sprung it on me we were going alone just me the boy and the dog that day and I didn't want to let him down. I know I shouldn't be so !!!!!! anxious to spend the whole day alone with my own son but I am. Just want him to have the best day.

He will have the best day, no matter what happens - and as others have pointed out, things going not as planned add to the excitement of the adventure for children! (Might stress the parents out but hey that's life)

Let's look at what your main stress is - that your son might need his mum.  Assuming there are no specific issues that only his mum could deal with, not prying btw just making that assumption, then honestly absolutely everything else dad will be fine for. And say that for whatever reason your son is inconsolable and dad hugs aren't working their magic to reassure/calm/soothe him, well then you would simply face time/ video call your wife and she could work the mummy magic that way.  So now you can reassure your own anxiety a little that if your main stress happens, it is solvable.

Can't wait to read your write up that it p*ssed down all day and the car blew up on the way back but that your son said it was the best day ever.😜

It will be brilliant fun for your son whatever happens.  And nothing bad is going to happen.

alt80

Made it to day 75. Wife and I had a nice night in. She deleted a couple of apps today that are always sending her notifications. I've been busy with the job but not doing well with the panic; does go off a bit when I'm working so am finding things to do in addition to what needs to be done ha. 

alt80

@Purplelady65 yeah I am getting too anxious about it tbh part of me laughs at myself - he's my son shouldn't be like this I know. Once a month sounds like a lot though not sure I can do that though iswyacf. 

@dawnybabes ha fml they are funny lol. 

@theoretica tbh I had been thinking about just taking him to the beach have a long walk then come back lot more peaceful. 

stymied

Don’t forget your bucket and spade - he’s not too old yet! Maybe a net to look in rock pools? A kite is fun if it’s not too crowded.

alt80

@getmore4less idk I don't think she sees that mate. 

Re other I always thought if something ever happened to my wife, my son would have to live with my in-laws I wouldn't be able to look after him full time and it wouldn't be fair to him not nice to have to acknowledge that but ultimately I'd have to do what would be best for him. 

I do need to work towards fixing the anxiety tbf.

@warby68 can remember a few similar events as a kid myself. It's my head - I want everything to be right for him even though I know life a. doesn't work like that and b. not even good for him anyway to be shielded. Idk I've been the same with my Mrs in someways always tried to shield her from life generally.

My son does clubs at school. We would be happy for him to take up a club outside school and I appreciate it would be a different environment for him - something we have looked into tbf and wife is prepared to take him but I couldn't - they are generally quite early on in the evening.

Lol you're probably right re me being a 'learner adult' in some regard fml.

@RelievedSheff you're almost tempting me mate lol. 

@SanguineGina haha thanks you're probably right tbf.

alt80

@stymied my son would love all of that!

RelievedSheff

Well done on getting through Day 75, Day 76 today. Only a couple of weeks and you have got to 90 day

You will feel a lot better about the day out with your son once you have set off. It will be good for you both a bit of together time.

getmore4less

if the MG won't make it to the coats and back should you even be considering buying it.
A beach run is good test for any pre purchase decision.

Not convinced by the dump the kid on the inlaws.

Will need their help, but if something did happen to the wife you will have the time to do most of the work, your business can pretty much run itself and you can get people in to help cover what you do now that takes up so much time.
You also won't need to draw so much out without the wife's spending needs  

enthusiasticsaver

If the MG is unreliable then don't buy it but I think it is more your anxiety than anything catastrophising. If you are that concerned use the RR. I also do not think a plan involving dumping your son on the inlaws if anything happened to your wife is a good one.  Lets  face it the situation is unlikely to arise anyway. 

I think you are only just getting to grips with being a good family man and adult as presumably up until recently the drugs have altered your behaviour and mindset and only when you are clean does the real you appear. You may make mistakes, we all do, but you will learn.