First Steps to Solvency

Willowtree222

Another who thought she was in the wrong diary when I read the AM comment and the birthday.

day 62 and you’re doing amazing. 

We do change as we learn from our experiences and there's a huge shift in you. You might not hit the AM now but based on your comments, I don’t think you’d be as disappointed as you was a few months back. 

Could you put in another centre parcs? It sounded like your son thought it was incredible and you got a lot from it too. 

Sun_Addict

I agree with what the others have said, you sound like a different person and it's consistent now, not a few days sounding normal and then off the rails for a few days. You must feel so much better for it. Brilliant achievement.

Kakiste

For a cheaper alternative to centre parks I absolutely love Airbnb- booked some incredible houses all over the UK for a fraction of the cost of centre parks or a hotel. There are loads based in forests, posh tree houses or that come with their own saunas/hot tubs etc 

Your birthday plans sound lovely

Purplelady65

I agree with everyone else - you sound so much happier, grounded and content with life. Going back to your early posts you came across as a very unhappy, angry and arrogant man but somewhere underneath it all a decent person with a desire to change and be a better person. It’s really quite remarkable the shift you’ve made in your thinking and attitude. You should be really proud of what you’ve achieved in the last few months. I think if you went back and started reading your diary from the beginning you would hardly recognise yourself! 

alt80

Day 62 through. No spends at all. Had a really difficult session with the pros had to call them this afternoon after the session. Talked about the financial impact of what's happened to me in the past 5 or so years. I've said before on here I was on track to be doing really well for myself at one point and I know things still are ok and I am grateful to still be in the fortunate position I am. However hindsight is a !!!!!! !!!!!! and I'd be lying if I said today was easy to get through. Managed to get most work done planned at home but I got in a bad way after the session however I'm not jeopardising 62 days clean for no other reason than being disappointed in myself, no one else. Not sure I'll ever be able to fully let it go that I had a !!!!!! complete mental became a massive cokehead, spent like a madman with no !!!!!! regard for value and let my business and my family suffer. Have had a better evening at least; been out with my family for a walk and spent an hour in my garden sketching - yeah would have thought nothing more lame than that ha.

alt80

Thanks all, still looking forward to birthday - need to book hotel. Might have a look on airbnb but depends on what's on offer. Don't much like the idea of going to someone's house that's very much someone's home which you do get with airbnb - not for me. Something like one of the tree houses etc sound good though so will have to see what's about. 

Look at doing another CP break in December for lead up to Christmas tbf I've left the Mrs on that one will ask her over next few days or probably be sold out. Might just do local NG one - break without the long drive. 

I am generally a lot better, it's a constant battle though tbh I'm being monitored by pros all the time don't know how people do it without the support I have which I know is more than most and whilst today not been so great but got this far, just need to get on and get through. Tomorrow will be a better one and tbh I'm pleased for making better choices. Like to think when I put my mind to it I get things done.

Sun_Addict

That’s the old you and all in the past now, we all learn by our mistakes. Let go of the past but keep the lessons it taught you.

alt80

I wasn't in a great place and hadn't been for a long time. Someone on here ages ago asked what changed from considering bigger purchases when I was younger and thinking it through etc. I don't know what I !!!!!! became at times def nothing good and 100 spent too much time with someone I regarded a mate for far too long. Look back on it sober and I miss the guy's dad more than I miss him, used to have some brilliant conversations about property/ business lol still got a lot of time for him tbt. I keep learning from all those lessons @Sun_Addict I'll be a !!!!!! wise rich man one day ha !!!!!! ha.

@Willowtree222 I still like my cars just not sure something I run the risk of being banned from the roads every time I use it is the greatest of plans ha.

Legs21

Day 62 ✅

I don’t think you’d be disappointed, I think you’d be devastated if you broke this clean day run. No problem, issue or argument is worth breaking it for. You’ll have good days and bad days, but it’s how you deal with them that makes all the difference. 

Like @Sun_Addict said let go of the past. Regret is a heavy burden to carry. I’m sure we’d all do things differently if we could go back in time. 

alt80

@Legs21 I can’t go back to it and I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to do it again and do everything I can to stay on track that is my number 1 priority above work / family/ debt payback because I go back on the chang everything else I put at risk. Caught myself hurting myself (not even related to drugs or spending but just a few moments generally being self destructive) and I called the pros. 

You are 100% right re past regrets I work with the pros on this - have to believe I’ll get there. Keep doing the right things, catch myself when I’m doing the wrong things, get myself onto the right path and / or put the roadblocks in place. I’ve got into the taking each day/ hour/ minute at a time idea. Make myself do something off my ever !!!!!! mounting lists distraction works for me so I’m not knocking it, just keep my brain busied with something productive/ calm lol.