First Steps to Solvency

alt80

My head is !!!!!! screwed tonight. Have had most of the day off from work, done some work but generally !!!!!! struggling. Busy with work and always next thing to find to do but I'm avoiding making a priority of family time, actively trying to avoid them again getting the son deserves better than me thoughts. No money to go and do anything really !!!!!! stupid thank god but have spent too much time staring at my personal finance numbers then flicking to units numbers and business numbers today and caught myself doing it again just. Not even looking for any miracle - there isn't - I know I just need to work through the slog, just looking at the figures letting !!!!!! negative thoughts wash over me.

RelievedSheff

Pu the figures away. You can't change them, no point going over them again and again.

Try and spend some quality time with your family instead this week and if you can work to set hours. You work far too hard and will burn yourself out again if you are not careful.

Day 60 today. That is a massive achievement. 

alt80

Day 60. Thank you @RelievedSheff it does feel like a bit of a moment. I’m really pleased tbh. Not had a bad sleep went to bed after the stupid thoughts and put my audio book on. Woke up with my wife next to me things not been great between her and I she had a bad sleep last night. Idk how but I’ve slept well. Whole Covid situ is tripping me off this morning a bit it’s wife’s sister and now husband both positive, both been jabbed twice and both are generally careful. Wife is concerned too tbh I’m not sure she should be having these kids around over the next week. It’s bad in NG or seems to be.

Busy day on the work front but I’m going to try to cut it at 6pm ish. Try to at least walk my dog with my son and read to him. 

getmore4less

Best not to avoid family, if you must get away from the wife take the son out and do something with him.

Not the best weather but maybe another MG mate day out is in order.

Another strategy when the wife is playing up is to see if the inlaws have some time. 

day 60  ✅  new week, 
Get the planning done for the works side and give yourself business thinking time and home time.


Was thinking about the wife and courses,  maybe get her on a detailing course so she can clean the cars properly. 

RelievedSheff

There does seem to be a fair bit of Covid around at the moment. But on the plus side for those who are double jabbed and for younger people and children who are not jabbed it should be a mild case and more of an inconvenience rather than a major health problem.

Guess it should be expected that cases will rise as more of society reopens. We can't stay hidden away from the world forever.

They will start giving the booster jabs to older people before much longer to give them some added winter protection from Covid. I don't think we will go back to lock downs unless we get massively high numbers this winter and the NHS is at risk of being overwhelmed.  

warby68

Day 60 is excellent

Riding out last night's wobble and a generally rubbish few days on the home front rather than spiralling shows how far you've come.

Covid seems to be everywhere at the moment - we're hearing of loads of friends and family testing positive but thankfully noone seriously ill. 

Try and reset the work/home balance a bit this week. I think a 6pm cut off sounds good - still time for son but a decent full work day if you need it. You can't do too many 'mad' weeks in a row - you need to avoid the burnout. You'll need some time to check out the milk float this week as well won't you? Maybe plan something around that - son could choose the first outing.

getmore4less

re : covid.

There is a real issue with respiratory infections that have been very much higher than the norm for the summer,
Looks like it is the schools that are the spreading zone(RSV graph page 14 on link below).

Bit early to tell if the schools finishing is what is causing the drop in numbers but Scotland they started to drop a couple of weeks sooner when they closed their schools.

The story for long covid is still not clear for the young and the vaxed I still think it is best not to get it.

One significant change is the age pyramid of hospitalizations has changed towards the younger groups.
there is a good graph pg 50 link below a week behind(up to 25th July) that shows the 4 weeks around the peak and now.

Numbers are a lot lower also the relative risk to older people has gone down a lot.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1007251/Weekly_COVID-19_and_Influenza_Surveillance_Graphs_W30.pdf


As your sons school is on different schedules you probably need to think more local.
I would insist on regular testing still for the kids that are coming to yours and mixing, also how likely is it for parents to still dump the kids on you  even if there is a positive case in the house.

Did the wife's sister not just spend a long weekend with the PIL at CP, they need to get tested as close contacts and should isolate until they are  cleared.




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Legs21

Day 60 ✅

Are you finding the cravings are not as strong now or just less frequent? 

Re COVID- I think a lot of us are still anxious and cautious about going out. I only go out food shopping and running with my girlie running friends. Nowhere near going out as much as I used to pre COVID.

Keep at it with the wife’s spending, she wouldn’t leave if you cut the credit limit on the card. Idle threats to see how far she can push you.  

Stay strong 🙂

alt80

Day 60 through really quite proud of myself that I've got here. It has happened before but not on any kind of regular occasion and 100% in a 'dry drunk' way rather than any real attempt at long term abstinence. 

No spends off plan and a nice evening with wife and son. Got out for a dog walk, generally had a busy / productive but nice day. Wife always in a better frame of mind when I choose to come home rather than working through. I'm completely whacked so going to have an early one bed about 10.30pm and put my audio book on. Wife has said she's doing the same actually be a married couple for once go to bed together haha. She made me a nice meal for dinner and day 60 so got my treat in the end ha. She doesn't have any faith I'll move on for good !!!!!! breaks me what I've put her through over the years I know I was at times not nice to live with. No !!!!!! wonder she sees me as good for the money and little else told her its got to change or we don't really have a relationship in the sense we both want. Bit too !!!!!! much for a Monday ha. 

@getmore4less I know re avoiding family I can get a bit obsessed with the work caught myself and stuck with the plan today. 

Funny you should mention him he messaged me today, going to do something not this weekend but next if the weather isn't too awful or if it is just have a roast dinner here. Avoiding inlaws with covid situ - they are all waiting for the PCR test results. 

Re detailing - she'd do well with that, got a good eye for it and does a lot !!!!!! better job on the cars than I do. Would take her two/ three days solid to do Range Rover that'd keep her out of trouble haha. 

@getmore4less / Re Covid thanks had a look at the doc fml Nottingham city bright !!!!!! red haha rest of county alright. Tbh I didn't really care about it before thought I wouldn't get it and if I did I'd be fine etc Shouldn't have been allowed to lock down etc but recently idk I really don't want to take risks with it or put my family anywhere near it.

@warby68 thank you and likewise - idk seems a lot more around here than ever before. 

Yeah I can't carry on just working all !!!!!! hours indefinitely used to think I could but I can't. Ha re milk float tbf my son is excited about it so I'll have to pretend I care lol. It's actually a nice car or would be if it had a proper engine.

bookworm_nat123

Just an extra thought for when you need to get away from your wife. Can you grab your son and go to a good old simple playground with him? Doesn't have to cost anything then and you get away from her and the negative thoughts? He would love the time with you. 

Well done on day 60! Thats incredible!