First Steps to Solvency

enthusiasticsaver

It sounds like your wife is torn between wanting you to succeed and fail.  If you fail she is hoping you will go back to treating her and when you succeed she is telling you that you are a rubbish husband for wanting to keep within budget.  It is like she never grew up.  Acceptable from a teenager but not a 30 year old wife and mother.  I am not surprised you are wanting to keep away at the moment.  You do not need the stress. 

A number of light bulbs seem to have gone on in your head.  You have realised you earn a well above average salary and if you can only get the overspending under control and the credit card debt gone you would be very secure financially.  You also seem to finally get that life is not all about buying stuff. Almost at day 60 now so that is great.  Stick at it in spite of your wife causing you problems. The milk float is a necessary evil to help you sort out the debt.  

Grumpelstiltskin

Alt Thinking about the milk float, I don't  think they are exempt in the bus lanes.

CCTV Bus Lane and Camera Enforcement - Nottingham City Council

alt80

@getmore4less that’s my plan. I’ll do something if I get to 90 100% which I’m hoping I will. What idk but that would be a massive milestone for me.

Eating out I agree tbh mate lot of places aren’t great value tbh lot of them both my Mrs and I can cook just as nice a meal at home. Better in some cases. Know the Starbucks is a rip off too before anyone says that not managed to give it up yet though might get there some day. Bigger fish to fry and that now ha.

We’ve enjoyed our weekends away thinking about one more before end of the year. 

Haha fml re the milk float. 

@enthusiasticsaver I need to give my wife a job to do. Been down that road many times before - no !!!!!! chance I know. 

!!!!!! the cards off and get my Range Rover paid for things will be alright. Ok rn tbh not like we’re living on beans on toast in a two up two down but my Mrs doesn’t see it like that. I know if I properly didn’t have any money I’d have no family either my only worth to her is to keep turning the money and give her a lifestyle at least to an extent, I’m under no illusion otherwise and I know that’s why she’s still with me. 

Milk float def a means to an end albeit a good option from a tax point of view and something I should take advantage of really. 

@Grumpelstiltskin fml you made me look that up someone told me it was all bus lanes but it’s just daleside road. Was actually looking forward to life in the bus lanes ha. Only thing about the car I was thinking might be good so thanks for ruining it, better than finding out with a load of fines though haha.

stymied

Maybe next time you could take DS out rather than retreating to your office?

What’s the minimum that could be spent in one go on cocaine? You can afford to allow yourself that much access to money, maybe check in on spends once a week rather than every day that way?

Did Mrs Alt end up joining the tennis club?

Do the gym coach courses come round every so often? If so it might be a good thing for her to save up for in a separate bank account. You could offer to match fund whatever she saves towards it from extra nails / monthly allowance / thrifty meal planning. I know it doesn’t immediately sound like it contributes to your debt reduction goals but anything you can do to teach money skills has to help long term. I don’t know what to do about the fact the monthly budget for the whole year and then some has already been blown but it’s just an idea.

I’m most worried about Christmas spending but hasn’t that usually started by now?

Are you still sure the recent purchases aren’t to feed the Instagram addiction? Remember that plenty of spending that you weren’t responsible for used to happen on makeup and unused trainers.

alt80

@stymied I should really. Have spent the afternoon with my family. Think of them coming as a pair probably more than I should ha 

I don’t want to allow myself access to personal money. I need to at some point, yeah. Now isn’t the right time, I’m doing ok at the moment- I’m not sure whether I would be where I am had I the access to money tbh. 

She’s gone back to the gym but hasn’t joined tennis. It was something she wanted to do as a family. Re gym course yeah can do it a fair few times a year I think. She does these courses every now and again something to do and meet people basically nothing about professional dev if it was I’d be different about it. She’s no interest in working. All this saving for stuff is !!!!!! stupid when in my position - whatever money I can is going on meeting the deadlines. We get extra money it’s paid off the cards - if things are put on the 0% with a longer deadline then not the end of my world (on plan / within reason). I hate money sat in accounts when it could be off the cards tbh. 

Ha you’re not the only one re Christmas- she has bought a few bits (on plan) but very limited so far. I managed to !!!!!! kill Christmas last year think she’s avoiding it tbh ha. Im just hoping it goes away quietly lol no !!!!!! chance really. 

She’s back on IG ‘for the duration of love island’ apparently; taken that with a pinch of salt. She put the Celine bag on IG but nothing much else. Too busy making videos this week about choosing a more ‘environmentally sustainable’ way of life - basically telling her 600 friends and family what a responsible parent she is for buying the EQC, protecting the planet for our sons generation one !!!!!! battery charge at a time.

alt80

Calling that day 59.

Just found out one of the wife's siblings has covid, had both jabs too fml. Should be ok all being well, relatively young/ both jabs etc but that's another person I know with covid or self isolating. Tbh I'm more concerned about it now than ever before. Seems really bad around NG currently. I can see us all being in lockdown again over the winter.

Really cold again here and another busy one planned for the coming week. Know I need to lay off the work a bit - it is getting a bit obsessive, struggling to switch off, catching myself not wanting to eat etc. Weather looking !!!!!! for this week ahead, wife has got the kids from school over this week and plans to entertain them a few days (one already booked). Son is going to Alton Towers not this week but next for a day with the !!!!!! who calls me a 'jumped up estate agent'. I !!!!!! hate my son being anywhere near those parents but their son is fine according to my wife and he is one of my son's best mates so is what it is. Get the wife moaning jumped up estate agent !!!!!! is going with them to AT so why can't I go with her to some of the activities she's got planned !!!!!! nagging me. Just a !!!!!! rant ha kids activities are generally costing money but getting back some value when the other parents takes my son on their days out at least ha.

getmore4less

Doing courses to meet people, what's she on?

People do them to improve their ability to make money.

Xmas work on it around family/PIL

Preempt by making the choice s early.

Even consider an away option might not be cheap but ring fences the costs.

alt80

@getmore4less yeah that's why I'd do a course too mate but not her. When she did the nails course at college the girls were excited about their plans at the end of the course (as you would be ha) and there she was !!!!!! sobbing like a baby because they were all moving on asked me to pick her up because she was in no state to drive. Never !!!!!! forget that one. Most of these girls were about 20 if that, wife was 27/28 at the time. After that she booked onto three system courses (effectively brands that flog you a load of kit and have to buy all their !!!!!! products along with £500-1k per course) just to give away !!!!!! entirely free sets of nails mainly to the girls she'd gone to college with. Same !!!!!! !!!!!! with the PT stuff she's done, course ends all the people on the course do what normal people do and get a job and there she is crying like it's the last !!!!!! day of primary school.

I had considered Centre Parcs for lead up to Xmas, maybe Lapland next year but def not this with covid situ - can't see wife allowing me to take her away from her family for main event though mate ha. 

stymied

I don’t think it’s so weird enjoying learning new things and meeting new people where there’s something in common to talk about. I’ve definitely been to night school in the past for that. It’s just the difference between treating it as a hobby and a professional qualification. Surely the only real issue is the cost?

alt80

@stymied yeah I suppose some people do that idk tbh I'm !!!!!! annoyed with her probably still in no mindset to be objective. The time with the pros and her was !!!!!! awful this past week tbh tried to block it out; think she probably has too.