First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@dawnybabesDon’t work quite so much now tbf but had a lot of years putting a lot of graft in but I’ve never been able to do right for doing wrong.

Sun_Addict

Your wife knows the right buttons to push to get to you. Deep down she knows which side her bread’s buttered. Ignore her comments and prove her wrong by staying away from the coke. You’re doing really well don’t let anything spoil it. I know what it’s like to live with someone who wants to spend regardless of whether there’s money in the pot. 

efes_shareholder

tell her the minute you have a sniff she can go on a spending spree knowing full well its not going to happen.
Yes shes right you have spunked a lot of money over the years on powder , shes not innocent , shes spent a lot of money on excessive extranvegance , whats gone on in the past is no longer important , you are growing for your future.

I'm cross for you right now and have every sympathy , I really think you have no choice other then to cancel all her access to money. she can get weekly pocket money just like your son.
With regards to her saying that you want to be debt free to then buy a bigger house etc , so what if you do ? Your not sniffing it , your not buying poncy bags and if you ever want to downsize its a nice little pension pot 

alt80

Calling day 42 through. I'm going to bed probably find something on tv to watch and get off my laptop - always dipping in and out of here and work haha just need a rest; not had the greatest of days and got a bit of a drive tomorrow. Son is excited at least so it'll be worth it for him.

@Sun_Addict Which side her bread is buttered haha you win most NG comment of the day (only ever hear that expression around here ha). Yeah she's pressing my buttons alright fml but thanks and I'll keep on only touching the coke that comes in a can lol.

@efes_shareholder I've a lot of regrets for the amount I've spent on it and on things I've bought high/ out of guilt etc but I know I need to stick on the recovery plan. I've apologised for the past and can't carry on grovelling and stuck in it the cycle of regret feeds the cravings- do right things for the future and lessen the temptations (which fwiw haven't just gone away and won't I know that much).  

theoretica

This little thing is great for what it is - easy to use, has a light so you can take it out of the holder and look at big things. More magnification than a magnifying glass, but not so much you can't find the bit of the object you want to see. And a reasonable price for something that may be a hit or may not. https://www.nhmshop.co.uk/pocket-microscope.html
I am probably getting repetitive, but I think you might all benefit from doing your spending from already earned money and not the larger pool of credit with nothing but will power and planning to stop either of you going overboard.  And if you make the change too it won't be a punishment just for her and she can see how much harder you are making it for yourself to have a spending spree too.  And your son can learn from watching you budget.

CRANKY40

I hope that you enjoy your weekend. I'm fairly sure that your son will - mine always did. 

Allikat86

Alt, I hope that you enjoy your weekend at CP. Fingers crossed your wife will stay off Instagram and enjoy some family time with you all.

alt80

Just watched well dipped in and out really of a gardeners world episode - made a barrel pond bookmarked that idea fml know I seem obsessed with my garden ha just need to have my mind off other things. Made a little activity for my son - wouldn’t have that if not for here. I read a thread on here called awful weather haha anyone who’s read this for a while knows I love a good moan about the weather lol so I thought that’s my !!!!!! perfect thread ha. Anyhow turns out it’s like a general garden/ wildlife etc chat. Someone posted a butterfly and another had some info - I now have pictures of two butterflies and info about one going to give it to son to spot the differences and find out some info about the other one. Sorry I know I’m rambling but thank you to people on here I finally think I can build a relationship with my boy. Possibly sounds a bit dumb but gives me something to live for apart from working and keeps me away from the self destructive stuff so thank you. 

@theoretica that’s perfect, I have bookmarked it. Thanks. 

Re spends things are set up as they are to avoid BT fees and also effectively spread my car balloon at 0% to jun-26 when it is due apr-24. I can’t meet apr-24 and refinancing the car would be interest baring. My plan works in principle and is fully costed. Granted it requires both my wife and I staying on track. 

@CRANKY40 and @Allikat86 thank you. 

stymied

All I’m hearing from your wife are excuses for her addiction. None of her ‘reasons’ ring true.

Have a fab weekend.

alt80

@stymied idk I just want to forget it all for the weekend, thing is she didn’t really even used to spend that much herself so !!!!!! knows. She carries on I’m going to just try to face up to losing my car - can’t pay for it in a reasonable time frame I can’t realistically keep it or this is over me for too !!!!!! long. 5ish years enough is enough for payback I can’t live with this forever - I’m not getting any younger and I want to get it paid for and move on; choose to have less stress in my life and a bit of a safety net. Yeah I know it’s a !!!!!! massive attitude change from me but I just can’t cope with the stress of wondering if I’m coming back to off plan purchases that’s !!!!!! the costed plans that’ll see me out of debt. I can’t risk !!!!!! up and relapsing I know it’s 42 days not a lifetime, not even the longest time I’ve stayed away from it but I can’t risk !!!!!! up what I’m building now.