First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@MovingForwards thank you. Haha my sister and I had one of those as kids, you’ve just reminded me. 

Anyway need to get off my phone now lol.

getmore4less

alt80 said:

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Oddly enough I feel a bit weird about the Covid restrictions completely lifting and I’m not sure why. Quite glad we’re there this weekend and not next esp with in-laws - fully vaccinated but they are in their late 60s now. Only my Mrs who isn’t fully vaccinated sure they should have called her back by now but she’s heard nothing. 

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Job for the wife when you get back......

I think as soon as you hit the time think they are recommending 8 weeks now you just book your appointment 

Round us they have  had walk ins for anyone over 18 not sure if you can used them for second jab.

This is the Notts guide there are walk in 

https://nottsccg.nhs.uk/covid-19/covid-19-vaccinations/covid-19-vaccination-in-nottingham-and-nottinghamshire/

For us the biggest issue is the unknown behaviour of people, we do go out and can keep ourselves relatively save with mask and avoiding the high risk situations.

First big test for us will be a inside full theatre next week.
Just going out and shopping we can walk away if we don't like the look of it.

getmore4less

alt80 said:

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@maggiem thanks over thinking story of my life and only usually leads down one path - wrong one. Doubt this weekend is going to be AF but going to try to keep it sensible. She does the counselling with me once a week but not really committed to it and doesn’t like it.

As you found out one of the most difficult hurdle to overcome is admitting to yourself there is a problem that needs fixing.

You are there now but the wife needs more time.

It will be hard to not think about stuff but this is a weekend to enjoy son and family, 

I have taken "that's a job for tomorrow" one step further I can worry about that tomorrow, not that good long term but works a treat when going away,  except sometimes I go into did I lock the doors mode about 1/2 way to the place we are going so no tuning back.

Grumpelstiltskin

Alt your wife should have had a 2nd. vaccine date when she had her first vaccine.

RelievedSheff

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Alt your wife should have had a 2nd. vaccine date when she had her first vaccine.

They didn't do that at our local vaccine centre. They sent a text message for you to book your first vaccine appointment and then about 6-8 weeks later sent a second text message for you to book your second vaccine appointment.

Both mine and the other halves were about six weeks apart, although now they are recommending you wait 8 weeks between doses.

I think our local area were ahead of the game with their vaccination programme. Both me and the other half got our first doses before the government had announced our age groups were eligible. 

Grumpelstiltskin

I had my first at The Forest, I  got date for second straight away and an E Mail reminder.

Problem I had was I was ill on the second date and I had to cancel and getting another appointment closer to home was a bit of a nightmare.

getmore4less

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Alt your wife should have had a 2nd. vaccine date when she had her first vaccine.

Round here we had a mix.

GP led, gave first appointment and then the second came in at around 10-11 weeks for about a week later.
NHS led, both bookings same time.
Pharmacy led, not sure.

They also moved 2 of the locations one was a cinema and they wanted it back.

alt80

Day 43 through and no potential chance/ temptation for the next few days. OK day generally, in-laws not been too bad and son is in his element. He was actually interested in the butterflies. Just been settling in really. Found my in-laws are the early to bed sort 10pm haha fml meant I've managed to get an hour in on the laptop catching up with emails etc so I'm not complaining ha.

Have had a drink tonight but nice to just stop after 1 I find these days. Though probably could have done with a bit more, help me to drop to sleep. In-laws given wife and I the double room, I'm not !!!!!! thrilled to be sharing a bed but didn't like the idea of a single bed either and probably look a bit weird to ask my wife to go and sleep in son's room (2 beds in there lol) idk I'm def used to my own bed tbh. I can't !!!!!! win just moaning really.

@getmore4less I didn't even care about Covid when it was all properly kicking off apart from being massively tripped off about everything being closed so idk why I'm a bit apprehensive about it all lifting now but I am. Not about going and spending stupid amounts either, shops have been open long enough more like what you're saying unknown behaviours of others. That really hasn't bothered me until recently so I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Take care and keep yourselves safe. I do need to tell her to get the 2nd vaccine sorted.

What you say about fully admitting a problem is true mate still am really !!!!!! ashamed to acknowledge what I've become but that doesn't change it and dwelling on the shame of it just turns me back to the self destructive stuff.

How did you get to the point of just parking everything? I could do with a !!!!!! brain off switch some days ha as for 'did I lock the doors mode' ha fml glad I'm not the only one mate. 

@Grumpelstiltskin I went to the same one as you and got the date same as you did. She didn't and was told they'd contact her or that's what she's told me idk. 

alt80

Checked through units for sale and keep looking at the bottle of wine in for tomorrow very tempted to have a few glasses, get me off to sleep but too !!!!!! paranoid my FIL is going to think I’m an alcoholic. I can’t !!!!!! sleep here, no chance and tomorrow’s and rest of weekend plans we’re hardly going to stop fml I’ll be going to work on Tuesday for a break. 

Also had a quick look through my clothes inventory perk of bringing the laptop haha - two things I’m going to sell when I get back £450-£500 worth. Not massive amounts but ok for stuff I’ve not worn in a very long time and tbh I don’t think I will again. For anyone selling, wife has the Vestiaire app which she does some selling on; things don’t seem to go that quickly but when they do it’s for a good price. Commission is a bit high but still worth it for some of the stuff she’s sold - only really for higher end stuff or better on eBay when it’s no seller fee days.

warby68

Morning @alt80

Now Day 44 - that's a good solid number now, well over 6 weeks and the feel is 'real' this time. 

I do the 'parking' thing. Its not complicated - its just a mental decision to allocate a future time to worry about something. Very few things change much in days or are truly urgent and the good thing is once you've given yourself 'permission' your brain does still carry on processing in the background and when you come back to something after a break, you've often moved on to another stage than just worrying. I learnt it through necessity, just too much at once and getting nowhere other than ill. Mentally carrying the huge load of absolutely everything 100% of the time wears you down and leaves no space for actually dealing with anything. Putting some of it in a mental cupboard makes your current load lighter and you're freer to problem solve and relax. I don't know if I'm explaining very well but it really is a mental permission thing. I literally plan a time in the diary to worry about something and if others are involved get their agreement too. Its part compartmentalising. For you now, its permission to enjoy center parks and leave most of the other stuff alone  or allocating one day a week for budget. As a massive overthinker, I'm sure it would be good for you. Its hard at first as problems make you feel threatened and as if something will explode if you even dare forget for a minute but once you've realised they don't and most issues are ongoing with a few days making no difference you do get the hang of it. There is a risk of procrastination and avoidance but usually something related to the problem brings it back to the fore anyway if you waver a bit too long. 

So good to see you picking up and running with the tips for your son. Wife may scoff but stick with it. I have very young nephews and while tech etc has moved on I can promise young boys still like what they did 20 years ago. Anything with your time and a bit of nature goes a long way. Time is number 1.

You're doing so well - especially under pressure from wife's relapse. Heck she can be a piece of work. Time will tell whether there's a future for you together - the clearer headed you get and the more consolidated your recovery the more you will be able to decide this and move away from constantly excusing her because you did 'worse'. For now, its a partial 'park' for this, do the damage limitation on the spending (that bit is urgent) but the whole complicated relationship and her personal issues might have to wait a while longer. Letting her rants wash over you might be the interim step. She is a bit repetitive and predictable now. 

Saturday morning essay, sorry but have a lovely day.