First Steps to Solvency

MovingForwards

In the future consider earmarking some business money to balance any credit taken. The rest you keep earmarked or used as business funds. It's all about knowing you've got access to the back up if and when needed.

Another thing to consider, when things are more normal, is family time and what to do. A picnic or trip to the beach is free aside from fuel and food. Keep the holiday's and weekends away as special occasion items eg birthday, anniversary, another decade together, it all adds to keeping grounded, making them special and something to look forward to. After all, just because you can have steak every day, doesn't mean you have to.

I know I approach things from a low earner point of view, but we all can learn from each other, apply it to our own circumstances and adapt to suit.

alt80

Day 15 through. 50% to first goal.

Son was in tears at the end of the match. 😆 both wife and I couldn’t help but laugh at him fml so much for 6-1 lol. Actually had a really nice night staying in haddock and chips thanks @getmore4less. Def need to stop eating like a pig though. Lit the fire and no I’m not !!!!!! joking it’s freezing in NG 🙄 hot chocolate and marshmallows for son. I’ve had my chamomile tea needed that to watch England play lol. No crowds, no pubs, no drinks, no coke 100% sober but really enjoyable Friday night in (quality of football from the England team aside ha). 

Found out I can set spend limits on my cards idk was tempted to set one and allow myself to have a card back but could just go in app and change it so idk stick with the £20 cash limit for a bit. Going to get son to pay for coffee tomorrow he can make sure I get the right change ha. Need to go over spends / months personal finances also this weekend.

@MovingForwards that’s a fair point tbh re special occasions. Also I really want to take my son to the coast see the beach and the sea. Long way from here but def going to put that in my plans for school summer hols. Only got centreparcs sharing a lodge with the in-laws planned for school summer hols and I’m !!!!!! dreading it. Was just going to go for day but I’m going for the full thing now be a part of the family but fml im not looking forward to it or their snide comments. 

Know there’s plenty on here who think I’m a !!!!!! tbf plenty in the real world think so too but I think we can all learn something from others it’s good - real mix on here, I like that anyway. 

RelievedSheff

The match was rubbish. 2 hours of my life I won't get back 🤣🤣🤣

MovingForwards

Have you tried mindfulness? 

Learn to replace negative thoughts, stop thinking you know what's going to happen and remember the In-laws haven't given up on you. 

As you like a challenge, think of 3 positive reasons for going to CP and 3 good things you will get out of going for the duration of the holiday.

Every day list, or think of, 3 things you've achieved that day and why they were a success. The hard part is it can't relate to your work, nor can they be listed again within a 3 day period.

alt80

Day 16. This was as far as I got last time ha. Got a plan for the weekend and still no access to money wife asked me if I wanted my card back to pay for lunch ha told her she can do it 21st century now lol. 

Woke up with terrible hay fever, wife and son not really any better. Ok amount of sleep though at least.

@RelievedSheff 🤣 agree there mate. 

@MovingForwards one of the things I do for the pros - the mindfulness helps when I do but I’m often on the spiral of negative thinking - struggle to pull myself out of it. Idk question my choices in life and know I’m a bit of a !!!!!! myself tbh don’t really deserve to have a great outlook.

3 things achieved not work fml mate never mind in a day don’t think I have 3 in a lifetime ha.

Sun_Addict

Day 16 is a brilliant achievement, doing well by taking it one day at a time. 

The grass pollen is high at the moment, Mr SA suffers terribly with hay fever this time of year. 

I wish you’d stop thinking you don’t deserve things, stop putting yourself down, you do deserve good things to happen and you’re not a !!!!! I think we can all see that but you need to realise it too.

Hope you have a great weekend.

RelievedSheff

The other half is terrible with his hay fever at the minute as well. 

Well done on getting to Day 16. 

What's the family plan for this weekend. 

MovingForwards

@alt80

You need to nip it in the bud before it spirals, being eaten alive by negative thoughts isn't a nice feeling and brings us back to the conversation about being grateful for what you do have.

My OH goes off and does physical tasks for me, the neighbours or his sibling. Pushes through the physical pain until exhaustion, he focuses hard on what he's doing, otherwise he would end up in hospital due to a slip of whatever tool he's using at the time. He's found his way of escaping thoughts.

Sometimes he will load up a bag with water and snacks, taking himself off for a walk, sends me photos as he goes along and tells me all about it when home. 

What I didn't say when I mentioned him before is he thinks the same as you, that I could do better, I deserve better than him and he doesn't deserve me. There's loads of similarities I see in you both, but you're not as far 'gone' as he is. 

Life definitely isn't boring in the way he thinks and copes, it's the long-term price he paid. How much of that is him or his former lifestyle I will never know.

Willowtree222

My hay fever is through the roof too. I’m on my strongest dose which doesn’t usual happen with hay fever.
great you’re on day 16 too.

alt80

Day 16 through, good day with family and a quieter one planned for tomorrow. Shouldn't still be awake really, having my chamomile tea then off to bed with my audio book. Hay fever is terrible especially for a boy my son's age idk wish he didn't get it.

Went to kids adventure park, had a really nice time with wife and son. Son asked why mummy was paying for lunch ha fml I didn't even think he noticed stuff like that but suppose it was weird for him - I always pay when we go out as a family found it a bit awkward tbh but I know no one interested just want their bill paid ha.

Thanks all had a conversation with wife tonight about ongoing therapy/ life moving on etc. In someways I've let life pass me by - I don't really know anything other than work tbh I wanted to sort the family time out for a long time on and off but have spent a lot of time not being able to let myself in. I've sacrificed a lot of my life to getting my business where it is extent of I know nothing else other than how to work well, spend well and burn the candle at both ends. Can't really say I want my son to wake up aged 40 with a problem with addiction, spending ridiculous sums of money and no !!!!!! clue about life outside work. Father's Day tomorrow I want to hide from the whole !!!!!! world. These type of days should be precious with a boy my son's age but just !!!!!! torturous for me - reminds me I should have been a better dad to him.