First Steps to Solvency

stymied

If you can’t go to your in laws at least call the professionals. You need help tonight, immediately @alt80

Allikat86

alt80 said:

Yeah I’m wrecking my life and my family’s idk why at the point of no return I’m a total !!!!!!. Son would be better away from me forever he doesn’t need my influence in his life.

The thing is, though - no-one has said that. I have seen parents come back from where you are now, but it takes a lot of humility and the choice to stop and really own your choices and your failings. That’s incredibly painful to do, and this trapped feeling that you have right now is part of trying to avoid that. None of us are perfect parents. It’s the reparation that is important right now. To be frank, if you carry on not really hearing your wife and son - what they are actually saying, rather than you perceiving it as an attack - then you will almost certainly lose them. This is why the therapy and accountability (group work) is so important. It’s a strange analogy but think of it a bit like when you go to a weight loss group of some kind and you have to weigh in and stay for the group as accountability - it’s the same thing. Otherwise you will make the same choices, over and over again. Hear what people are saying, rather than how awful you are feeling and projecting it into an attack.

alt80

Cocaine addict and shouldn’t touch it. Never do it again. Yeah need to speak to the pros idk there’s no point for me.

stymied

You do know. You love your son and wife, you want your business to keep running to support your employees & tenants. Just get on with it and pick up the phone.

Sun_Addict

Alt please get some help. You’re a good bloke underneath it all you just can’t see it yourself. 

warby68

Get help
If you have to go back for longer so be it but not the VIP spa experience - you need the real deal. Something's going badly wrong right now.

downshifted

I saw this and thought of you:

On leaving rehab, it is important that you continue to access local support and any aftercare that is available through the rehab treatment you completed. This will help you to adjust to sober and clean living and help you get through life’s challenges for the first year of your recovery. It is dangerous to leave rehab with the expectations that all is well and family will re-embrace you now you are clean and sober. Trust takes time and hard work with family members and loved ones; there are amends to be made and bridges to be built. The best way of doing this is by continuing in your commitment to your recovery, accessing ongoing support and above all staying clean and sober with a change in your perspective and thinking.

Changing Your Life after Rehab

On leaving the rehab environment, it is likely that you will have associations with dealers and old using/drinking friends. We cannot stress enough that this needs to change! Maintaining contact with these individuals, especially in the early days of recovery, is likely to lead to temptation and relapse. As a newly clean and sober individual, it is important to surround yourself with those that support you in maintaining your abstinence based recovery. Support groups such as 12 step, aftercare and counselling are particularly helpful and highly recommended. Acceptance is key to changing your life; as an individual that suffers with a life threatening incurable condition you must put your recovery first, above all else. Attending ongoing support, aftercare and recovery self-help groups assists greatly with this process. Do not be fooled into thinking you are cured and will never returned to drink or drugs again; this thinking is fatal and often leads to relapse. With addiction it is vital to stay actively engaged in recovery. Addiction is a “chronic relapsing brain disease”. Permanent recovery IS possible, IF you are willing to go to any lengths to maintain it.

So Alt, what follow up was arranged for you? What was your agreed plan for ensuring you stayed clean? How can you access the support you clearly need? We’re all wishing you well but none of us can do it for you 

alt80

Should have stuck with my programme that I’ve ignored therapy/ life/ planning/ rest. I haven’t stuck to any of it on any meaningful level. Ignored every !!!!!! thing being a let down to myself and my family. Put myself under so much pressure to become a family man I’ve just !!!!!! it up. My only mate who doesn’t do drugs is the one with the MG who’s pestering me to take the car on some kind of long term loan in return for storage. Don’t want people’s charity he knows my personal finances aren’t that great and I know 100% that’s why he offered. Only positive thing I’ve got going for me is I’ve planned the finances out business and personal. The personal plan is realistic and rationally I know it’s the right thing but every time I look at it/ deal with it etc I’m devastated. Not like that with business I can separate myself from it - made myself a retained forecast in the middle of the night build my sinking funds back up on the portfolio side and each time I add to it I’ll update it and I can see percentage growing, back to where I was retained + lower LTV overall win win. Sounds sad but only positive thing in my life that and seeing my staff doing well. One of my younger members of staff is doing so well really proud of him, I’ve seen him grow into the role and mentored him for a few years now risen to every challenge feel like a dad to him lol. Read through some work he’d produced this evening crying like a !!!!!! baby depressed I couldn’t show my face at the office today tell him he’s smashing it. 

Meant to respond to @getmore4less re res market trajectory - locally I think the remainder of this year will remain buoyant but current levels in terms of numbers and growth won’t be sustainable much longer than that. Think it’ll be more a slow down to normal monthly levels 2022-23 plenty of demand at the lower end of the market - FTB interest up and I think will remain strong and still a good level of investor demand in these parts also putting pressure on the lower end. Mid-market I reckon might be a slowdown 2022 putting further pressure on the lower end from the supply side. These parts few investors are selling but still demand so not flooding market. Can’t see cap values slipping but slower rate of growth 2022-23. Rents are only rising slowly - in these parts I don’t think the market can stand much more inthe immediate future. My views may be skewed/ wrong on this with reports of economy growth/ roaring 20s predictions etc so we will see. Exciting times and/or uncertain time though 100% believe the times we are living through are unprecedented were pre-Covid in some ways. Sure you probably didn’t want my opinion on it anyway why would anyone want the late night musings of a cokehead. Even !!!!!! this for myself used to enjoy contributing to this and other people’s diaries but know exactly what everyone on here thinks of me just a junkie destroying his own family a !!!!!! loser everything I didn’t want to be or set out to be in life don’t suppose anyone does.

RelievedSheff

Don't be so hard on yourself. We all want to see you succeed not only with your personal finances and business finances but more importantly with your wife and your son.

Yes we can get frustrated with you (as I'm sure your wife does as well) and at times it does feel like we are all just going around in circles, but we are all here for you when you need us.

We just need to find a way to get you back on track now

Happy Friday.

ladyholly

For heavens sake stop with the self indulgent self pity and pick yourself up and start again. Get back with the prgramme, phone whoever you to need to. If you continue in this mode you will destroy everything you say you care about.