First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@rugbymadfamily haha don’t think I’ll be proposing to you anytime soon lol.

@anon_2020 I get the peer support can be good mate I just couldn’t face it at the time. Some ways I regret what I did but I’ve done something that’s what counts - something better than nothing. 

@CRANKY40 yeah I see it looks that way. I’m doing my best all I can do bit of an improvement each day and not touching drugs/ alcohol.

rugbymadfamily

alt80 said:

@rugbymadfamily haha don’t think I’ll be proposing to you anytime soon lol

Don't worry, no offence taken...you're not my type either 😆

In all seriousness, you've got to stop this tit for tat macho "I paid for this" rubbish. It just leads to resentment and nothing positive can come of resentment in a marriage (I've only been married just over a year but I feel that spending the first year of marriage in lockdown is worth at least 5 normal years!). You are a team, the joint captains of your team if you will. I'm very much the alpha at work (spent a long time in the City in finance) and it has taken an often repeated message from my husband that at home we have to be a team, I can't be the boss at home. I think that's something you need to realise as well.

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

Basic package = £0 extra, lot of group/ peer sessions though. 

‘VIP’ lol that’s going to stick fml = it was 1-2-1 mainly rather than all the group chats, accommodated a bit of work/ personal life. Room not really much better but the building was better some original features, basic was self catering which was a sway for me basically like a super nice HMO. Fml go and move in with my tenants if I wanted that exp haha. More like a retreat but got the therapy, yoga, art therapy etc too, def more relaxing with no responsibility for cooking etc. Said they would have me back see how it goes for a bit. Can go there for burnout and stress etc too.

I am not surprised they will have you back at those prices 🤣🤣.

Seriously you spent £9k so you didn't have to cook for yourself or take part in group sessions? 

stymied

Are you getting any closer to feeling ready to rework your budget?
What have you done with your son since being home?
What plans do you have for the weekend (Wednesday planning day used to make you feel better 🙂)?

ladyholly

I am so angry with your attitude towards your wife I have just deleted a long post because it would have probably have caused me to be banned from here. Suffice it to say grow up, take some responsibility for your actions and stop whining about "poor me". Think about someone else for a change. How does your wife feel and what would she post on here about you. I also notice that you son has not been mentioned other than taking him to school and on a shopping trip (exciting stuff for a 7year old). Have you done anything with him since you came home or are you back to trying to pretend you dont have a child.

warby68

I've also deleted a post I probably shouldn't make about your disgusting attitude to your wife.
Your overall post-rehab attitude stinks is what I will say and also carry on picking my jaw off the floor at £9k for Mr Entitled to have a chef and avoid the other addicts.

CRANKY40

alt80 said:

@CRANKY40 yeah I see it looks that way. I’m doing my best all I can do bit of an improvement each day and not touching drugs/ alcohol.

Remember the quote? "I'm not telling you that it's going to be easy, I'm telling you that it's going to be worth it" ? Also remember that stuff said via a keyboard can translate oddly sometimes because body language isn't there and things typed can be misconstrued. To recap, Mrs A deserves a swearword that I'm not allowed to use medal for what she's put up with, you are doing your best but don't try and justify it when you make an oops, just say it was an oops and move on unless the oops is drugs in which case a pack of angry MSE ers will really have something to say and a £300 jacket isn't the end of the world. Look upon it as a reward for not touching the stuff for a month maybe, but opening an AM savings account might be a better spending target? 

You are whining like a toddler in a toy store to be fair (if I told you this in real life I'd be laughing like I was teasing you). Your 3 week rehab cost more than my car and you're still whinging about your car which cost nearly as much as my house. I'm not particularly happy about being widowed at 42 and left with a 4 year old to bring up. I suspect that I did my fair share of whinging about that but eventually I realised that I could carry on moaning life wasn't fair or I could pull myself together and get on with it. I'm a speed freak and would love to have a go in some of the cars that you are talking about (actually I'd like to fly a fighter jet)  but I made the hard decision to work part time and earn less so I could be there for my son because that seemed more important than money. 

If whinging about life is stopping you from using then I guess we just have to listen but I still think Mrs A is a hero. Money or no money I'd have walked by now. That woman must really love you.  

alt80

@stymied I've been having a look at things this evening. Hoping the wife sells another £4.5k of stuff - that'll put me back to where I was. She's got just under £3k of stuff for sale 100% she can find another £1.5k if she really tries or can use the nails money. That way nothing needs to be adjusted so long as no more is spent than allocated and the dates remain the same. Before someone has a pop I'm thankful she's doing this for me ultimately. Yeah I probably need to wind it in, she's done brilliantly and really tried to make the home env better for me. It's not been easy on her I know and she's frustrated with me.

Struggling with my son a bit tbh he's being a bit weird likes the pick ups but won't let me read him a story or really do much with him not through me not wanting to can tell you that. I thought being home would be amazing built it up in my head for it to be the best family time, get out on the walks, play some football, look for a team for son to join, summer tennis etc etc Weather has been completely miserable and my son is just being strange. Wife has big expectations of me - cooking every other night. Did say I'd do this tbf but I can't face it I just need to rest and she doesn't get that.

I had actually got a plan for Saturday - bit of a repeat of October half term day out but as a family. No idea if that'll happen or not.

@enthusiasticsaver yeah I know it's a business ultimately. Tbt give another day I probably wouldn't have paid and I'm probably trying to find some way to justify it to myself as it was a lot of money really.

@CRANKY40 I need to get my cards and car balloon gone before I start making any inroads into saving for anything. No point in being in debt and having savings for a potential future asset when the money could be coming off the debt - just robbing myself there. 

stymied

It’s not a great surprise that son is feeling & therefore acting a bit weird. You had to go away for 3 weeks and he doesn’t understand why. He probably thinks it’s his fault or you’re really ill and not telling him. Does he have a worry monster that he could use to tell you what’s bothering him? Have you tried the alt & son McDonald’s? Have you tried asking him what he’d like to do this weekend? Our 2 particularly liked us all taking it in turns to choose a 30 min activity (with a 30 min rest after we all had a turn).

elbree

Agreed @stymied, kids are always a bit huffy when people have been away (and animals too actually 😂). They feel slighted. Persevere and he'll come round. Show him you really want to spend time with him and be prepared to be knocked back a few times whilst he builds up his pride again. Think how you would feel in his situation.