First Steps to Solvency

Grumpelstiltskin

One short sentence    MARRIAGE IS A PARTNERSHIP

alt80

Basic package = £0 extra, lot of group/ peer sessions though. 

‘VIP’ lol that’s going to stick fml = it was 1-2-1 mainly rather than all the group chats, accommodated a bit of work/ personal life. Room not really much better but the building was better some original features, basic was self catering which was a sway for me basically like a super nice HMO. Fml go and move in with my tenants if I wanted that exp haha. More like a retreat but got the therapy, yoga, art therapy etc too, def more relaxing with no responsibility for cooking etc. Said they would have me back see how it goes for a bit. Can go there for burnout and stress etc too.

rugbymadfamily

Alt, I'm not sure where to start...
Well done on going to the rehab, that really is commendable. However, it does appear that whilst you are doing well at kicking the coke habit, other impulses are kicking in instead. The whole point of the rehab is to teach you some new habits to take out into the world and coping methods for when "bad" thoughts creep in (be that coke / spending / cars etc). But within the first few days you appear to be ignoring these habits and methods already. So thats £9k p*ssed up the wall. Start applying the tools that they helped you with in there or else it was just a nice holiday camp.

Your poor wife can't win. You've spent a long time saying she spends too much and doesn't earn anything. You go away for 3 weeks, while she is at home managing:
- being a single parent
- selling I think you said over £5k
- doing nails and earning some £
- clearly having a good think on her own spending habits and scaled these right back. 100% agree with her abut the jacket

Ps full time childcare is about £1,200 per month (even just wrap around before and after school is £500 per month), a chef to cook your dinner daily am guessing £600 per month absolute minimum, cleaner for your offices once a week £400 per month min, weeky wash of your car roughly £150 per month, cleaner for the house for 5 hours a week means £250 per month......so thats an absolute min of £2k per month of work that she is doing in your home and office and thats probably me lowballing it. You need to check your attitude to you marriage so much.

anon_2020

alt80 said:

Basic package = £0 extra, lot of group/ peer sessions though. 

‘VIP’ lol that’s going to stick fml = it was 1-2-1 mainly rather than all the group chats, accommodated a bit of work/ personal life. Room not really much better but the building was better some original features, basic was self catering which was a sway for me basically like a super nice HMO. Fml go and move in with my tenants if I wanted that exp haha. More like a retreat but got the therapy, yoga, art therapy etc too, def more relaxing with no responsibility for cooking etc. Said they would have me back see how it goes for a bit. Can go there for burnout and stress etc too.

Haha this is brilliant! You're an absolute mug and you've paid a massive premium in exchange for an experience that was certainly less helpful to you than the basic package would have been.

Still, if your money is helping to subsidise the recovery of others who are actually prepared to work at it then it was probably well spent.

JGB1955

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver Could really fancy LEJOG trip over about 4 days, leisurely drive and stay in a few nice hotels along the way not sleeping in my car fml at least she makes me laugh sometimes.

LEJOG in 4 days isn't leisurely - it's a road race.  We did the North Coast 500 in 15 days (included a side trip to Orkney) but it would have been sacrilege to do it in the 5 recommended days.  Nothing better than spending 4 nights in a midge-ridden crofters cottage near Kinlochbervie, alongside a boat/minibus trip to Cape Wrath in the pouring rain!  The things memories are made of.

CRANKY40

I actually feel sorry for Mrs A. She's done everything possible to encourage you and you're still complaining about her. When are you going to realise its not her.....I mean you're missing choosing your chef made meals and moaning that you need to take turns to cook for your own family. As for wondering when your family will grow up.....

alt80

@rugbymadfamily thanks. Main thing is I’m off the coke, rest is a work in progress which is what she doesn’t get. Using the techniques there ha. 

I’ve said numerous times my wife has done really well. 100% I let her have the credit I was able to !!!!!! those 2 July deadlines off no doubt that was all on her. No reason for her to be like she is today though ultimately I’m on the recovery path.

Not once have I said she doesn’t do anything, she does and fwiw sometimes I cook. 

CRANKY40

alt80 said:
She pushes me much more and I’ll maybe be the one telling her to leave. I’ve not even touched anything apart from I’ve had few coffees today need to keep awake somehow. 

Homemade spaghetti bolognese this evening. Effort has gone down on the Mrs’ part 100% missing picking my food. I’m meant to be doing Thai red curry tomorrow but cba with that I don’t think.

Really? Read that bit above that you wrote just before then. If Mrs A isn't making an effort then she's not the only one.

rugbymadfamily

alt80 said:

@rugbymadfamily thanks. Main thing is I’m off the coke, rest is a work in progress which is what she doesn’t get. Using the techniques there ha. 

I’ve said numerous times my wife has done really well. 100% I let her have the credit I was able to !!!!!! those 2 July deadlines off no doubt that was all on her. No reason for her to be like she is today though ultimately I’m on the recovery path.

Not once have I said she doesn’t do anything, she does and fwiw sometimes I cook. 

You literally just said you were going to invoice her for the housing you've provided....I was just helping you get an idea of the invoice you would receive in return, if I were Mrs Alt 😉 

alt80

@JGB1955 that sounds absolutely amazing mate. Memories for life there. I’d love to do something like that in an AM. Just me and the car. This is why I like following Sheffs van journeys if I dare mention it lol she goes on all sorts of adventures def worth a read. Amazing lifestyle 100%. I could do that with an AM apart from the sleeping in it haha.

I know it was done in about 14.5 hrs so 4 days not a really road race won’t be winning any records and within the limits Mr Plod sets. I’d basically just drive and stay in a few decent hotels not imaginative enough to do what you did but thats def cooler than my idea! Love it.