First Steps to Solvency

warby68

You need to get a grip @alt80, you really do.
Its all escapism and excuses at the moment and you've upset your wife.
Go and return the jacket, hammer the professional support and stop reverting to type as if you have no free will at all.
Moving house won't fix anything

enthusiasticsaver

I don't know what is the right thing for you  going forward but it strikes me shutting yourself away in rehab when things get tough is not resolving your problems. It may well be moving for a fresh start may be best in the long run but not now. You have enough stress going on. You definitely need a quieter lifestyle. What is wrong with going away in that extortionately expensive RR? This again is a repeat of things you have been saying ever since the f type went. Actions have consequences. If you spent too much something had to go, namely the sports car. If you sort the finances out you can get another one at some point.

Prices are sky high in Cornwall now. Had half a dozen agents asking us if they can sell our house until I point out we would have to find somewhere else to live and we like living here. Houses are selling within days and gazumping seems to be a thing again. Mix I guess of people reevaluating lifestyle and working from home more and government giving stamp duty holiday to boost economy, 

RelievedSheff

I'm not sure another (very expensive) stint in rehab is the answer here. You have already wasted £9k on rehab that just doesn't seem to have done anything to help you.

You have been out less than a week and already have reverted back to the same destructive behaviour.

Rehab is not a magic wand that can make all of your problems disappear. You have to be willing to put the tools that they give you to work out in the real world. You can not stay shut away forever, it is no good for you nor your family.

JGB1955

How many times are you going to run away?  You have to face your demons head-on.

alt80

Res market is mad here too and I appreciate moving now makes no logical sense for me and I have no !!!!!! clue where the money would come from to do it thanks to our robbing government who seem to think I’m !!!!!! made of money. Put my house in a quieter location and that’d work for me. Quiet immediately but too close to town. It’s not the house I just don’t think I’m in the right place iyswim. Office idk I’ll have to start wfh more or something not really thought any of this through but know I need to have the right environment for recovery. Rehab environment was good for me but as my wife keeps saying I cannot afford to keep staying there. She wants me cooking and helping her out- didn’t have to do anything there whatever I wanted cooked for me etc !!!!!! amazing and I’m 100% missing it.

I meant I don’t have a weekend car. Used to do weekends away in the F-Type. Miss that car 100% shouldn’t have got rid of it.

RelievedSheff

But you have your beloved Range Rover to get you out and about during the weekend. It isn't as though you don't have a car at all.

If you stick to your plan and don't start spending on things that you really don't need then you can have that weekend car again in a couple of years. It isn't as though you will never have one.

You really need to man up if you want to save your family. Your wife has stepped up to the plate and is doing a great job of trying to keep your family together. You have to help her or you will lose them.

woahsoah

Is it a spending addiction? Your wife seems to now have more control than you? Why not let her manage the money? You can have a daily allowance in cash. You're married and screwed anyway when it comes to assets so why not just let her have control. It doesn't seem like you can be trusted? I'm totally up for being proven wrong here, just how I see it.

alt80

@RelievedSheff you know what I mean mate I’ve not got a sports car. Range Rover it’s a truck as you know. Going away to the countryside there’s some perfect roads for the F-Type that way if the weather is with us. I’ve never not had a sports car of some description since I was early twenties don’t think I can sit this out for a few years. Need to 100% but I’m not getting any younger. 

@woahsoah no !!!!!! chance am I doing that mate lol.

strawb_shortcake

Alt, you asked about my Brother before, whilst you were at rehab he upgraded his coke to crack for a brief period. He handed his flat keys to my parents and at the age of 53 now seems to have taken up permanent residence with them. 
He pays £800pm for a pokey empty flat that he doesn't feel he can go back to, he doesn't want to sell it as he sees that as his ticket to moving to SE Asia one day. 
He still smokes weed, he now goes to pub most days but feels he's fixed as he's no longer sniffing or smoking the hard stuff. 

He won't do any sort of rehab as he does long hours and some weeks on call so can't plan - he could if he really wanted to.

He isn't fixed as the problem is still there, hiding away from it isn't the answer, most frustratingly my parents are happy with the current status quo, he isn't using hard drugs and that's what matters to them. No one wants to ask what happens when the dealer or other users offer something harder outside the pub, but it will happen sooner or later, and I strongly suspect the response won't be the right one. 

My Brother has been taking drugs of some description for 35 years at least, he's not going to be fixed in a few weeks of abstinence, now I don't think he really wants to change but he can pretend to change so my Mum continues to mother him and wait on him hand and foot. 

Running away is only ever going to be temporary, please don't be my Brother I think you are better than that and you have so much worth fighting for. As I try to drum into my children the easy option is rarely the right one 

alt80

@annabanana82 sorry to hear that not that it’s going to really mean anything. Smoking crack though fml he needs to sort himself out as you say could do it if he really wanted it I hope he does 100%. 

Idk from my perspective I know I don’t ever want to touch it again - don’t like who I become on it or drinking and not helping me, makes me ill really. Possibly sounds odd but I really don’t like drugs/ people associated with it etc. Def avoiding people/ places/ things. No meet ups. No pubs, not drinking etc. I want off it for life.