First Steps to Solvency

theoretica

You said a while back something about a mix between rehab and normal life appealing - 6 hours a day work, therapy, walk with family, sit in the sun (if any).  Which I think comes right back to how much better you do when you have your life scheduled - and that is a schedule (with a bit of exercise and cooking in) that you could establish at home.  You would just need to acknowledge there are lots of possible activities you have not put in the schedule and face up to your fear of missing out.  And it is of course just as fine and good for you to sit in the sun in your own garden as it was at the rehab centre.

I hope your meeting with the accountant goes well and finding a good balance between capital and cash.

alt80

Meeting was massive relief thanks @theoretica

If I don’t go back might !!!!!! on a road trip just get away for a bit. UK only I think still with restrictions do Lands End to John o’Groats or something ha.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Meeting was massive relief thanks @theoretica

If I don’t go back might !!!!!! on a road trip just get away for a bit. UK only I think still with restrictions do Lands End to John o’Groats or something ha.

You are going away with your wife next week. (If she is still talking to you at that point!!)

getmore4less

alt80 said:

Meeting was massive relief thanks @theoretica

If I don’t go back might !!!!!! on a road trip just get away for a bit. UK only I think still with restrictions do Lands End to John o’Groats or something ha.

In the RR probably cheaper in rehab than the fuel.
Would be a good time to test out an electric

anon_2020

You really are a selfish pr*ck.

You have that in common with most addicts. I include myself in this. The problem is that you won't find any kind of recovery until you first find the humility to realise that you're just the same as everyone else. 

How many times are you going to be told, and give lip-service to the idea, that your crushingly boring, ego-driven obsession with 'levelling up' is something you simply have to let go of. It will destroy you. It tells you that you're better than everyone else (because you deserve a higher standard of living) while simultaneously telling you that you're worthless (because you haven't achieved it yet). Absolutely classic addict behaviour, yo-yoing between grandiosity and self-loathing. Never a happy medium. Exhausting for you and everyone around you.

Self-obsession is at the root of all of this. That's what the 12 steps are there to help you tackle.

Checking into the plushest rehab around for 3 weeks is quite frankly an absolute joke, mate. You need to get yourself down to your nearest NA meeting with your fellow addicts and work a programme. Because if you don't you will end up alone, and then mad, and then dead.

getmore4less

Was thinking about that refinance not sure what the rates were but a drop from 80% down to 75% on a res gets something like 0.7% drop in rates
find the cash to get to the 75%  geared up that is a good ROI for the extra money going in.

alt80

@anon_2020 yep that’s me 100%.

@getmore4less that’s why my retained is where it is mate getting that dealt with. Can’t catch a break from my own stupidity paying for it now when I want to get my life sorted and just move on. Will come right I know robbing lender having a massive product fee too.

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

Meeting was massive relief thanks @theoretica

If I don’t go back might !!!!!! on a road trip just get away for a bit. UK only I think still with restrictions do Lands End to John o’Groats or something ha.

Don't bother with Lands End. Cornwall is already full and we have enough with the G7 summit in a few weeks and all the palaver which goes with that. 

alt80

That’s me told - wife not letting me go back to the rehab thinks I’m ‘treating it like a holiday camp’ and she’s told me I ‘can’t afford’ a driving hol unless I’m planning on ‘sleeping in the car’ fml don’t know why I bother. Having a go at me over my spends so she’s in company with some of you on here haha wanting me to sell something I’ve not lost it with her but I’ve told her if she wants to play that game I’ll work out how much I’ve paid on res mortgage and bills for the past 12 years, halve it and send her an invoice. She pushes me much more and I’ll maybe be the one telling her to leave. I’ve not even touched anything apart from I’ve had few coffees today need to keep awake somehow. Nothing stronger and no plans for that but it’s not good enough for her. Need to get my head screwed on tbh thought I was sorted this time last week. Struggling now 100% want to spend like a !!!!!! madman but can’t. Probably no support from these parts just want a whinge without the professional analysis ha and would be completely weird to speak to staff. I’m not on great terms with my family either right now. Playing the holier than thou card haha hopefully they will have grown the !!!!!! up by October half term.

Homemade spaghetti bolognese this evening. Effort has gone down on the Mrs’ part 100% missing picking my food. I’m meant to be doing Thai red curry tomorrow but cba with that I don’t think.

@enthusiasticsaver haha I’ll come for the impromptu L405 meet lol. Seriously, tbf I bet it is full of tourists. Could really fancy LEJOG trip over about 4 days, leisurely drive and stay in a few nice hotels along the way not sleeping in my car fml at least she makes me laugh sometimes.

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

That’s me told - wife not letting me go back to the rehab thinks I’m ‘treating it like a holiday camp’ and she’s told me I ‘can’t afford’ a driving hol unless I’m planning on ‘sleeping in the car’ fml don’t know why I bother. Having a go at me over my spends so she’s in company with some of you on here haha wanting me to sell something I’ve not lost it with her but I’ve told her if she wants to play that game I’ll work out how much I’ve paid on res mortgage and bills for the past 12 years, halve it and send her an invoice. She pushes me much more and I’ll maybe be the one telling her to leave. I’ve not even touched anything apart from I’ve had few coffees today need to keep awake somehow. Nothing stronger and no plans for that but it’s not good enough for her. Need to get my head screwed on tbh thought I was sorted this time last week. Struggling now 100% want to spend like a !!!!!! madman but can’t. Probably no support from these parts just want a whinge ha and would be completely weird to speak to staff. I’m not on great terms with my family either right now. Playing the holier than thou card haha hopefully they will have grown the !!!!!! up by October half term.

Sounds like you are blaming everyone but yourself. Your wife could equally send you a bill for housekeeping, childcare, car washer, Cook, cleaner etc etc. You need to be working as a team. 

She is right about the rehab being a holiday for you. Not sure it has done you much good at all and all it has done has lined the pockets of the rehab unit. What was the difference between a basic and vip package both in terms of what you got by way of help conquering your addiction and what you paid? Not really supposed to be a holiday in there. 

You do need to get yourself sorted so I agree with you there.