First Steps to Solvency

Legs21

You’re not letting you’re family down, rehab was the best thing you could have done for you and your family. You know the figures are going to be ugly but the sooner you know what you’re working with the better. You’ll find a way to jiggle the budget to pay for it. Maybe show the wife the figures as that may spur her on with more sales.

ladyholly

Forget the figures until tomorrow, no I am not suggesting procrastinating but looking at them tonight will stop you sleeping whereas tomorrow you can do them when you are fresh. Keep up with all the tools you have been given and yes it will be a long road but so worth it for all of you.

strawb_shortcake

alt80 said:

@annabanana82 thanks I’m just hoping I can keep with it. OK at the moment life doesn’t always go to plan, always another weekend and did rebook meal for June. 

I need to face the numbers tbh I am procrastinating about it. It’s been a really !!!!!! expensive month. The October holiday was accounted for anyway but the proportion of my rehab stay I paid for certainly wasn’t tbh I was stupid about that on the day decided I was only staying if I could have the best. Wouldn’t have been paying for my stay now had I not been a !!!!!! on the day I went tbt wife was !!!!!! mortified, told me to get my credit card out and told the staff that’s my ‘other !!!!!! problem’ and I owe nearly £100k to Land Rover FS lol. Half laugh about it now but not proud of my actions that day just given myself more unnecessary debt. Why I’m struggling to face the figures really probably why I didn’t sleep last night idk. 

Holiday actually paid for out of stuff wife has sold and her trip to Bicester too. Threw both on the new 0% and put the money towards meeting the deadlines, she’s sold a bit more - all helping to get the 0% !!!!!! off in the timeframe. I need to work it out and transfer it really will at least no longer have a balance on one of the cards with 0% due in July. Might feel like a bit of a win just to get it gone.

Really very pleased with HL don’t have some massive collection or anything but will keep my eye out on the sales get something for my wife if there’s another - is it through the main website?

The sale is through their main website, Halfeti was reduced to £119. I get the emails but get offers of some description every week so probably not a good idea to set up if you are trying to avoid temptation. 
When I got my last bottle I got another bottle free worth £105 plus £17 cashback through quidco so seemed a good deal. There is a Facebook group Penhaligon fans or something which often has details of the offers so a bit easier to dip in and out of.

warby68

So you went for the 'VIP' package ? In all honestly if it got you over the line, I think it might have been worth it even if you were a bit @alt80 style embarrassing at the time. 
The worst case scenario here seems to be that you might have to extend the timeframe a bit to clear debts - you're still perfectly able to deal with a few k more and a while longer. Pit that against what the continued cost of the coke would have been and it will start to look like much less of a bad option.
Don't do the finances at night - just make a timeslot for it in whatever feels like your good time of day and park it for now.

Glad you're back and sounding so 'normal' but sorry your son is poorly and things are a bit unsettled. Something about this weather makes everything a bit grim I think. Stick with all the tools and family life, and us if we help - fair enough if we don't .

Its probably a good time for the cliche 'Rome wasn't built in a day' - you've a lot of things to pick back up as you say but pace yourself. As always business is your good place so try not to dread it too much. I'm sure its just a case of deep breath, walk in and it'll be like you were never gone. You have a good team by the sound of it.

CRANKY40

I agree with Warby, if having the more expensive stay got you over the doorstep there then it was worth it.....it's probably the most money saving exercise of your entire life, even if it takes you a while to pay for it. I can bake etc and ready made pastry is absolutely fine. I make my own for mince pies at Christmas but for savoury pies I'd buy ready made. M&S do a beef wellington that's good enough for me never to make my own too and I'm not usually keen on any kind of ready meal. 

You are not letting your family down - stop looking over your shoulder and regretting things that you cannot change. Look forward and figure out how you're going to fix things instead. What's your strategy? You can't change the past, it's done, finished with, gone. What you have is the here and now and a good future with a wife and son that love you. I have addictive/obsessive tendencies so I know what you're fighting (not drugs in my case), it's all part and parcel of ADHD. Accept yourself, accept that you are who you are, faults and all (nobody is perfect) and promise yourself that you'll do your best in future. Don't worry about the sleep, I sleep properly roughly every third night. Keep a book by your bedside so you have something to do when you're wakeful instead of lying awake worrying. 

My very clever son has dyscalculia (like dyslexia but the maths version) and he used to call himself stupid and hit himself. I always told him that if he was thick nobody would be troubling themselves to try and help him, they'd just let him sink to his natural ability. Your attitude reminds me of him sometimes. If you're so bad, how come so many people love you and think that you're worth spending time on? Be a bit kinder to yourself.....

alt80

@Legs21 hope so mate would prefer the current lot of cards didn’t go on any longer than planned. I’m not looking for some kind of never have a loan again type lifestyle just want to put the stupid years behind me and move on - think about the value I’m getting from things more. Bit more disciplined lifestyle I suppose in a lot of ways. I’m enjoying the planning, it’s odd feel I’ve got things to actually look forward to in life rather than it being some chaotic mess with no future did laugh when people on here suggested the discipline from a personal angle, only went with it as I’d nothing to lose but 100% works for me gives me things to look forward to.

@ladyholly half think I’m failing to sleep on the vicious cycle of anxious about keeping the sleep schedule and not sleeping haha. Couldn’t !!!!!! open the excel just spent some time half staring at files and half at the tv !!!!!! madness.

@annabanana82 thanks they’re really good offers I am trying to avoid the temptation of spending generally tbt why I’ve been slowly going through unsubscribing from a lot of emails. Possibly a bit foolish really - have the wish lists and if offers arise could be a good time to buy, didn’t used to care but would like to get good value when I do spend on things. 

@warby68 yeah you could say that. Tbh it was amazing, really nice Georgian country house !!!!!! dream level spec, big suite, meals cooked to order. Lived like a king if it weren’t for the complete lack of any kind of substance not even caffeine haha and hours of therapy everyday. Better than my place can tell you that come home and think fml I’ve got a long way to go in the world to get to where I’d like to be in life. I’d go back today if it weren’t for the reasons I was there iyswim.

Ha yeah probably should do a cost comparison lol might make me feel a bit better about it. Really keen to get the cards !!!!!! off I’m sort of hoping for a potential AM maybe 2023 and refinance the RR balloon / live on the 0% for a bit. Would like to put this behind me and get myself into an AM as a treat for making the sacrifices. 

Might try to look at it first thing in the morning, get it done and get on with the day possibly not a bad call there. 

My son is a fair bit better this evening, getting there. Idk probably be fine tomorrow, kids bounce back quick.

You’re 100% right re Rome wasn’t built in day/ business thanks. 

RelievedSheff

Sorry to hear your son was ill over the weekend. You didn't miss anything though. The weather wash shocking!!

I wouldn't worry too much about the figures. You will have a rough idea of what they are. If it takes a bit longer to pay them off then it isn't really the end of the world.

alt80

Ha yeah you’re right re weather have to laugh first day we were meant to be doing anything and that’s how the weather was. Son is fine today idk !!!!!! mystery to me. Yeah I’ve got a rough idea of figures. Be nice to just move on - get away from the past.

Better nights sleep, woke up in a bit better place for it. Promised my family I’ll do the school pick up and cook. Not gonna lie all I want to do today is get back to working properly. Need to keep the stress levels down though. Having some bad thoughts generally def wish I wasn’t afflicted by an addictive personality and the burnout. Actually spent a lot of time on avoiding burnout/ coping with stress. Can tell you now today I don’t think I deserve to have a decent business, wouldn’t have ended up with the stress/ burnout issues if I was good enough.

Willowtree222

You might not think you deserve to have it, but you do have it and it is working as you need it to. You also don't think you deserve your wife and son, but they are also there. 
Your stress and burnout is not because you aren't good enough, it is because you THINK you aren't good enough. They are two entirely separate entities. 
1) Your wife clearly thinks you are - she is there
2) Your have some very committed employees who see you and your business as good and secure enough for them to stay there so they can get on in their lives and continue to pay their mortgage. If they thought that there was a chance it would fail, a lot of them would be moving on to make sure they have financial security. (That's what people do when they think it is going to go belly up). There's no sign of this happening which means they must feel secure and happy. 

Go back to judging your worth on the people and positives around you, not on anything else.

alt80

@Nicnak thanks, you’re right I know. Tbh I think the whole AM thing is tripping me off, get out of the rehab and this weekend my mate invites me to some AM event later this year. I’ve been looking at them yesterday just a V8V know I’m not getting in a Vanquish or something lol - know I can’t get one. Completely !!!!!! trips me off as 100% the reason I can’t is past spending and the rest. Don’t want to go through the figures to confirm it and I can’t deal with working on some aggressive growth strategy either not that I think there’s anything aggressive enough to get me in an AM this/ next summer. Tbh I’m actually looking to take another member of staff on fairly soon to ease the amount of fee earners I need to turn. I’ve just not been coping for a long time and can’t carry on as I was.