First Steps to Solvency

alt80

My dad really !!!!!! me off I know owing £100k to Land Rover is a lot he said it’s ridiculous I’ve let it get like this and after refinancing my res told him because I thought he’d understand help me come to terms with it. Know I should have stopped years ago my fault my reserves down to get onto better ltv telling me he’s got no sympathy for me etc deserve to have my home taken from me how I’ve been with money shouldn’t be where I am and I’m lucky and why can’t I just be sensible about things always had to own the world he said ashamed to call me his son and I’d be telling him I’m a cocaine addict next. Completely !!!!!! paranoid he knows I do it. Absolutely lost the !!!!!! plot

idk why umm writing this on here my wife won’t listen to me probably don’t blame her 

[Deleted User]

My husband was a gambler, an addict. He used to lie about it to me. That's the things with addicts, they lie. The problem is never that bad and you can always just stop if you want to. It doesn't quite work that way from my experience. From what I've read I think your wife is compromising with you in return for the lifestyle. The path to a better life is going to be a really hard one. I don't think you're quite there yet (although you say you are) in wanting to turn from an addict into a recovering one. I have a friend who was an alcoholic (you would never know by looking at her). She had a wild lifestyle and ended up losing everything. She has crawled her way back and is now back in the family home, but there are compromises she has had to make. She lives a quiet life, no alcohol, no going to places where she may be tempted and her circle of friends has had to change. 
I don't think you've hit a low enough point yet to make that journey. 

Legs21

He probably sees you hurtling down the same path he went down and is trying to shame you out of it. After your previous post about your dad why would you expect him to now think that you being in debt because of high end showy possessions would change his opinion?

Imagine if your son came to you in 30 years and told you the he was up to his neck in debt, marriage on the rocks and extremely unhappy, but had a lovely house and a cracking car on the drive, would you say “ don’t worry son, as long as you have a nice house and a classy car on the drive nothing else matters. Give yourself a pat on the back” Duh!

warby68

alt80 said:

My dad really !!!!!! me off I know owing £100k to Land Rover is a lot he said it’s ridiculous I’ve let it get like this and after refinancing my res told him because I thought he’d understand help me come to terms with it. Know I should have stopped years ago my fault my reserves down to get onto better ltv telling me he’s got no sympathy for me etc deserve to have my home taken from me how I’ve been with money shouldn’t be where I am and I’m lucky and why can’t I just be sensible about things always had to own the world he said ashamed to call me his son and I’d be telling him I’m a cocaine addict next. Completely !!!!!! paranoid he knows I do it. Absolutely lost the !!!!!! plot

idk why umm writing this on here my wife won’t listen to me probably don’t blame her 

You want your dad to be proud of you. Your dad wants to save you from yourself. 

I'd put money on it that he knows or at least strongly suspects there is something else in play.

@alt80 you sound a real mess tonight and this is just a forum - do you have access to the professionals to try and get to a better place for the night?

Paspatur

Alt you are going in circles please seek residential rehab before you blow a gasket. My very very very ex was a drug addict, not when I married him but years before and many years after something triggered him. He had to go to rehab to get off it, did not save our marriage but he was not a nice person. I think you may be a nice person without the drugs.

MAP612

@alt80 you really need to appreciate what you have in life.

I read people's diaries purely as an interest and for something to do... I rarely comment but feel that I should let you know my opinion as I can see a bit of you in me.

I'm a millionaire... don't work... no debts... nice house.... 2 cars, one being a Porsche Cayman GTS... both with fancy number plates.
BUT..... although everything looks great in reality I'm extremely lonely. I'm single.
I have no family... my closest relatives are cousins who I only see at weddings and funerals.
The only people who I have met face to face since September last year are police officers who came to my house concerned about my well being when I seriously considered taking my own life.

Believe me, owning flash cars and spending money is not the be all and end all. 

In 2012/13 I basically threw away over £200000 when I met up with a Playboy model in Vegas. I was a complete fool.
I was taken for a ride by a professional hoover. I lived the high life.
This was the worst mistake of my life.
Despite never ever having been in love I've decided that I will never get myself in a relationship with a woman again.

@alt80 please appreciate what you have.
Eliminate those people from your life who are of detriment and causing harm to not only you but ultimately those people who are the most important to you... your wife and child.

I wish you all the best... it's down to you... but please make the right decision. And I know that deep down you know what you need to do.

alt80

24th April plants peas for son someone mentioned that on here put in phone reminders tomorrow. 

Predicted variable spends WC 12/4/21
Food - £85/£100
Alcohol - £0/£0 have been drinking so not af but from stores. Getting through my scotch 
Coffee out - £5/£15 (weekend) wife had costa with son 
Fuel - £85/£100
Entertainment - £0/£0

Items from N&W budgets (new spends)
£0/£0

Upcoming planned spends 
Wedding anniversary £385 (includes the treatments etc) but this is now fully accounted for and agreed
8/5/21 first meal out of freedom £75 est. should be a max cost.
Greece hol
Centreparcs - £150? For spends?

Meant to mention I bought the swing ball £25 maybe entertainment for that one will think about it when the brain is switched on can’t make decisions now not doing great reallt

Going to have to update what I’ve spent on stuff not horrendous out of surplus so no debts 0% or otherwise 

Wife gone to bed she said she loves me wants me to get better sort myself out. I love her. My boy went to sleep at 8.30 I’ve not read to him n a while and he’s going to grow out of wanting that I want to read to him do bedtime.Wish it was all ok could have sorted my issues out as easy as getting my plans in place for sorting the debts idk should be easier to stop doing chang than sorting my finances out but the finances easier for me idk why. Wanted my dad to let me whinge about the product fee for btl remo he told me if I want to own the world got to pay for it with the 3 in the block its 12 units hardly the !!!!!! world lol. Really !!!!!! rude old man he’s turned into.

I know what I need to do keep away from it live a better life. Used to enjoy posting on here for a while good advice liked the banter with a few of you and felt I was improving my life now spoiled even this forever going to be the cokehead from now on same at my sons school they talk about me 100 I did it on a night out all they wanted was a quiet drink should have known they had more sense in their heads than I’ve got.

alt80

@MAP612 mate you’ve a lot more than me by the sounds of it I had a Jaguar F-Type with the V8 too much going on finance couldn’t make ends meet don t have it anymore Cayman GTS is a cool car mate I like those few years back I had a 997 the Porsche people reckon the Cayman is a better drivers car. You’ve got a lot to live for work might be good for your though - social interaction something to ficus the mind. This stuff no good for business I’m !!!!!! it away doing this butyou’ve got your head screwed on would be good for you to get back into work. 

Sorry to hear about the model not all like that mate some good ones. 100% you sound a good catch for a better girl get yourself out there when it’s allowed 17th may I think. 

Hope you get your head sorted you’ve got a lot to live for from what you tell me just need some work and some mates for the long lessen Covid not helping there I know but it’ll be done soon. Thanks for your post mate. Wishing you all the best.

stymied

Nah, haven’t you noticed no one goes softly softly around here - the banter stays regardless. You get more stick for some of your opinions than the cocaine although we’re all rooting for you to get clean.

I wouldn’t bother lying about it on here again though - isn’t it basically like lying to yourself?

Have fun with the swing ball!

alt80

Was only meant to be banter about the X6 tbh I think they’re hilarious but warby took that the wrong way I know Range Rover is a !!!!!! car 100% but I !!!!!! love them will have a laugh about it don’t care I’m the biggest !!!!!! in NG probably anyway.

lying to myself 100% trying to be ok I’m not ok just destroying myself not even the best in the business never will be for anything.

My wife wont get off that swingball will have a go thank you again Grumpelstilskin like peoples family suggestions you’re all best in the business for that 100% smashing the family time all and everyone on here. Encyclopaedic knowledge of family time here def here for that too head screwed on I love it thank you.