First Steps to Solvency

CRANKY40

They don't want you to buy them stuff, they want you. They love you and want to spend time with you. Have the sunflowers popped up yet? Don't forget to water them.....

RelievedSheff

Alt, you can't buy happiness. 

Your wife and son don't want gifts. They want to spend time with you and for you to be happy and content with life.

enthusiasticsaver

You cannot buy love or happiness. People are always more important than things and you must get away from this thinking that buying gifts for people is the only thing you are good for and can somehow be a substitute for giving them your time.

It again comes down to your low self esteem. Remember though you cannot expect others to value you if you don't value yourself. There is a limit of course and you should not value yourself above all others but at some point someone has made you feel worthless except as a provider and even at that you doubt yourself sometimes. Maybe work on that and think of time with you as a gift not something to be tolerated. Same goes for you with your wife and son. Appreciate them for themselves and you are making a good start thinking of nice things you can do with them. I don't know your area but Matlock Bath and a river walk  with an aquarium visit sounds lovely.

This is all a bit deep for Easter Monday isn't it? 😂😂 Have a nice day. My day is a bike ride with my daughter and husband this morning exploring some local quaysides  and sadly a supermarket trip this afternoon. 

RelievedSheff

We love Matlock Bath. Like a seaside town but without the sea 😀

Grumpelstiltskin

Alt   We thought of going to Matlock but decided against it as Derbyshire police said they don't want tourists at the moment and the Aquarium wont be open.
I know you have said you have taken him to a garden centre to see the fish, have you taken him to Welbeck garden centre?
You could then go to Cresswell Crags and although the caves and museum aren't open you can walk round and if you googlle before you go you can tell him about it's history.

ladyholly

alt80 said:

@ladyholly ha no worries and thanks. He’s actually quite bright does pick things up just a bit of an idiot loves people/ dogs/ other animals, not aggressive at all which we’re very pleased about. Tbh I don’t think we’d have had a dog had we known how ‘full on’ he is. He came home yesterday my in-laws couldn’t deal with him bouncing around for another day haha. 

@warby68 nothing worth doing is ever easy is it really in life/ business/ whatever. I want to sort myself out, had some times recently for the first time in my life seen a lot brighter future and couple of times thought I might be turning into someone I liked a bit more and the dad I’d like to be - if that’s not worth giving my best shot to achieve I don’t know what is tbt.

My FIL has seen a lot of life lol whilst he and I never going to think the same way on a lot of things tbh he’s been like a dad to me recently. Lol yeah I know 40 and really shouldn’t need my parents but oh well it is what it is. 

I’ve def got issues with control always have had. Used to be really bad, lot worse than now. Early on I think it actually helped me to get set up and going etc but it’s always been destructive to some extent. Not great and yeah I think you’re probably right re therapy. I’ve had a lot of various counselling over recent years as my mental health has got worse, times it’s interfered with my ability to run my business, why I’m in the position I’m in with staff tbh - previous mental episodes / burnout made me realise I really need staff I can depend on because there’s times I can’t depend on myself. It’s !!!!!! tragic really. Get to the point with the therapy I start to think I’m employing them to do this job and that’ll be enough. Idk I need to keep on track.

@Onebrokelady thanks. I think a lot and do think about how to improve things just maybe need to think more about how to improve life alongside how to improve my business. I think it’s something everyone has tbh, nothing special part of what makes us human being able to reflect and improve our standing based on those reflections. I just have a lot of demons going on in my head hindering my progress in life 100% know that much.

I’ve blocked my mate. We do go back a very long way and I’ve always looking up to him. Wanted to be him tbh lol he’s always been living my dream financially. 

Your dog is still young, he will calm down, our Jack Russell was about 7 lol. Joking apart he is a big dog and training is crucial and constant reinforcement of that training. Dogs can have a short memory for things that they dont want to do.

I am glad to see you are realising that you are a long term project and things wont be fixed instantly. You are obviously a good judge when it comes to your staff and that is something to be very positive about.

So pleased to hear to have blocked your ex mate. You may look up to his wealth but is that his achievement or his families. I would, from what you say assume the latter. I said it before you have more to be proud of as you started with nothing than someone who has had everything handed to him.

I am happy you are seeing your FiL in a better light. You will not always agree but by the sound of it he will be there when you need him and thats a real blessing. Use his experience in life. I think you said he was a social worker and as such he will have seen some dreadful things and awful situations.

Have a good Easter Monday and enjoy your family.

foxgloves

I second Creswell Crags, but they are opening up very gradually. I don't think they've got the loos & shop (lots of small inexpensive child-friendly bits & bobs to do with ice-age hunters, the caves, etc) open yet. They usually do decent coffee & cakes, but I think even the outside balcony seating might not be available yet. Great place.
Also worth checking Belton House (NT) as they open up again. Took our nephews there when they were younger. They loved the adventure playground & walking down to the lake & looking for deer & squirrels. The coffee shop has been refurbed in the old stable block & it's usually decent coffee. I know this won't be open just yet. Love Matlock Bath (according to Mr F, it's because I like ogling all the bikers, lol) but I think a lot of stuff there won't be open yet. Also police on local news asked people not to overwhelm the place atm as it makes social distancing difficult & facilities not re-opened yet.
Rufford Abbey Park open.... parking bookable online.... nice walk round lake... dogs allowed......an adventure playground type thing.... cafe open for takeaway coffees, usually decent also the cakes, loos open near cafe & the other end near the ford. My nephews' best visit there is when they see a car get stuck in the water. We see lots of children enjoying feeding the ducks & geese. 
Anyway, just some suggestions while I'm on my coffee break. 
F

Grumpelstiltskin

foxgloves said:

I second Creswell Crags, but they are opening up very gradually. I don't think they've got the loos & shop (lots of small inexpensive child-friendly bits & bobs to do with ice-age hunters, the caves, etc) open yet. They usually do decent coffee & cakes, but I think even the outside balcony seating might not be available yet. Great place.
Also worth checking Belton House (NT) as they open up again. Took our nephews there when they were younger. They loved the adventure playground & walking down to the lake & looking for deer & squirrels. The coffee shop has been refurbed in the old stable block & it's usually decent coffee. I know this won't be open just yet. Love Matlock Bath (according to Mr F, it's because I like ogling all the bikers, lol) but I think a lot of stuff there won't be open yet. Also police on local news asked people not to overwhelm the place atm as it makes social distancing difficult & facilities not re-opened yet.
Rufford Abbey Park open.... parking bookable online.... nice walk round lake... dogs allowed......an adventure playground type thing.... cafe open for takeaway coffees, usually decent also the cakes, loos open near cafe & the other end near the ford. My nephews' best visit there is when they see a car get stuck in the water. We see lots of children enjoying feeding the ducks & geese. 
Anyway, just some suggestions while I'm on my coffee break. 
F

I can always remember seeing a RR stuck in the ford at Rufford driver was one of the 'I've got a 4 x 4 and I can go anywhere' types. He ended up having to climb out of the driver's window and getting wet through.

foxgloves

Grumplestiltskin - Yes, you are right, it's so often a driver who has arrogantly misjudged it, lol. Once when we were there & the ford was flooded with warning signs both ends of the lane, we watched a driver attempt it in a small hatchback! My teenage nephew was transfixed!
F

ladyholly

Foxgloves & Grumplestiltskin - One of the entertainments in my area is watching how many cars get stuck in the sand on the beaches. Our tides are some of the highest in the world and what people dont realise is when the tide comes in itstarts under the sand so cars sink beautfully even before the water arrives. You have to be very quick  to rescue and most dont act fast enough. Yesthere are sign and no people either dont see them or ignore them thinking they know best. The classic was several years ago when a police car got stuck. The trouble is salt water doesnt do your vehicle any good at all.