First Steps to Solvency

Purplelady65

I’m sorry to read you had a relapse after doing so well for 2 months - what a shame after all your efforts. However you can only move forwards and reflect on where it went wrong this time and hopefully put some further safeguards in place so there aren’t any further slip ups. 

As other posters have been saying for some time this druggie ‘mate’ isn’t a mate at all and the sooner he’s out of your life the better even if it means taking a hit financially on the business side. He knew that you were trying to stay clean yet came to your house with drugs to bring you down to his level. What sort of a friend would do that to someone? It’s actually mean and cruel what he did and yes, you must have taken what he offered you but he deliberately put temptation in your way.  It sounds as if he came to visit you with the deliberate intention of sabotaging your good intentions. Could you not text or email him and tell him straight you’ll be having nothing further to do with him then block his number on your phone?  All he seems to do is put you down anyway to make you feel bad about yourself - no friend does that. 

You sound to have a very supportive FIL and MIL who are really trying to help you. Your wife and son are coming home tomorrow so there is a lot to be thankful for. 

You say ‘afraid to let go of the addictive stuff in case I lose my drive and remain static for the rest of my days’.  What makes you think that this is likely? Also, what would be so bad about it if you weren’t constantly chasing the next level? There could be upsides. You might find some peace, happiness and contentment and learn to enjoy your life in the present moment.  Maybe something to explore in the counselling about why you feel this way. 

RelievedSheff

I hope you have a great family day today .

warby68

I hope you all have a good day today
Its so obvious that you still have support - make the commitment to use everything at your disposal to get better. There's a big prize at the end (and I don't mean the AM). 
Holiday news looks a bit brighter too.
Take care @alt80

ladyholly

I hope you managed to sleep well. I am pretty certain your in laws do care for you and I am glad you are starting to see that. As your own parents arent easily available you at least have a substitute so use them to help support you through the tough times. There will no doubt be tough times ahead but by properly engaging with your counselling and the support of all your family you will come out the other side and you also have the support of many people on here. We are all rooting for you and your family to develop a more balanced life. One final thought dump your mate now. Do you have a door camera if so dont answer the door to him if he turns up if you havent I should spend a little money and get one. If he appears at your business get one of your staff to deal with him. Block his number on your personal phone and do everything else you can to avoid engaging with him. From what you say he wants to drag you down to his level and yes I did say down. He has nothing except what his parents have provided whereas you have 2 successful businesses which you and you alone have created from nothing. Something to be very proud of.

Have a lovely day today with your family and make some more happy memories.

alt80

Thanks. Had a terrible morning been on the phone with the pros. Not touched anything just massively anxious know I don’t move on from the thought patterns I start risking everything I do have. !!!!!! paralysed to get out of the house weird thoughts if I get in my car I will crash it. Boris announcements tripping me off stuff opening up more opportunities to spend, drink etc. Had the mental issues for years some of the reason why I’ve been in perpetual credit card debt spending money in the hope it’ll make up for being mentally deficient or something just another addictive behaviour lol laughing at myself for that. 

Actually have managed to put the blocks in place to stop myself with the really mad spending. I do the figures, think it through. Budget 100% helped me to use my brain a bit more. Think that’s come easier than the other stuff because I’ve managed to use what I’ve had to do in business port it over. This other stuff I’ve got no transferable skills in like starting over tbh. Something I want to do and think it’s worth it keep doing what the pros tell me and stick with it. There’s people with a lot worse habits who have turned it around.

Need to get out see my family they said they won’t come here having lunch there and I need to get in my car no amount of bleach will make them come here it’s infected with me. 

Bargainhunter30

I think you need to be kinder to yourself, mental health issues are an illness. You would go to the hospital for a broken leg without feeling guilty or judged or bad about yourself. You need to do the same to improve your mental health. Your family are refusing to come to your house because they probably think it will do you good to leave the house and get a change of scenery.  So many people struggle with mental health, I am one of them and it takes time to recover and like yourself,it will be a long journey.

alt80

Thanks the pros say I need to do that give me the exercises. I am doing them. Think it is like a 300kg man starting out in fitness tbh. 

Need to face the car and not be a let down 100%. Nice weather at least to be out.

ladyholly

Drive carefully and have a good time with your family. Lovely day out there.

CRANKY40

Obsessions, self hate, anxiety, depression, over thinking.....autistic spectrum? I'm not putting you down - as an auty myself I'm just observing. Some of my most successful friends are also on the spectrum and one of them in particular has such a low opinion of herself despite being one of the kindest and cleverest people that I know. It's not neccessarily a bad thing, but once you can give it a name you may find you think more of yourself for success in the face of adversity rather than less. 

getmore4less

Was thinking would MG mate be up for a meet or even a drive.

Top down in his MG(if convertible I forget) counts as outside.

He seems to have a level head, a non obsessive attitude to cars(but still into them) he does seem to be on your side with his previous offer of a ride.

If he is good conversation a trip out together might do you good, as he is a positive influence.

if your work office are open it might make sense to go in on a schedule to get you away from your home office.
make it feel more normal.