First Steps to Solvency

Legs21

So nice to hear an upbeat post from you. You’ve had a rollercoaster of a week. Good that you have planned your next week out. By all means stop posting for a bit if you think it would help or continue to use your diary as a place to brain dump. We’ll still be here when you return. We’ve reprimanded you when you’ve been bad, praised you when you’ve been good and advised when you’ve been indecisive or heading down the wrong path. Family time is precious, make the most of it. 

And get that flipping holiday booked... 😎

alt80

@Legs21 thanks yeah it’s a brain dump know that much fml def post before engaging the brain lol know I can’t bear to read back over this week can tell you that, probably sounded !!!!!!. Apologise now if I did write anything offensive idk.

Ha I can’t face the hol booking right now, will see how I am in a weeks time.

ladyholly

Thank you for letting me know re the dog. Keep at it and get some one to one help. I would assume trainers can do some 1 :1 training outside now but if you get in touch with one they will tell you. If I lived anywhere near you I would help but I am in Somerset its a bit far away. 

warby68

Glad you're moving forward @alt80

It can't be easy coming back from a slip but you seem determined to keep going and still have family to support you. The inlaws seem to know that wife has her own problems too. They really do seem very supportive. 

I think you've identified something really central in the last few posts - that you need to relinquish control to others to some extent and literally just do what you're told for a while. To date, you really have fought against a lot of advice and been suspicious of motives and afraid of what you will look like if you admit you can't sort something yourself. That's why you've not really been doing the homework. To admit your way isn't working is a big thing. You have to let yourself be helped and you've struggled to do that. 

Some people close one diary and open a new one if they move to a different phase or if a lot of the stuff has become dated and not very relevant. You could consider that - people can still see them all but the connection is made that you are in a different phase to the previous diary.  

Onebrokelady

I still think you need to give yourself more credit for how well you are doing. You do seem to have a lot of insight into how your thoughts and behaviours effect your life and not many people have that or are prepared to admit to their weaknesses or areas they struggle in. 
So you slipped up but look on it as a learning curve, you have got yourself back where you need to be and with help you should do really well. Hopefully your wife will be more supportive now and stop trying to wind you up and you can keep your distance from the so called friend who isn't a friend at all. 

alt80

@ladyholly ha no worries and thanks. He’s actually quite bright does pick things up just a bit of an idiot loves people/ dogs/ other animals, not aggressive at all which we’re very pleased about. Tbh I don’t think we’d have had a dog had we known how ‘full on’ he is. He came home yesterday my in-laws couldn’t deal with him bouncing around for another day haha. 

@warby68 nothing worth doing is ever easy is it really in life/ business/ whatever. I want to sort myself out, had some times recently for the first time in my life seen a lot brighter future and couple of times thought I might be turning into someone I liked a bit more and the dad I’d like to be - if that’s not worth giving my best shot to achieve I don’t know what is tbt.

My FIL has seen a lot of life lol whilst he and I never going to think the same way on a lot of things tbh he’s been like a dad to me recently. Lol yeah I know 40 and really shouldn’t need my parents but oh well it is what it is. 

I’ve def got issues with control always have had. Used to be really bad, lot worse than now. Early on I think it actually helped me to get set up and going etc but it’s always been destructive to some extent. Not great and yeah I think you’re probably right re therapy. I’ve had a lot of various counselling over recent years as my mental health has got worse, times it’s interfered with my ability to run my business, why I’m in the position I’m in with staff tbh - previous mental episodes / burnout made me realise I really need staff I can depend on because there’s times I can’t depend on myself. It’s !!!!!! tragic really. Get to the point with the therapy I start to think I’m employing them to do this job and that’ll be enough. Idk I need to keep on track.

@Onebrokelady thanks. I think a lot and do think about how to improve things just maybe need to think more about how to improve life alongside how to improve my business. I think it’s something everyone has tbh, nothing special part of what makes us human being able to reflect and improve our standing based on those reflections. I just have a lot of demons going on in my head hindering my progress in life 100% know that much.

I’ve blocked my mate. We do go back a very long way and I’ve always looking up to him. Wanted to be him tbh lol he’s always been living my dream financially. 

alt80

Here goes - 

Predicted variable spends WC 5/4/21
Food - £100
Alcohol - £0 haha off for the month
Coffee out - £10 5/4, £15 (10/4 / 11/4)
Fuel - £150 
Entertainment - £0 (just got walks planned with son for the week and any coffees out accounted for)

Items from N&W budgets
£0 this week unless we book Greece hol at the end of the week. Not going to be £0 week after though we’re all booked in for hair thank god lol.

As there’s a load of people who live locally and full of good suggestions.. any suggestions for Easter hol week commencing 12/4? Was thinking about going for a day to Matlock Bath should get a decent walk along the river and take my son to the aquarium. 

alt80

Can’t sleep as usual, caught the need to buy them something to compensate for being unfortunate enough to have me. Was looking through JL wish list one side of iPad budget open on the other. Fml can’t even spend well anymore ha ability to earn outweighing my ability to spend right now lol never thought I’d see the day I said that. Laughing at myself.

Thinking about what people on here have said who lost parents/ loved ones before their time. How I can be good enough for them without buying stuff. Try the chill app again and hopefully sleep a reasonable amount to get up at a better time in the morning out for a walk before life starts. 

getmore4less

So much better when you have the right people around and planning especially your time.

Try to bring MG mate back into your life  even if you don't have a car or want to borrow.
You could just store it for him if you have the space.

Just don't make it the wife's job to clean it if you do use it.


Budgets are all about the planning, looking a week ahead might help the spend freeze extreme(on the little stuff) making the choices in advance.
Good the in-laws had the chat with the wife on the value of things.





I crashed at 9 then woke up at 1, catching up on walking/talking dead 10c, I have to do horror on my own.

Yesterday sorted out the Weber, new gas bottle and a spring clean ready for the first Aldi steak.

28day fillet twin pack.
Good value(£25/kg) tastes pretty good very tender, you have to pick through the packs some did not look that great.
Not that big at 170g plenty as a portion.
Got some rib eye to try next probably at the weekend.
The Aldi large chick breast packs might appeal to the wife similar price to Sainsbury's in the big packs.

I usually stock up on discount deals from Waitrose, the dry aged on the bone wing rib the best £30/kg gets down to around £10/kg when reduced, if any left.

Also tried some mail order from.
https://reillysons.com/
They had a sirloin deal now £15/kg would look at another order from them, fancy the T-bone currently £10each.

Legs21

You’ve not taken on board what those people have also said about giving everything they own to have those loved ones back.

Someone is always more important than something.