First Steps to Solvency

CRANKY40

You're doing well, you're not a waster and it's good to see you and wife both making the effort. If you want to plant something else with your son then peas grow super fast with the bonus that you have something to eat at the end of it. 

alt80

@RelievedSheff thick skinned or not what I wrote was out of order.

Hope you’re right re family past five years or so just been like waiting for some death sentence tbh 

warby68

People help because you're NOT a waster.
Its so obvious there's a decent man underneath.
So glad you now see 'another option' - your mindset is changing even if its really hard work and control of the finances has obviously been a good foundation for starting to take control of everything else.
You and your wife are a right pair sometimes but obviously are still invested in each other. Glad she's making the effort too. 
One day, you'll read your diary back and see what everyone else saw - 2 different men. The drug affected one and the underneath one - doing battle. Even though it was a long time before you admitted what the real problem was it was obvious there was something big.  
I like your idea of employing your business thinking to your personal life. It will help you dump some of the baggage and make rational decisions, hopefully starting with cars.

Onwards and upwards @alt80

Grumpelstiltskin

Have a ride out to Newark one day. Park at Waitrose take your son for a walk around the castle, ( read up about King John before you go and then you can tell him the story ) and then shop at Waitrose.

RelievedSheff

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Have a ride out to Newark one day. Park at Waitrose take your son for a walk around the castle, ( read up about King John before you go and then you can tell him the story ) and then shop at Waitrose.

And don't forget to visit the excellent butchers in the market square for some of their dry cured smoked bacon while you are there.

ladyholly

Wasters are not in top earners category, they don't have a family, a nice house or successful businesses. Wasters are people who live on the back of others, take what they have bee given and snort it up their nose. They don't have a caring family  but are quite happy to drag others into their destructive behaviours - are you recognising the description. You are a great provider and the sooner you realise you have so much to give to your wife and son the happier you will be. I don't mean things, I mean time and care.
Have a good day. 

Humdinger1

@alt80 wow, you are doing so well.  Lightbulb moments sometimes flicker and happen more than once but I'm convinced that you've now made the decision.   Well done for deleting all users from your phone; it's so good that you have someone at work you can trust and your wife's attitude is fab; spot on.  You will get there Humdinger 

elbree

Well done @alt80, it seems like each time you stumble you come back stronger, with more resolution, more hope and more able to accept the support your family are keen to give. They obviously think you are a great guy and we see that too. Retraining your mindset takes time as you've discovered but you haven't given up when it got tough. You should be proud of that. Have a good week! 

feeldaburn

Sounds like you're doing better! 
Just a reminder again about the pressie I suggested for Xmas I think of signing up for a race with your wife - could be nice to have something to focus on for you and it sounds like her foot is getting there! Nice 10k maybe?

enthusiasticsaver

Some great posts there and you seem to be back on the right path with your wife's support. Keep it up. You can have a great life if you just keep as disciplined on the drug/alcohol avoidance as you are now with personal spends. More fun and less stress needs to be your mantra from now on.