First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Warby I understand that on some at least the sound effects only work at certain speeds. There are issues for people who use guide dogs as the dogs are taught to listen for vehicles. This is only what I have heard as since I am no longer allowed to drive I don't take much notice of car features. 

theoretica

You needing to stick to your homework reminded me of something you wrote ages back about your wife's brief foray into personal training - and the people she was training not putting in what they needed to so not getting the results they wanted.  Seems very similar - loads of people hit the gym or roads because they need to and want the results and not because it is something they want to do and it's an ongoing endeavour not something you can just throw money at or do once and it's done.

getmore4less

New Kia 580 hp  

Tesla's have the edge of the tech other manufacturers make cars for a living so a bit more tuned  to the market and can catch up.

In the US you could run a Tesla within a business for free with all the tax breaks.

the_end_of_the_rainbow

dawnybabes said:

You really are worth it, my DH was a high earner, he died 10 weeks ago, I’m comfortable for life because of our decisions / planning any years ago. My son and I would swop every bloody penny for him to be here. 

@dawnybabes I’m so very sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself x

alt80

Struggling with the sleep been looking through photos of when I took my son to the garden centre and walking before lockdown 2. Someone on here suggested it, can’t thank them enough it’s one of the best days of my life. Took the dog in my car too wasn’t weird about it that day. Some days I’m paralysed over touching surfaces don’t like finger prints or don’t want to scratch surfaces not just the car all kinds of things. Mental I know. Didn’t even trip off from son and dog being dirty that day lots of photos of them muddy and enjoying themselves in the autumn colours. Spent an hour showing my fil the photos he said I could do it again this Easter holiday get photos with the spring colours. Idk it’s not that I want to keep away from my son just don’t want to wreck his life chances being around a waster like me. Want the best for him. Can’t even pay for the best school as my mate pointed out. I’m pleased with my sons school they did well over lockdown thought it was a bit of a waste before then they’ve been brilliant and my son recently he’s been flying with progress. My mate says it’s not great there’s a lot better but need more money which I don’t have. He knows I don’t have, knows all about my financial situation he’s always been rich and I’ve always been the ‘poor one’. 

My parents might still be alive but they aren’t my mum and dad anymore as I remember them. Didn’t have them at my wedding day or sisters never any family events they come to. Not even citizens of the same country anymore but can’t imagine them not being here one day my parents won’t be here and I have avoided visiting them put getting photos above visiting my parents. I know it’s spending money but I do want to visit them this year paralysed to book it though idk why it’s 100% accounted for and all I can think is could come off my cards. Got this timeframe in my head and I want to smash it tbh smashing my targets shouldn’t come before my family. 

My wife says we can plan our evening and weekend time around my therapy. @theoretica yeah I can relate to that I’m a lot better when I keep to the program. Signed myself up for the abusive husband session never hit her hope I never would but I’ve done mental stuff controlling not a nice person hard to live with myself tbh.

Im sorry to hear about those who have lost loved ones far too soon. Life is not fair for sure it’s really cruel sometimes I think.

@anon2020 thank you for posting it’s a cycle of all that. Actually read a book on it agreed with the lot I was giving in to it before I did any substances allowed myself to get into the mindset. 12 step is part of the 28 day thing it’s structured got a timetable and only going to be able to work part time whilst I’m doing it. Start on this road again I’ll be there full time residential inpatient fml what things have come to it’s depressing.

Legs21

Your son is too young to understand the full extent of your mental health, money or drug issues. All he will see is if you are happy or sad, there or not there. Try thinking back to his age, what do you remember? I suggested you take a selfie of the 3 of you on your weekend walks and for your son to stick it in a notepad and write about his favourite part of the day. You said you had A5 notebooks you could give him. Did you do it? I also suggested Wednesday evening family meetings to discuss what you were all doing together on the weekend so you all had an input and a plan. Are you doing those? 

alt80

Can’t sleep and I’ve got no reason to like it but I keep thinking about getting that little Honda e to runabout town for jobs, school etc. Total contrast to the RR and could add a Vantage or a DB9 later. I know it seems mental - it’s really slow and I don’t usually like little hatchbacks but looks like a futuristic version of a real car. I !!!!!! love it with no reason to whatsoever. It’s everything I usually hate in a car tbh even got a rubbish badge ha but I just think it looks amazing 😆

@getmore4less looked at the Kia with your prompt 100% impressive specs but just looks weird like the I-pace - the specs impress me but I can’t get over the looks. Idk every single one of the electric cars apart from the little Honda leave me cold. I hate driving something that I just feel numb to, get that with my current BM; it’s a really decent car 100% most capable BMW I’ve owned but it’s numb, every one I’ve had since my E36 M3 I’ve just been disappointed with, all been quick enough but no real fun. 

As everyone on here points out RR = !!!!!! wagon 100% but I just have a thing for them best everyday cars going imo. Couldn’t care less what people think of it tbh the 5ltr supercharged is a glorious engine and I love the thing. Loved them since my I bought my first P38 fml I got some flack for that thing when that !!!!!! Layer Cake film came out not long after I bought it haha good memories there lol even if I was people taking the p I wouldn’t have done anything different. Bought it on a whim too, had an old 911 and decided I needed a BIG car for day to day remember it clear as day workmate saying to me what I need is a Range Rover. It was a joke but I went to Land Rover and fell in love with the massive truck no reason to it had a 4ltr rover v8 with a lazy old autobox massively outdated for its age at the time there was stuff in the 60s with those rover v8s and grossly inefficient in every way, wasn’t fast, depreciated like a !!!!!! stone can tell you that but I loved that car only swapped it for a new Sport with the supercharged. Only bought that because I couldn’t stretch to the last of the line L322 with the same engine but still loved it def think the L322 is the one that got away, still look at them now when they’re in nice condition and pass by lol. Would not be without my FFRR even with the circumstances I bought it in being stupid. Feel free to tell me I’m not a really interested in cars just after a badge maybe that’s what it is idk but some cars just have a good feel and others don’t. I don’t have a lot of reason to the cars I like I just like them. Get it with my mates 1966 MGB GT takes a bit of getting used to and slow but def something about it so I don’t suppose they have to have a big engine or be quick. I love that little car too despite how slow it is and the badge etc probably never going to see it again now. Got a picture of my son in the drivers seat will show it to him when he’s older tell him about the drive I took him on. That’s what I’m going to miss about not having a sports car.

alt80

@Legs21 not a lot from that age really tbh thanks mate I get myself sorted now maybe he won’t ever found out. Can live in hope lol

I did do the journal with him a few times he loves it thank you. I always get photos of him and his mum together but he likes the random stuff the best leaves or something funny. Make him stick a picture of him and my wife in the book though he’ll look back at that one day and smile know that. I look back to pics I’ve got from my childhood. Not many but there’s some funny ones. 

Wednesday evening thing didn’t work. Wife didn’t want to do it. Idk why I might ask again it’d be good. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff what are you doing out of bed 10pm lol. 

I really don’t like Tesla’s lot of people I know are mad for them. Don’t think they look good and shocking interior too IMO but the 3 going on the staff co car list they want one I don’t mind. Leaf/ Zoe - no thanks. 

It was a late night for us last night 🤣🤣🤣

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

Struggling with the sleep been looking through photos of when I took my son to the garden centre and walking before lockdown 2. Someone on here suggested it, can’t thank them enough it’s one of the best days of my life. Spent an hour showing my fil the photos he said I could do it again this Easter holiday get photos with the spring colours.

Idk it’s not that I want to keep away from my son just don’t want to wreck his life chances being around a waster like me. Want the best for him.

 Can’t even pay for the best school as my mate pointed out. I’m pleased with my sons school they did well over lockdown thought it was a bit of a waste before then they’ve been brilliant and my son recently he’s been flying with progress. My mate says it’s not great there’s a lot better but need more money which I don’t have. He knows I don’t have, knows all about my financial situation he’s always been rich and I’ve always been the ‘poor one’. 

My parents might still be alive but they aren’t my mum and dad anymore as I remember them. Didn’t have them at my wedding day or sisters never any family events they come to. Not even citizens of the same country anymore but can’t imagine them not being here one day my parents won’t be here and I have avoided visiting them put getting photos above visiting my parents. I know it’s spending money but I do want to visit them this year paralysed to book it though idk why it’s 100% accounted for and all I can think is could come off my cards. Got this timeframe in my head and I want to smash it tbh smashing my targets shouldn’t come before my family. 

My wife says we can plan our evening and weekend time around my therapy. @theoretica yeah I can relate to that I’m a lot better when I keep to the program. Signed myself up for the abusive husband session never hit her hope I never would but I’ve done mental stuff controlling not a nice person hard to live with myself tbh.

Im sorry to hear about those who have lost loved ones far too soon. Life is not fair for sure it’s really cruel sometimes I think.

@anon2020 thank you for posting it’s a cycle of all that. Actually read a book on it agreed with the lot I was giving in to it before I did any substances allowed myself to get into the mindset. 12 step is part of the 28 day thing it’s structured got a timetable and only going to be able to work part time whilst I’m doing it. Start on this road again I’ll be there full time residential inpatient fml what things have come to it’s depressing.

Can you see the difference between the positive influences in your life and the destructive?

Your wife offers to plan the weekend and evenings around your therapy and you had one of the best days in your life with your son doing normal fun stuff. Your FIL listens to you talk for an hour about good times you have had and encourages you to do it again. All really supportive and takes you back to fun days you had as a child with your parents and sister. Make it a priority to visit Greece as soon as we can travel and you can make the dates work. Your parents won't be around forever so find the time and money to visit them and let them enjoy your son too.

On the other hand your "mate" brings you drugs and demeans you, making you feel like you are "poor" when you are in the top percentile of earners and live in a lovely house from all accounts, have two successful businesses, a son in private school, a supportive wife  and two nice cars. He is the "waste of space" and you really need him out of your life for good. As I said yesterday addicts love other addicts, he is using you to validate his life choices, he is only rich because his parents earned the money and frankly did an awful job of bringing him up into a lazy, spoilt entitled adult who can't maintain relationships or stay sober or clean. He wants to drag you down to his level. Next time he calls shut the door in his face.

Get clean for your sons sake if not your own whether you stay with your wife or not. You are not a "waster" you are his Dad and if you don't make the effort to stick with the programme and stay clean all he will think in the future is you cared more about drugs and fast cars than him? Do you really want to leave him with that legacy?