First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

You are doing so well resisting cravimngs, contacting your counsellor for help when think are hard which they must be when your wife says and does such hurtful things to you. The game she is playing is blaming you for everything so she doesnt have to take any responsibilty for anything. I hope today is a better day for you and you got some sleep.

efes_shareholder

well done resisting the urges when your wife is behaving so awfully.
Maybe she can take heed from the example you are setting with abstaining from temptations in search of a better future.
She seriously needs to learn that the grass isn't always greener elsewhere and that its greenest where you water it ! She needs to grow up but i'm sure you know this too.
Encourage her to go on tinder , good luck to her with that one !!! She's not quite the catch she thinks she is , she maybe in good shape etc but shes spoilt , quite shallow , unable to support herself , no career aspirations and has someone elses sperm running round the front room , I am sure there will be no shortage of sports proffessionals on huge salaries ready to take her on  !!! maybe sugardaddy.com would be a better shout as somewhere in her head she really believes she is worthy of over indulging on other peoples hard work - I very much doubt she will find anything other then *u*k boys residing in their childhood bedrooms on apps such as these and you know what if she finds any different ................cheerio !! 
I dont know how you are finding the patience and the strength to deal with her to be honest , your spouse should be your biggest cheerleader and source of support and instead you have a petulant child who sulks over things she wants that basically give her the image she wants.

RelievedSheff

It is a fresh day. Lets hope that today is a better one for you.

ryanm8655

Encourage his wife and mother of his child to go on tinder? Are you all crazy?

If she’s serious then there’s no future there, move on. I wouldn’t put up with that. Plus you’ve got her messaging the mate she despises and who drags you down offering herself if he gets clean. That’s next level messed up.

It’s the sort of thing you expect from a relationship with a manipulative teenager, not a grown woman and mother.

Ot is not normal for someone her age either, I’m younger than her. No way I’d put up with that.

Sorry.

efes_shareholder

ryanm8655 said:

Encourage his wife and mother of his child to go on tinder? Are you all crazy?

If she’s serious then there’s no future there, move on. I wouldn’t put up with that. Plus you’ve got her messaging the mate she despises and who drags you down offering herself if he gets clean. That’s next level messed up.

It’s the sort of thing you expect from a relationship with a manipulative teenager, not a grown woman and mother.

Ot is not normal for someone her age either, I’m younger than her. No way I’d put up with that.

Sorry.

Personally I think she needs a slap of reality !!! she is not the little princess she envisages herself to be 

Four_Seasons

many years ago I was with someone who manipulated me, if I didn't agree/give in etc., would threaten to leave, I stupidly gave in and even apologised! one day they picked up their car keys and said they were leaving (I didn't apologise) they left - two days later they rang me, was I ready to apologise and ask them to come back? No! they still came back and the dynamics of our relationship had changed but it was too late, we broke up a few months later. What I am trying to say is all her threats are so damaging to your relationship perhaps like me one day you will reach the end of your tether.  Don't be manipulated by your wife you are worth so very much more.  I also agree that you must talk to her parents, she needs help, if she gets involved with tinder it will affect not only you but your son and her parents, as they will eventually have to sort her mess out.
You are doing so well be proud of yourself and the changes you have made.

getmore4less

I am not sure she is really ready to prostitute herself because that is what it will need to get the sort of paid for life style she is looking for.
Is she really into s*x that much because she will have to put out big time to get what she wants and a few along the way will be far better at manipulating her than she will be of them this won't be a one stop shop getting stuff bought for her.

Anyway on the numbers you need to make it clear this is not extra pocket money all you are doing is allowing the budget to act as a buffer pot and once that is gone there is no more until replaced buy the selling of other things.

Can't remember what was left for the year from stuff, beauty, hair etc but pretty sure that £1.7k uses up all the stuff and will be eating into the others and will be really messing up the cashflows if not replaced quickly..

I know you say you are trying to be on best but some of this needs pushing back 
I am not sure what will work but some plain speaking might,   this is what there is live with it,  we are the richest 1% in town good luck finding better, I am fed up of busting a gut funding your IG cr*pl(it is not lifestyle) I am spending more time at home with my son who is the most important person in my life     etc.

Another reason to be coming home on time, and going to family events you need to be watching her like hawk  if you won't engage the inlaws with a cry for help she will be manipulating them against you.

I remember saying it before parents  know if she messes up with you they are the ones that will be getting her back and I do not think they will want that any time soon.

If we were to cross paths in Santorini I should warn you I can be a big mouth after a few and who knows where that could go if the wife came along in all her fake designer stuff.

Iamouttheotherside

I'm with @ryanm8655 and ditch the bxxxh, if I, or my husband even threatened to go on any dating site or put mockery to our marriage vows, they would be thrown out by the other person.  I would stop putting money in any joint accounts, open up (if you don't have already), your own accounts and put all the money in there.  Stop her being a second card holder on any accounts and tell her you are not funding her and her boyfriends lifestyle and you will let her parents know of her choices.  I would also next time she threatens to leave go upstairs pack a bag and tell her its there ready for her to go and you are not putting up with her threats anymore.   She has a life most women would dream of yet she chucks it all back in your face she is a disgrace!  I can assure you when you stand up to her and show her that her behaviour is not acceptable, her attitude will change.  

warby68

Have to say I'm with @ryanm8655 after the last few anecdotes.
I know there is only one side of the story here but pimping yourself out in front of your husband because you can't have a £2k handbag is beyond my limits. Even if its childish acting out, only children get a free pass. 

strawb_shortcake

ryanm8655 said:

Encourage his wife and mother of his child to go on tinder? Are you all crazy?

If she’s serious then there’s no future there, move on. I wouldn’t put up with that. Plus you’ve got her messaging the mate she despises and who drags you down offering herself if he gets clean. That’s next level messed up.

It’s the sort of thing you expect from a relationship with a manipulative teenager, not a grown woman and mother.

Ot is not normal for someone her age either, I’m younger than her. No way I’d put up with that.

Sorry.

I think it's more to realise if this is an actual threat or if it's going to call her bluff. Alt can't keep second guessing what her motives are and effectively buying stuff he can't really afford atm to keep her, it's not healthy for either of them and something needs to give.

Alternatively, if Alt's wife was to be truly unhappy in the marriage giving her the space to explore her options might well be the grown up thing to do, hard to watch possibly and like Alt said it comes with caveats that he's not bank rolling her hook ups. When she is not looking at counselling I'm not sure what the other alternatives are