First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Happy Friday. First time in a long time I’m properly looking forward to the weekend and logging off a bit early today.

Do need to sort my finances out still. Last night had an evening with the wife. She’s agreed to do the counselling sessions and is going to have an IG abstinence over March. 4 days off and she’s loving it getting back into old hobbies and not thinking about content all the time and stuff she needs to buy for content. Yesterday probably first time since I’ve known her completely makeup free day. Not trying to gain any points or anything but tbh she looks better without it than the full ‘unreal’ look ha. Ended up staying up late talking to her both of us think this worth working on- moving away from the destructive stuff and more time for our son. 100 people in my life will tell me spending my weekend days walking and watching TV is lame tbh I don’t even care anymore. 

I’ve never considered it’s ok to be tired and want to sleep before but getting more done in the day in a lot less hours everything properly planned out. Serious about a change in lifestyle and going to take peoples advice again from here and visit my parents use the budget allocation. 

One-step-at-a-time

This is great! Really nice to hear that your wife is starting to get on board

Sun_Addict

So good to read such a positive post. Glad your wife is getting on board the IG was obviously no good for her mental health. Anyone who tells you spending quality time with family is lame just aren’t worth knowing, they’re the lame ones not you. Glad you’ve decided to visit your parents. I’ve seen a news article saying Greece will welcome Brits back with or without a vaccine.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Happy Friday. First time in a long time I’m properly looking forward to the weekend and logging off a bit early today.

Do need to sort my finances out still. Last night had an evening with the wife. She’s agreed to do the counselling sessions and is going to have an IG abstinence over March. 4 days off and she’s loving it getting back into old hobbies and not thinking about content all the time and stuff she needs to buy for content. Yesterday probably first time since I’ve known her completely makeup free day. Not trying to gain any points or anything but tbh she looks better without it than the full ‘unreal’ look ha. Ended up staying up late talking to her both of us think this worth working on- moving away from the destructive stuff and more time for our son. 100 people in my life will tell me spending my weekend days walking and watching TV is lame tbh I don’t even care anymore. 

I’ve never considered it’s ok to be tired and want to sleep before but getting more done in the day in a lot less hours everything properly planned out. Serious about a change in lifestyle and going to take peoples advice again from here and visit my parents use the budget allocation. 

This post has made me smile this morning. All of your hard work is starting to pay off. Well done for persevering with it.

It is nice to see that your wife is starting to get onboard as well. 

Happy Friday  

getmore4less

Sounding good this morning.
Some progress with the wife as well, should be a good weekend.

Finances.....
The important thing is there is a plan that is achievable, you know you are under this month so that is good, you can decide what to do with the surplus when you have time, have a think about the next month and if that still looks ok nothing big forgotten about  then it is again a March of just being cautious and thinking about value.

Mucking about with budgets can become an obsession  but there are diminishing returns on any effort you  passed that point a while ago, you have nailed all the big stuff there is not much else you can do.

No magic missing change that will make any difference(apart from the obvious but that won't be happening) so it is a case of keep an eye on it and stop obsessing.

Pleased you are looking at the family option,  something to work on, plan out  and enjoy a work in progress.

warby68

Great post this morning @alt80

Sorry you had a down couple of days but I think the thing to take from that is recovery won't be linear and the lows are nowhere near as manic and destructive mentally as before.
38 (I think) days clean is fantastic - one day at a time has added up to something quite substantial now.

Wife getting on board - how good is that?

None of us know really how much of your individual problems are tied up with the other and your history, her spending directly relates to your coke habit, you push her away, she feels insecure and goes on IG, she spends like mad you go crazy because of the pressure etc. If each of you are working on your own things, noone can ask more and I've been hopeful all along that you'd work it out and will keep everything crossed now that this is the start of a new long term. It looks like she knows she has problems even though she tries hard to pass it all on to you. It would be good if the IG life just faded away for her with a good real life taking over.

Going to see your parents - I'm glad you've taken the advice. Some things matter more than the cost - this is one - and the cost is budgetted anyway. This is a regret you really don't want to have for much longer.  Its only your little nagging 'take it to the extreme demon' making you want to hoard it for more debt payment. 

I haven't posted much lately but have read along and its so obvious how different you are. Some of the traits, worries and self-doubts will still be there in a clean you and always need managing but so much easier when you can see them clearly.

For me  looking in, your next challenge might be letting a bit of control go. You've resisted personal budgets long and hard, even down to not giving son a bit of spends to start understanding money himself. I think its still down to you wanting 100% control and hoping you can squeeze the budget or find that elusive miracle for faster debt and car payoff. Keep looking at this option @alt80- there's a reason its the obvious way for many many couples on many many budgets and with differing priorities, an amount of money which is agreed mutually but then not scrutinised by the other after that. Its not controlling as you think, your way is probably more controlling where every spend either has to be approved by you or is a direct stand against you and easily leads to conflict. You think I'm a bit schoolmarm anyway, so I'm setting this as next month's homework or food for thought at least.

Keep going @alt80. Your hard work is paying off , it really is. 

maddiemay

@alt80 What a lovely post to read to start my day, love it.

theoretica

A friend was spending more time than she wanted on facebook so she got her husband to change her password and then she logged out.  She asks him to log her in every week or two to catch up with the bits she cares about and logs out after an hour or so.  Could instagram work that way?

carolbee

What a lovely positive post. Have a great weekend with your family

ladyholly

Great post. I hope you told your wife that you love seeing her without the make up. So glad she is prepared to engage with the counselling. Looking forward to the weekend is wonderful and I hope all 3 of you plus your dog  enjoy your time together. It has really put a smile on my face.