First Steps to Solvency

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Still wide awake, don’t know about sending her back to the in-laws. Might find some money in the budget to !!!!!! pay them to take her back. Half hope she does find some footballer won’t be my problem anymore ha. Don’t know why I !!!!!! bother sometimes.

Feel like getting absolutely !!!!!! ha but not going to lol.

I’d be feeling as livid as you. Keep cool though, hold it together for yourself and your son.

If anyone could do better it is you in all honesty! Try get some sleep. 

alt80

Better on here with the rant than drinking or buying something or whatever. Not touched anything went to bed with the chill app lasted no time can’t do that with my mind full of this stuff. People on here made me think about it and reaction to some other stuff I’ve written - it’s not normal my marriage. I knew that anyway fleeting hopes all the !!!!!! time she’ll find herself, even if it isn’t work just not !!!!!! IG. I just wanted to make everything right for her, turned into a !!!!!! over time admit that and made her work for it know that. Doesn’t matter what she says about me or finding someone else or me trying to deny that I care I’ve got it so !!!!!! bad for her I indulged every BS IG worthy holiday no matter how bad the debts were. Didn’t enjoy one just before refinance I ended up in hospital abroad twice massive panic attacks all because I couldn’t tell her if just about maxed the three cards I took out there and she wanted this pair of shoes I shouldn’t get for her that she’d been telling everyone on there she was getting. Telling me I couldn’t let her down ended up moving money around to buy them knowing I was driving back home praying my car wouldn’t run out of petrol. FML look back now and think what a !!!!!! idiot. 

Think it’s lead me to some !!!!!! awful views on women don’t want my son thinking some of the stuff I do sometimes tbh don’t even think it’s true myself half use it to rationalise my marriage pretend it’s normal the others aren’t, mines the way it should be etc. FML I don’t believe women have some biological urge to not work my mum is the hardest grafter I know she would disown me if she heard me saying some of the stuff I wrote on here the other day think my dad would too tbt lol. 

alt80

@ryanm8655 thanks mate, yeah I’m not touching anything need to stay away from it 100%. Gone to bed don’t trust myself downstairs lol, just can’t sleep and need to work tomorrow too. Try the chill app again in a few I think.

Legs21

Your wife on IG is the equivalent of you being on the Chang. It gives her warped views, irrational thoughts and over dramatic outbursts. She needs to get off it for good!

You’re really going to have to be strong today as you’ll be sleep deprived and probably won’t be thinking straight. 

RelievedSheff

Well that was quite some evening!

Understandable that you didn't get much sleep with that little lot.

At some point before the weekend I think you need to have a sit down and a chat with the wife for both your sakes.

You could make a TV series about your life  

alt80

Forced myself to get up - get out of the routine of getting up just going to lead to the bad habits starting. Actually did get a bit of sleep - but touching nothing today. Keep away from the world lol.

@Legs21 yeah can see where you’re coming from.

@RelievedSheff I know I sound like a deranged !!!!!! idiot mate. Look back on a lot of my past decisions think I might be. I just want the quiet life now can’t face going through all this again reflect on it and can’t keep going through the stress of having a lifestyle would rather just not bother.

getmore4less

I go to bed early and .......

I got up early and did some things for a couple of hours now caught up on this.

Bit of a bomb shell but not that surprising shame she can't see the manipulation under her nose.

Try mumsnet for a while some real crazies on there

The IG stuff is a nightmare if you get pulled in there is quite a lot on youtube as well.

Was looking at an influencer the other day they had some interesting stuff about LA but they make shedloads from the adverts on their blog, they even make money from the blog entries that say how much money they are making on their blogs and how you can make money by blogging.

Understandable to be very angry about this but try to be the positive influence

I think the plan is good, business is robust and your head is in the right place, keep repeating this is what we have to do  it will get better but not for a while, this will  secure our future etc.


Any BS about not being good enough, I could get anyone, you are mean with my spends can be countered with are you in to make this work or not?


Could you dress up as a footballer might fool her into thinking she got one......... seems to get fooled fairly easily 



  

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Forced myself to get up - get out of the routine of getting up just going to lead to the bad habits starting. Actually did get a bit of sleep - but touching nothing today. Keep away from the world lol.

@Legs21 yeah can see where you’re coming from.

@RelievedSheff I know I sound like a deranged !!!!!! idiot mate. Look back on a lot of my past decisions think I might be. I just want the quiet life now can’t face going through all this again reflect on it and can’t keep going through the stress of having a lifestyle would rather just not bother.

Day 30 today isn't it?

alt80

@getmore4less thanks mate made me smile anyway lol. She loves the whole influencer thing knows they’re selling products but her logic - they’re selling to me. 100% I’ve let her indulge her IG got into a fair amount of debt for it and just can’t do it anymore. Can’t stop !!!!!! thinking about the stupid decisions I’ve made this morning. Absolutely not just her I know that.

@RelievedSheff yeah day 30.

Willowtree222

Not sure how you got through the night as I would be awake absolutely livid. I thought she had a motive underneath it as the things she were saying were a deliberate thing and picking everything you said caused anxiety. The business, her leaving, your son etc etc. 
I can only say I am sorry that you feel so rubbish at the minute. She lives in her own world and if she is waiting to see who is out there post lockdown then she might be in for a huge shock. Short term she might get lucky, but if she wants the long term life then she would be lucky to find someone willing to deal with her ways. 

Don't want the post to just focus on that though as you have probably spent the night focusing on it enough. 
You are at day 30. Congrats! That is amazing 
You recognise triggers and are staying away from things today as you know it might cause you to make decisions you don't want to make. 
You are dealing with your debt and budget and sticking to it
You have got rid of negative influences (I suspect JV mate is the same as your wife- desperate to get you back on it for their own means and selfish reasons). 


Take it easy today Alt. x