First Steps to Solvency

enthusiasticsaver

Some really positive stuff in your last few posts and sounds like you are really enjoying playing around with the budget and financial planning.  I love that too.  Playing around with numbers and eventually you will be able to use that money for something better than paying off debt. 

Not sure I entirely get the gist of your plan but I think you are planning to put your everyday spends on a 0% purchase card (presumably new one?) and not save for emergencies and pots for holidays etc so that you can meet the deadlines on the current deals? I think so long as you are still currently tracking the spending there is not a problem per se with that if you can stay disciplined and obviously those everyday spends will also need  to be repaid.  Personally I don't have a problem with interest free credit providing it is manageable within the deal periods. I just find it less complicated to not run our finances like that and maybe once your current debt is gone you may feel the same. 

I am glad to hear that the forum has helped you get your finances on a better footing and although I do not always agree with your views I think you have genuinely turned both your finances and  health around by not only getting really on board with budgeting but also kicking the bad stuff and reducing alcohol etc.  I am sure if you can keep this going things will look really good for you. Glad to hear you spoke to your wife about constant threats to leave and find someone richer (I personally think she is living in cloud cuckoo land if she thinks she will easily find someone who will shower her with gifts and allow her to live a life of luxury).  That is not good for your confidence or stress levels and it is important not only from the money side but from the health side that you stay balanced at the moment so you are not tempted to stray into the substance abuse again. 

Hope you get a good refinancing deal for the BTL. As you say growth in that will help to  increase income so being able to focus on that at some point instead of repaying debt may help you reach your goals. 

getmore4less

Long post not seeing anything jumping out.
Good to get the thoughts down.

Some just don't get cash flow analysis along side a budget and need to micro manage with things like pots and emergency funds even when they are borrowing the money to have them.

alt80

@Sun_Addict thank you. Think that’s were I’ve been struggling with not being able to come to terms with a very difficult 4/5 years, not waking up/ light bulb not coming on etc. Debt always been an issue, prior to the real mental stuff but not to any real extent that I was destroying myself. Agreed, I’ve got to park the ‘what ifs’. I’m 40 should be enough time left to build on what I have but the road I was going down may have not been. Some of the things you’d said to me re stress etc made me think. Hope you don’t think this is bad but some of the things you’ve said about stress a likely contributor to your husband’s condition and the fact you don’t live far away made me think I need to work with the professionals get the stress under control and stop using the stuff (not saying your husband ever did that just it can lead to severe health problems). I know the local connection shouldn’t mean anything, just thought !!!!!! if this can happen in NG4, FML that’s close to home - don’t even ask ha.

@stymied thank you. Absolutely agreed re time of year - the occasions to get through are Mother’s Day, her birthday, wedding anniversary and Christmas. 

Rather not go down the round of her spends not being itemised - all part of same budget and if she is wasting money needs to be discussed imo. 

Haha re parents in law, you’re right, up to them lol.

theoretica

There are quite a number of different ways of handling budgets - which one is right for a certain person depends on their emotional reactions to money and calculations as well as the overall cost. The one you have chosen needs a reasonable amount of self control, keeping on top of, and calculations.  Some other methods need less calculation and are easier to see at a glance where you are. 

Some people with a debt at 0% will pay it off gradually over time, others will build up a positive balance in another account and pay it off in one go just before the 0% period ends.  Similar financial result (at the moment - when positive balances used to get interest the second way could be better).  But different people emotionally prefer one or the other of these and find it easier to keep on track, either seeing the negative balance decrease to zero or the positive balance grow to target.

alt80

@Nicnak Thanks should add 27 days today. Def want to see the alcohol free at 31 before a drink, possibly being slightly obsessive with that, am trying to keep note of the obsessive stuff and work out if it’s getting too much ha.

Definitely isn’t what I want, she knows that. I’m really working every tool I’ve been given by the professional, treating it like a second business lol. If I ever make it with the counselling etc will be the best thing I’ve ever done, both for me and family imo so really important to keep at it.

@katsu ha re diary a delight, is that sarcasm 😆 - can never tell in written word lol.

Yeah my wife is a worry but I need to trust her. She says she will stick to the budget. I don’t trust her now, I never will no way to carry on having no trust. Iswym re reasoning of the other way of doing things tbf if things don’t go to plan I’ll have to have a rethink. 

@enthusiasticsaver Thanks, that’s my plan - AM time lol keeps me going, maybe Ryan is right it’s pure procrastination and I’ll never actually pull the trigger on one but it’s helping on the days I’m wanting to spend irrationally think buy the !!!!!! can forget the future AM. You’re probably reading that thinking ‘idiot’ haha.

Yes you get the general gist. Tbh when I get into the mad spending I’d find a way no matter how. Plan is to keep to the tracking, really start crunching the data against each budget category. When the control is there I can be disciplined- you/ others on here likely find that difficult to believe but I know I can be although less I trust myself more I tend to think !!!!!! it.

Probably right re wife idk but yes you’re right it’s been affecting my self worth (not that it was great to begin with lol).

Portfolio refinance will definitely help. Another step away from the madness, likewise moving the rest of the flats from my block on. Depending how the refinance goes, I may keep a couple and am keeping the management but will be very glad to see the back of the stress. I’ve had a few periods of fairly heavy substance abuse over the past 4/5 years - always got off it but haven’t walked away from the casual use or sought professional help apart from this time so yeah I’m hoping and !!!!!! praying tbh it works for good this time.

@getmore4less this has driven me !!!!!! mad for months mate - not gonna lie two nights in a row I stayed up absolutely wired to crunch numbers on excel trying to understand why I was getting a lot of advice that effectively made me slightly worse off. Genuinely thought I’d lost it entirely. 😆

@theoretica thank you. Yeah the positive balances net gain pay 0% end of term I’ve considered when I was thinking about spread betting - using surplus over mins to trade, spends on 0%. Realised it was risky at best probably reckless at worst (with no experience). One option would work to throw in cash savings account would gain some interest but so little I’m not sure worth it unless I open a current account with Natwest - 3% cash savings offer. FML you’ve given me something else to think about mate haha.  

RelievedSheff

Good Morning. Hope you have another productive work day and find some family time.

Only 4 days to go until you are 31 days without a drink. That is great going. Well done. You can have a well earned drink with the wife at the weekend  

I'm pretty sure that your way of working the budget, paying off the debt and day to day spending wouldn't work for us. It would still feel as though we were borrowing from our future self to pay for our day to day spends. But as others have already said what works for one person really doesn't necessarily work for the next when it comes to paying down the balances.

alt80

Back to waking up in the night twice once no idea why did get back to sleep fairly easily at least so not getting stressed about it. Bad sleep habits then over analysing it’s definitely not helped me over the years.

Lot of work to do today at least my senior guy is back. Does that again think I’ll be having a word tbh fairly sure his drinking habits are out of all control ha. Also going to plan weekend when I get a few minutes lucky to have a wife who loves her sport but both said need to rein the rugby snacks in made us all a bit ill lol don’t usually eat to those quantities ha. Can plan rest around the rugby probably another long dog walk and son wants me to help him get his train set out and running lol. Drives wife and I !!!!!! mad - has it running for hours and sounds like a train lol.

@RelievedSheff ha yeah will be able to have a drink on Saturday if I don’t get the anxiety ha and completed dry jan only over half a month into Feb. Always been a bit slow in some respects lol.

your diary that made me think again mate I was completely confused by your approach as it doesn’t quite add up to quickest way out but realised it’s not really about that for you - you’re not stressing about the numbers. 

I’ve used debt as a tool for years whole adult life really ha probably why it doesn’t really bother me but also why I was blasé about it - gave it no respect. Took it for granted and used it as a tool to forget living within my means or even what my means where in the first place FML. 

getmore4less

if the guy is out on the road could be over the limit in the mornings  if going a bit heavy on the sauce in the evenings.

Sorry to panic you but no rugby this weekend will have to find something else to fill those hours.

The snacks can go over the top, we sometime look for hot tasty treats to have at 1/2 time rather than the cold stuff that's too easy to get through.
Indian selection works in our house or prawns, breaded or tempura 

Another option might be a home made Pizza to stay on the cooking themes 

Careful with the train set might give the wife an excuse to bring up the need for headphones again.

I am a budget, net position person as long as the spends are on track to budget it just works, does not matter where the money or debt is. you just want the highest income on cash an the lowest rates on debt(0% is good)
With dates looming for the 0%  that is a cashflow problem not a budget one.

In the good old days when CC companies were awash with free money you could borrow loads at 0% and just stick it in savings or pay down your mortgage debt(offset you could get it back for when the 0% ran out) 

FootyFanDan

Hey mate, 

I have finally managed to get up to speed with your latest posts. I must say you are sounding a lot more clear minded which is super, great news on the 27 days as well mate good for you. I am another who tends to buy snacks when I know there is a sporting event I wanna watch I always go overboard with it! ha. 

Must say I thought the meal idea for valentines day was brilliant, sorry it wasn't as well received as it should have been. For what its worth I tend to think its another day for people to spend un-needed money I guess, although I do buy the partner flowers and a card. We then have a nice meal in once the little one is tucked up in bed. I think for her to expect £600 headphones shows there is still some work to do with the wife on the budget front haha. 

Re your way of budgeting like many have said find a way that works for you and find what balance you prepared to strike between payments to debt and having some lifestyle too, ultimately it has to be realistic as you know it is something you need to be able to do for a while. I think slow and steady doesn't need to be a bad thing depending how you do it. I do think you need the wife to adjust in certain areas but the thing she will always have to throw back is the RR I guess so maybe play that one carefully lol.

I think overall you are doing a superb job mate given everything you have had to deal with - you are dealing with the personal habit stuff and handling that as well as it could be expected - I know you like to look back on past mistakes both personal and financial side, but the present you should be mega proud of what you are achieving. 

alt80

@getmore4less yeah very true he’s being a bit of a nightmare at the moment. Just in a !!!!!! place generally I think. 

Re rugby !!!!!! that’s been a good couple of weekends. Will have a rethink lol. Wife did the pizza last match, we ate like pigs mate felt rough all night. Both wife and I find eating a lot just makes us lethargic.

Haha sounds like you’re speaking from experience re the card companies! Not so sure you’re the saint I thought you were mate lol. Def something I’d do now my head is screwed in the right way re throwing the 0% in savings / offset res mortgage !!!!!! love it. 

@FootyFanDan thanks mate. 28 days today, 4 weeks since the last binge ha. Realise I needed the life overhaul sort myself out, could be a whole lot !!!!!! worse.

I did buy her flowers and she did enjoy the meal just hated the fact she didn’t get the headphones lol. Still getting asked about them. 

Think I’ve got through to the wife re the Range though tbh. She was on the Minis until she specced one next thing on the phone to her parents crying about the lack of toys and size of the screen is too small. FML. Asked her what she’d buy if we were going to buy the main family car again - G-Wagen haha don’t even feel !!!!!! guilty now tbh they cost just as much, some more and showed her. She said she ‘didn’t realise’. 

Actually asked her what she wants ultimately said if I could step up or she could find someone with a main res home in Nottingham (because parents but only thing I’ve got checked ha), flat in central London and villa in Italy who’d dress her in head to toe Balmain, take her on holidays 4 times a year and buy her a black G-Wagen and a white Lamborghini she’d be happy with that. Looked at me straight in the !!!!!! eye mate and said she thinks that’s probably not realistic though now girls younger than her on IG living her dream feels I’ve ‘stolen her opportunities in life’ but not my fault I’m ‘not very good at business’ yep thanks for the vote of confidence ha.  Whole chat about the whole she should have found a Forest player but didn’t have the confidence in her 20s and was worried they’d get a transfer out of Nottingham FML most wives would probably be getting the champagne out that day ha but that’s why she stuck with me apparently - wasn’t going to have to move away from her mum and dad properly !!!!!! crying saying son would be so happy if his dad was a footballer lol FML. 100 didn’t make things better pointing out son wouldn’t even be son if his dad was a footballer haha. 100 she’s massively disappointed she’s wound up with someone who can’t even buy her AirPods Max for Valentines haha. How me telling her if she wants to find someone else that’s her choice came up - always been disappointed with me tbt even more so now the whole budget thing has started. Said she thought it might be ok at first and was worried about our res home but not really finding it enjoyable and doesn’t want to ‘live like someone on benefits’ yep not even joking ha. It’s !!!!!! ridiculous didn’t actually realise she was that into the lifestyle stuff. Yeah I did know she liked it, so do I and suppose the pair of us bonded over it ha but actually didn’t think she’d got it quite as bad as me, got it !!!!!! worse imo.