First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Have a good week and take time to be with your family. They need you.

alt80

Thanks all. Happy Monday. Better state of mind than I’ve been in for a while tbh. Managed to sleep 1-7 woke once at 6 so not too bad compared to recently. 

Need to deal with the figures today. Know nothing but the mins coming off the cards this month unless we sell anything and not having too much luck with that right now. Half issue probably the stuff we’re selling and no one going out anywhere tbh. 

Yeah chill app helping need to just stick with it and not get into the spiral. Iswym re working for me. Probably need to listen to the wife and not be working after dinner. Realised through writing this I don’t take any real time away from it if she’s watching tv or whatever I’m doing work stuff often without any real direction working for working sake I think sometimes haha.

Packed lunch FML lol. Owned up to wife and as predicted asked why I went there rather than coming home ha. She was just like why the !!!!!! did I go there- it’s not that great at the best of times true lol but coffee ok. Deserve to made myself look like a !!!!!! for going there apparently. 😆 Don’t get no sympathy from her lol.

warby68

On lunches, husband sometimes buys a takeaway lunch but brings it home or back to office if he's local - halfway house, eat in comfort, don't need to buy the drinks and extras and you still get the main lunch thing you fancy. 
A quick business question/possible win - you always refer to lunches as 'expensed' so don't count. Do you mean these are billed to clients or that they're just legitimate expenses? If the latter then its still your money. Small items but cumulatively can add up. 

When you're doing the finances, just treat it as job done once you've done the necessary updates and put it away. Remember the basic plan is already achieving a lot - it has removed the £3k min overspend pm and is reducting debt by minimum £1k. That is all good. More sales will come in time.

I don't think there's anything wrong with working varied hours but agree it should be on a need to basis and not as avoidance for everything else. When you are your own boss there's no such thing as 9-5 but equally you have to be responsible for not letting it consume every waking hour so a few fixed slots for other things is good too. Family time/couple time/own time - all important. When you've been calmer for longer, you'll probably learn how to just relax a bit as well.

alt80

Expensed to business counts for purpose of business yes but not purpose of personal accounts. Iswym re savings, yeah it’s all fees tbh staff have lunches out too when on fee earners I’m not really bothered about it so long as not taking the p - def would have a different attitude if the government didn’t take so much in the first place, at least comes off the tax bill ha. Tbh something I really hate about lockdown I do enjoy and miss cafe lunches, never going to love the takeaway thing. So could probably start saving on that a bit tbf. One of the few times I do switch off from work for a little while when I have my lunch now it’s not even enjoyable just sat in the freezing cold on the lower half of my tailgate ha.

Iswym re having reduced my reliance on credit definitely a step in the right direction. I am anxious to clear my debts tbh feel like it would enable me to move on with my life. New start and all that. Would be easy to clear the cards and remain perpetually in debt for cars i have the temptation all the time to just carry on carrying on with that. Ultimately just not helping myself constantly having the equivalent of a fair few peoples full time wage going out on cars every month indefinitely I don’t think. Might feel differently if sustained growth offsets this entirely idk going to have a look at the figures tonight and try be objective about it. Half think I’ve lived too much of a lifestyle as a few pointed out on here not living to a massively tight budget by their standards but definitely feels like it for me.

I’ve never had that balance between work/ other. Find it very difficult tbh unless really in right mindset to keep away. Mind I’m such a sad act I’ve had many a night on the sniff just to do more work embarrassing really lol. The years of big nights more or less behind me and have been for about a decade lol probably go out on a big one about 3 times a year before lockdown ha so no excuse for it there. Need to quit that altogether post lockdown I think, take staff out for a meal tell them I’ve got too old for it ha. Other mates probably don’t need in my life really. Had the one I was meant to be doing JV on phone this morning been on it all night FML he’s a mess, realise it when not doing it myself tbh then paranoid thinking is that what I’m like haha another reason to stay away. 

Judes123

There’s nothing worse than a drunk ,when you are sober.The same applies to drugs

enthusiasticsaver

Any money you would have wasted on takeaways you are not enjoying anyway can you save so your eating out budget once we can get out is increased? Seems like a waste to pay for rubbish food and eat it in your car when you could either take something from home or go home for lunch if you are close enough.  Gives you a break and a walk at the same time. 

Great that you are really thinking through your expenditure and seeing how crazy the car expenditure was when you started on this journey.  I would give seeing or speaking to JV mate a miss at the moment while you are trying to kick the habit.  Maybe block him for a few weeks then see how you feel? He sounds like a really bad influence on you. 

alt80

@jude123 haha yeah definitely agree there. 😆

@enthusiasticsaver I don’t eat lunch out unless it’s expensed so doesn’t affect my personal budget in the slightest. If I’m wfh I have lunch at home. Probably have 3 lunches a week from cafes max. 

I need to go through this budget properly 100% sober in right mindset so not going to go back on it and actually consider what we’re really going to spend on stuff outside of absolute essentials tbh. I’ve not done that because I hate to think the debt/ balloon is going to take longer to clear iyswim. Fact is we’re never going to not go on holiday again but whilst in this lockdown for an indefinite period of time might as well take it off the cards. Worst happens assuming used all money to clear existing balances as far as possible can always get a purchase card (0%) and pay it off over a longer period of time- just with the caveat it’s not spent on stupid stuff. Coming to terms with I’m probably not going to live my life entirely debt free like some on here - never have a credit card again types, just need to be very mindful about what I’m spending it on and have a clear plan to clear it. Likewise cars. Wish I could be like that tbh but longer term I’d rather put my money into income producing assets so if that means some shorter term borrowing on the personal side at low interest I’m ok with that. I don’t believe I’m never going to buy a car again etc tbh as much as I’d love to say I’m cured of all lifestyle spending and will live on rice and beans wearing the same clothes until I’m 90, I just don’t think that’s realistic for me. Not sure anyone will agree on here or even if it makes sense (does in my head but not sure on paper) re future and think I’m just finding an excuse - I’m not as I do plan to live to an overall yearly/ monthly budget, within my means overall with any future debt accounted for and not let things just slip away. Sorry if you now think I am wasting people’s time as not entirely planning to never borrow banks’ money again. 

He rang ‘about his portfolio’ lol anything !!!!!! but tbh so didn’t pass him on but FML he chats a lot of !!!!!! when he’s on the stuff. Not the best of influence tbf but hard to block entirely. Funniest thing is though he lives in this massive house which is really his parents’ place but it’s so !!!!!! big no need to hardly see each other. Anyway ends the conv with ‘oh !!!!!! my mum is coming’ 😆 made me laugh tbh feel quite pleased about my res home even if it is about 1/3 the value of his and he constantly takes the !!!!!! about it being mortgaged it is at least mine ha.

strawb_shortcake

Alt, you seem to think it's either or on your lifestyle choices, I don't think anyone is expecting you to give up credit cards, HP or PCP cars, and never buy anything again in its entirety, they have their place.
It isn't necessarily like AA where you can't have another drink.
In my opinion, it's about finding that balance that offers sustainability, not over committing yourself, and finding a budget that suits you and your families needs.
You aren't in the position you are in now because you had one credit agreement, it because you went a little bit gung ho on them.
Once your core debts the credit cards are gone you can set new budgets, build up saving pots for big ticket items etc. You might not be able to go and splurge £10k in JL in afternoon, to be honest no one really needs to do this but you will be able to treat yourself. You will still be able to buy your Aventus or Penhaligon's but it will be part of your budget, and not a case 
of buying the entire portraits range because your bored.

This is the time to learn how to live to a  budget, define between needs and wants. You and your wife do need to address the compulsive shopping and behaviours which have led to some of your current problems but you are making good progress with that.

You aren't wasting anyone's time by posting, we are all behind you on this

RelievedSheff

Like you I don't think we will ever be entirely debt free. But we do want to get rid of the credit card debt. We will almost certainly pretty much always have HP loans on vehicles.

If things turn out as planned for us this year (which is by no means guaranteed after the last 12 months!) then by the end of the year we will have another £20-25k HP loan on the go for a motorhome.

warby68

I'm another not expecting you to take a vow of poverty and never spend again.
We've operated by the general principle of only borrowing for property or vehicles. It was my dad's advice many years ago when consumer credit was barely a thing. Working in finance taught me to pitch debt to the life and amortisation rate of the asset and certainly not to still be paying for something when the next one is due. Holidays, lifestyle, weddings, furniture, white goods - all that stuff either doesn't last or has no value once its no longer new so never borrowed for them. Home improvements is my grey area - would probably consider that OK if we really needed to as it would be something that lasted/or kept value in the property. Obviously this ignores any crisis situations where borrowing is the only option.
That's just my general view on personal borrowing - there are loads of options between zero, ever and too much, all the time.

You will find a level that works better for you eventually.