First Steps to Solvency

warby68

Great updates @alt80
Here's hoping your wife can follow your lead into a more balanced and real life. I think people were telling you at the beginning of your diary how brilliant your life could be on your earnings, with established businesses, and a great home and family. You didn't believe a word of it then, now you seem to have found a completely different way of thinking, even about your inlaws lol.
You wanted people to envy you and very soon they will, for genuine reasons. 
Wife missed the chance to establish herself as a person in her own right, has never had to work and be responsible for herself never mind other people but its not too late. She obviously sees problems in how she is and that the world isn't what she want its to be. It will be much more of an honest change if she gets to it in her own time. 
You should be really proud of what you've done even if its still a struggle. I hope you are.
FIL offering to pay for iPad does say he knows whose fault it was.
Good luck with the Jan budget aims and everything else.
 

enthusiasticsaver

Wow fantastic update @alt80 first on getting so much paid off the cards in a relatively short time, getting your wife back on board again and better relations with PIL. If you were my son in law I would be proud too to see such a change from the person who first posted in September to the focused debt demolisher you are now. You are never going to be frugal but I think you will be more considered in your spending going forward which is just as good. As these debts go and the cars are sorted you and your wife will see more of that £8k a month income when you are not paying out over £2.5k in debt repayments. 

I think you were right not to accept your FIL offer to pay for the iPad. Your wife needs to feel the pain of a reduced budget for a few months to stop her doing that again. 

RelievedSheff

I am pleased that your relationship with the father in law is improving. The more people you have on side the easier it will become. 

Sarahwithlove

That's great about the improved relationship with your father in law. Im sure your son would appreciate having you at more family events.
Just look at how far you have come in such a short space of time. Just sounds like your wife needs that time herself to adjust to the new lifestyle. 
I think that's the bit that needs to change. To realise that even if you clear all the debts you can't go back to how things were completely or you will end up back here a few years later in same position again. It's finding a balanced lifestyle on what you have coming in and that can be a great lifestyle if budgeted for. 

alt80

@katsu thank you. Yeah my perspective definitely changing. Definitely looking forward to being free of the cards/ car finance debts. Hope it will work out better for both me and family in long run tbh.

@ryanm8655 Thanks mate. 

Haha yeah onto day 3 for the dry jan. Not even missing it tbh but will see when I get a week/ 10 days in or actually fancy having a drink. FML re your mate from school cops probably least of his worries lol. 

So glad to hear you’re settling in, looks a great flat in a fantastic location bit jealous in some ways mate. Worth more than my house ha and from a very quick glance the yield is !!!!!! for the LL, something like c.2.5% gross haha. Most places open here too but takeaway only.

You’ll find a girl mate no trouble just don’t go making any commitments too early on and think about it with your brain. 

@getmore4less astonishing really lol tbh I’ve certainly never felt like that’s the case. Made me realise I need to be a bit more grateful for what I have long way to fall. 

@warby68 haha they were. Past few years been nothing but stress/ manic spending, feeling I’ve no future and being self destructive. Odd moments of wanting to sort myself out but nothing sustained. No time for my family massive regrets there. Things still aren’t great mentally still but getting through day by day. Sleep massively affects me, terrible night last night been like a zombie all day. Feeling oddly positive about Jan budget even though it’s the least amount we’ve had since being on it. We’ve done a food plan for the coming week £70 order, probably be about £90 after a trip to the shop too but not bad at all. Realised lunches are expensive over this christmas holiday - nothing expensed and watching the card balance haha.

@enthusiasticsaver thanks. I’ve put my mind to getting rid of it now. Know there’s still a slog ahead but can get through that. Can’t see me being the frugal sort tbh get this gone and I’ll be onto funding an AM lol can ‘see’ you now head in your hands thinking what an idiot wasting my money ha. Only going to be financing it if I’ve offset with additional units producing more than the interest though learned my lesson. Only took the stupid refinance, losing two cars, having to find £94k in 4 years for RR, pay off the cards and live. FML really am a special kind of dunce.

Ha hope so re wife and budget not thought about it in that way but hoping that’ll work.

@RelievedSheff yes I think so too. Thank you. 

@Sarahwithlove 100 I’m not going back to the stupid stuff. Worked out all I’ve spent on credit would work out 5 units easy would also have my 997 too. Not counting what I refinanced and payments on Jag / BMW. Would double portfolio with that lot. OK would be driving older RR and it was the ultimate !!!!!! edition but oh well ha. 

alt80

Variable spends up to £310/1165.

Actually sat with wife and went through projected variables for month - was feeling a bit concerned. Know RR going to need filling twice before reset day and BMW once so that’s going to be £250 in petrol. Filling RR at a quarter tank now don’t need to be playing petrol station roulette lol. Got enough food for week ahead now when order comes but paid for that - still got a few things left over from Christmas too honestly think my in-laws reckoned they were feeding an army when they brought our Boxing Day stuff round. No alcohol this month and wife reckons £10 tops for rest of this week tbf she’s right so 2 more weeks to get through food wise at say £80 each week, so another £170 in food. Realistically we’ll get out for a couple of unexpected Starbucks so saying £50 for that. Should be less tbh. Nothing else to do wife promised no make up spends just have a really light, quiet month. If we really can stick to that it’s another £385 off that M&S card. Both of us were really shocked. 

Wife got physio for her foot arch tomorrow. If they think she’s ok will start running again but back on the fitness properly tomorrow. Done bits over the Christmas period but not been too obsessive neither has wife. Tbh would rather her on the fitness than on IG lol. She’s going to think about what we can do this coming weekend. Had a really lazy one today which I’ve quite enjoyed tbh didn’t sleep well so not really been feeling like doing much anyway. Going to go to bed early tonight and read a bit. Take another one of the herbal pills wife bought - seem to have helped a bit.

Back to business tomorrow easing in fairly gently but rest of week is mad. Get it whilst we can - who know’s what’s going to happen with new (almost inevitable) lockdown?

ladyholly

I think we will all be in lockdown very soon. At the moment we are in tier 3 but I really cant see that lasting.

Sounds positive on the money front and wife seems to be more on board.

Hope the herbal pills continue to help.

alt80

@ladyholly tier 4 here as I’m sure I’ve moaned about before ha. I’m still a bit on edge about stuff relating to lockdown tbh longer it goes on bigger effect on economy and bigger potential effect on business. BTLs are fine. Are what they are lol. Got development block to finish and sell or def sell majority bit worried about that and new project - not so worried about that. Main business some parts will fair better than others, just if one offsets the other (doubtful tbh). Not panicking at least but very thankful I’m not wholly reliant on sales/ pre-purchase work. Same time who knows what’s going to happen, it’s strange.

Wife definitely back on board not quite so upset either. Day off IG done her the world of good haha.

ladyholly

You have mentioned being in tier 4 on occasion 

alt80

@ladyholly hahaha wife can’t stand me chatting !!!!!! about dealing with corona. Last time I mentioned how I’d deal with it she told me to stick to the day job ha.